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Steve Justice

Men & The Toilet Seat

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Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in.

Woah woah WOAH. How did you notice he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss? Did you sniff his hands?

 

Late to this thread, but christ it's taken me all day (popping in and out of the thread) to catch up. I had to stop reading at work because I was literally reduced to tears. I love this forum, you won't find this shit anywhere else.

 

Sitting on the porcelain is mental, as is standing up to wipe. As somebody mentioned, when you stand up your arse cheeks push together- making it harder to wipe and it also increases the chances of faecal smearing. Good lord, that's the first time I've ever used the term 'faecal smearing' before.

 

And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

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Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in.

Woah woah WOAH. How did you notice he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss? Did you sniff his hands?

 

It's a small business, with only one male toilet with one cubicle and two urinals. Sinks are right next to the urinals, he finished and headed straight for the door. I really ripped his head off too. Deserved it though. Tramp.

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Not washing your hands is rank. I verbally dressed down one of my members of staff when I noticed he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss, who was then going on to get the round of drinks in.

Woah woah WOAH. How did you notice he hadn't washed his hands after going for a piss? Did you sniff his hands?

 

Late to this thread, but christ it's taken me all day (popping in and out of the thread) to catch up. I had to stop reading at work because I was literally reduced to tears. I love this forum, you won't find this shit anywhere else.

 

Sitting on the porcelain is mental, as is standing up to wipe. As somebody mentioned, when you stand up your arse cheeks push together- making it harder to wipe and it also increases the chances of faecal smearing. Good lord, that's the first time I've ever used the term 'faecal smearing' before.

 

And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

 

Was going so well...

 

Much less chance of splashback? That makes it sound like you sit down in the urinal.

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And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

 

Was going so well...

 

Much less chance of splashback? That makes it sound like you sit down in the urinal.

Whenever I use a urinal, I can literally feel splashes on my hands- which puts me in a difficult position as I don't want to pull my boxers & trousers up until after I've washed my hands first for fear the splashes will transfer onto my trousers. Therefore I have to shuffle across to the sink and wash my hands first- with trousers still open.

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That means you'd have to shuffle over to the hand towels/dryers also...?

 

So you're just wondering around the gents for a good couple of minutes with your old boy hanging out! post-piss?!

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And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

 

Was going so well...

 

Much less chance of splashback? That makes it sound like you sit down in the urinal.

Whenever I use a urinal, I can literally feel splashes on my hands- which puts me in a difficult position as I don't want to pull my boxers & trousers up until after I've washed my hands first for fear the splashes will transfer onto my trousers. Therefore I have to shuffle across to the sink and wash my hands first- with trousers still open.

 

I guess I don't have to stand as near the urinal as you because that doesn't happen to me.

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The Best turds are the ones that somehow force there way around the bend without you even knowing, you have a glance down to check it out and there's no sign of it.Amazing.

 

This, combined with a clean wipe, is called a magic poo.

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That means you'd have to shuffle over to the hand towels/dryers also...?

 

So you're just wondering around the gents for a good couple of minutes with your old boy hanging out! post-piss?!

Yeah, shuffle over to the hand towels too (dryers are shit and you only end up drying your hands over your trousers anyway)

 

But I do manage to whip my boxers back up so the old chap isn't showing.

 

I guess I don't have to stand as near the urinal as you because that doesn't happen to me.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MASSIVE PENIS, YES I SEE WHAT YOU ARE INSINUATING VERY GOOD AND FUNNY OR POSSIBLY NEITHER

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And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

 

On the subject of splash back, does anyone else put a landing pad down before they take a big dump? I have to put a few sheets of bog roll down to take the edge of the impact; otherwise I nearly always get a wet arse.

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That means you'd have to shuffle over to the hand towels/dryers also...?

 

So you're just wondering around the gents for a good couple of minutes with your old boy hanging out! post-piss?!

Yeah, shuffle over to the hand towels too (dryers are shit and you only end up drying your hands over your trousers anyway)

 

But I do manage to whip my boxers back up so the old chap isn't showing.

 

I guess I don't have to stand as near the urinal as you because that doesn't happen to me.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MASSIVE PENIS, YES I SEE WHAT YOU ARE INSINUATING VERY GOOD AND FUNNY OR POSSIBLY NEITHER

 

It was a joke.

 

I much prefer pissing at a urinal than a toilet, if I ever make enough cash I'll definitely have one in my house.

 

Canadian toilets have too much water in them, they're nearly full, I'm not an especially well hung man (despite my hilarious joke to the contrary) and a couple of times here the tip of my bell has touched the water, it's fucking whack! That can't be right surely? Why do they do this?

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Canadian toilets have too much water in them, they're nearly full, I'm not an especially well hung man (despite my hilarious joke to the contrary) and a couple of times here the tip of my bell has touched the water, it's fucking whack! That can't be right surely? Why do they do this?

 

Sounds like it was blocked up to me.

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Canadian toilets have too much water in them, they're nearly full, I'm not an especially well hung man (despite my hilarious joke to the contrary) and a couple of times here the tip of my bell has touched the water, it's fucking whack! That can't be right surely? Why do they do this?

 

Sounds like it was blocked up to me.

 

I've lived here for a year, they can't be all blocked! They just have more water in the bogs here for some weird reason.

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And also add me to the 'sit down whilst peeing' crew. Much less chance of splash-back and I get to play Solitaire at the same time :thumbsup:

 

On the subject of splash back, does anyone else put a landing pad down before they take a big dump? I have to put a few sheets of bog roll down to take the edge of the impact; otherwise I nearly always get a wet arse.

Yes, but only to minimise the sound of me laying cable.

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