Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 10 minutes ago, Brewster McCloud said: It's just sitting there on top of the mushrooms, like king shit of fuck mountain, like a wino passed out in the park with his cock hanging out his pissy breeks. What is one supposed to do with it? Eat it? Eat raw parsley? Bugger that for a game of soldiers. You have to pick it up an throw it away, which raises the question of what the bloody hell it's doing there in the first place? Got to put a green leaf on there! Must have a green leaf! It's not a breakfast without a green leaf! And a couple of turds next to a bowl of beans, wtf? Why put beans in bowl so you have to scoop them out? What did the humble baked bean do to deserve such treatment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewster McCloud Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Was a bit much, wasn't it? I am somewhat inebriated. Still, though, that bloody parsley... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsfromlee Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 2 hours ago, Brewster McCloud said: It's just sitting there on top of the mushrooms, like king shit of fuck mountain, like a wino passed out in the park with his cock hanging out his pissy breeks. What is one supposed to do with it? Eat it? Eat raw parsley? Bugger that for a game of soldiers. You have to pick it up an throw it away, which raises the question of what the bloody hell it's doing there in the first place? Got to put a green leaf on there! Must have a green leaf! It's not a breakfast without a green leaf! And a couple of turds next to a bowl of beans, wtf? Why put beans in bowl so you have to scoop them out? What did the humble baked bean do to deserve such treatment? It's no different to using a sausage as a breakwater. I may want to mix the beans and the egg but I want that to be my decision. But I'm nit-picking. On the whole a very good effort. Seven on ten. Let's make love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brewster McCloud Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 28 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said: It's no different to using a sausage as a breakwater. I may want to mix the beans and the egg but I want that to be my decision. But I'm nit-picking. On the whole a very good effort. Seven on ten. Let's make love. I would very much like to make love you as I'm quite incrediby drunk. I will regret this later, but here goes: beans do not belong in a bowl as it takes away one's agency. It's the cook saying "only have a little bit of beans becase I don't trust you." Sausages can act as a breakwater, that's up to me, the breakfaster. When you put the beans in a pretentious little cup, well... I think we're almost on the same page, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsfromlee Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 10 minutes ago, Brewster McCloud said: I would very much like to make love you as I'm quite incrediby drunk. I will regret this later, but here goes: beans do not belong in a bowl as it takes away one's agency. It's the cook saying "only have a little bit of beans becase I don't trust you." Sausages can act as a breakwater, that's up to me, the breakfaster. When you put the beans in a pretentious little cup, well... I think we're almost on the same page, sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 I'll go one further and say beans don't belong in a fry up at all. Tinned tomatoes are far superior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 31 minutes ago, Brewster McCloud said: I would very much like to make love you as I'm quite incrediby drunk. I will regret this later, but here goes: beans do not belong in a bowl as it takes away one's agency. It's the cook saying "only have a little bit of beans becase I don't trust you." Sausages can act as a breakwater, that's up to me, the breakfaster. When you put the beans in a pretentious little cup, well... I think we're almost on the same page, sir. The beans belong in a cup, with a sausage as a spoon. Could call it a Michael special. Don’t you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retro Red Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Like a savoury 99 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 I don't like the beans in their little prison but I didn't realise until recently how many people don't like beans on the breakfast. Didn't take more than a millisecond to ditch the parsley. Odd outrage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 4 hours ago, gmoney said: I'll go one further and say beans don't belong in a fry up at all. Tinned tomatoes are far superior. Both should be in one, especially plum tomatoes. Mushrooms should not be because they're a vegetable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members gmoney Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 2 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: Both should be in one, especially plum tomatoes. Mushrooms should not be because they're a vegetable. So is an egg as far as I am concerned. Mushrooms that have been fried until they are leathery and brown please. Chuck the beans out on the way out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted January 1, 2019 Share Posted January 1, 2019 Christ, next they'll be saying that chippys shouldn't sell kebabs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 Now I've made my thoughts clear I'll leave before this becomes another collection of an hilarious UKFF in-jokes. Also, fried bread and never toast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted January 1, 2019 Author Moderators Share Posted January 1, 2019 Too late. SAM GIBBS. FORK. PEOPLE STEALING EXILED'S BOSSMAN RUMBLE JOKE. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted January 1, 2019 Paid Members Share Posted January 1, 2019 22 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said: Also, fried bread and never toast. I've never understood why someone would go for toast over fried bread on a big breakfast. Toast before or after but fried bread with. Preferably it should be under the fried eggs too, if I'm being particular about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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