Paid Members JLM Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I'm not nearly as active on here as I used to be, but it's threads like this that make it impossible to leave. S-Jeezy you are a mental, and no one is better than Woyzeck at expressing just how mental a mental's behavious is. Five stars. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator Frankie Crisp Posted November 4, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 4, 2011 I'm on the shitter as i type this by the way. Fairly routine so far but i'll report back if anything out of the ordinary happens. Â I'm on the shitter as i type this by the way. Fairly routine so far but i'll report back if anything out of the ordinary happens. That's one hell of a shite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Fox Piss Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't wash my hands after having a shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't wash my hands after having a shit. Â All Steve's stuff I believe. But I'm not having this for one moment. You're a dirty bastard for even typing it, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in. Â I now realise in retrospect that this now makes me a hypocrite. Â By the way, I had a second attempt at the toilet seat today but this time at work. Twas much more comfortable than the one at home. I might start taking my own toilet seat round with me. Â Oh, and I'm proud of any moment that resurrects JLM to this forum. I miss that guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in. Â I now realise in retrospect that this now makes me a hypocrite. Â By the way, I had a second attempt at the toilet seat today but this time at work. Twas much more comfortable than the one at home. I might start taking my own toilet seat round with me. Â Oh, and I'm proud of any moment that resurrects JLM to this forum. I miss that guy. Â You're not a hypocrite because at least you're not a dirty bastard, you're just weird. It might not look like it looking back on this thread, Steve, but it's much better to be the latter. Â As for the portable toilet seat, my daughter has a padded Iggle Piggle one but you might need something bigger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Chris B Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Christ, this thread. Utterly magnificent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Bellenda Carlisle Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 I don't wash my hands after having a shit. Â If that's true I hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members JNLister Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Anyone else had the greatest shitting experience ever, in which you take a look down before you flush and discover you've done a long turd and two small round ones that have landed in perfect cock-and-balls alignment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philo_Vance Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 What's the accepted term for a shit that leaves no arse-residue? So when you wipe, the very first sheet is clean and poop-free.. I've always referred to it as a 'glory-wipe' but my missus favours the term 'ghost poo'.. Â I imagine what I have could be referred to as a 'poltergeist poo'.. Comes uninvited, makes a lot of noise and leaves a hell of a mess... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awards Moderator HarmonicGenerator Posted November 4, 2011 Awards Moderator Share Posted November 4, 2011 (edited) This thread is reminding me more and more of this episode of South Park   (it's the one where Randy and Bono fight for the Biggest Crap) Edited November 4, 2011 by HarmonicGenerator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kendal mint cake Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 JLM, please return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Justice Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Anyone else had the greatest shitting experience ever, in which you take a look down before you flush and discover you've done a long turd and two small round ones that have landed in perfect cock-and-balls alignment? Â I took a shit recently that was perfectly cock shaped, complete with bellend. I might start documenting my toilet visits. This is the most interest anyone has ever paid to me anywhere in my whole life. I was less popular at my wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolveswrestling Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 The Best turds are the ones that somehow force there way around the bend without you even knowing, you have a glance down to check it out and there's no sign of it.Amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted November 4, 2011 Paid Members Share Posted November 4, 2011 Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in. Woah woah WOAH. How did you notice he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss? Did you sniff his hands? Â Late to this thread, but christ it's taken me all day (popping in and out of the thread) to catch up. I had to stop reading at work because I was literally reduced to tears. I love this forum, you won't find this shit anywhere else. Â Sitting on the porcelain is mental, as is standing up to wipe. As somebody mentioned, when you stand up your arse cheeks push together- making it harder to wipe and it also increases the chances of faecal smearing. Good lord, that's the first time I've ever used the term 'faecal smearing' before. Â And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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