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Men & The Toilet Seat


Steve Justice

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I try to shit at work everyday I'm there. The facilities are great so I have no problem much like yourself. I also believe that the vast majority of Women do, but are too embarrassed to say. How the fuck can you not? If you need to shit, then you need to shit. Deny it and you'll end up with the runs.

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I have some good shits at work. Take the iPod in, or some reading material, and just relax. The stall, as I said earlier, is immense, so plenty of stretching time.

American toilets have so much more visibility than your UK toilet. The door/sides are higher off the floor and are lower as well. Not to mention there are a lot of gaps around the fittings. It's unpleasant knowing that someone can see you when they walk by. UK toilets isolate you and give you your own safe poo-haven.

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This is terrible!

 

Was this Steve's secret from the low points thread? is it finally revealed? It's worse than we ever thought.

 

I can't believe this sitting on the porcelain business.

 

Also I'd never take a dump while my girlfriend was in the room and she's the same and we're more fucked up than most couples.

 

Peeing is fine though.

 

I don't really like shitting at work if there's a time limit/people are aware of where I am, but if I can chill and take a dump with no stress it's fine.

 

Apparently you shouldn't use too much toilet paper as wiping your arse too much after there's no shit left can give you anal fissures, I do always make sure it's clean as a whistle though.

 

I'd like to use a bidet/moist toilet paper, sometimes just wiping shit off with dry paper seems "not good enough"

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I have some good shits at work. Take the iPod in, or some reading material, and just relax. The stall, as I said earlier, is immense, so plenty of stretching time.

 

Anyone do a George Costanza and take off their shirt?

 

A friend of mine removes his trousers but leaves his shoes on. He also has to always have a post-poo shower.

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This is terrible!

 

Was this Steve's secret from the low points thread? is it finally revealed? It's worse than we ever thought.

 

I can't believe this sitting on the porcelain business.

 

Also I'd never take a dump while my girlfriend was in the room and she's the same and we're more fucked up than most couples.

 

Peeing is fine though.

 

I don't really like shitting at work if there's a time limit/people are aware of where I am, but if I can chill and take a dump with no stress it's fine.

 

Apparently you shouldn't use too much toilet paper as wiping your arse too much after there's no shit left can give you anal fissures, I do always make sure it's clean as a whistle though.

 

I'd like to use a bidet/moist toilet paper, sometimes just wiping shit off with dry paper seems "not good enough"

 

No it isn't, but thanks for bringing that up again. :thumbsup:

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I have some good shits at work. Take the iPod in, or some reading material, and just relax. The stall, as I said earlier, is immense, so plenty of stretching time.

 

Anyone do a George Costanza and take off their shirt?

 

A friend of mine removes his trousers but leaves his shoes on. He also has to always have a post-poo shower.

 

My brother always has a post shit shower, can't really make fun of him for it, "Ha ha! your arse is clean!" isn't much of an insult.

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I think, for scientific purposes, I will be trying out all of these methods, see if I have an affinity for them.

 

#1 - The squatty shit and wipe

 

Worked really well for the shit, basically pushed it out with zero strain (kinda naturally fell out), but the leg strain was a big of a 'mare. The wipe was weird too, had to switch to back-to-front for balance issues.

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I have some good shits at work. Take the iPod in, or some reading material, and just relax. The stall, as I said earlier, is immense, so plenty of stretching time.

 

Anyone do a George Costanza and take off their shirt?

 

A friend of mine removes his trousers but leaves his shoes on. He also has to always have a post-poo shower.

 

 

:laugh: Now you're just taking the piss.. no way is this serious.

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Apparently so. But he is a weird, amusing fellow.

 

It may be that it's been exaggerated over time to him doing it on every occasion as i've heard the story (which it may have originated from) that he was in the queue for a club, had been baking one for several hours and could no longer hold it so went to release some barrels in a nearby car park behind some dumpster bins. In doing so, he removed his trousers but kept his shoes on. Once he'd painted the town brown he felt so disgusted with himself he drove home and had a shower.

 

Which is a story i've always loved as he could have quite easily just drove him to have a shit to begin with and he's the type to always drive and duck out early. And if he does really shower after every poo, the driving home would have been inevitable anyway. Madness.

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Here's another one for you that came up once and i probably don't want to know the Steve Justice answer to. I've known people to not bother looking at the paper after wipes.

 

'What!? When, how do you know you're clean!?'

 

 

'You just know.'

 

 

No. Just no.

 

 

This is surely common practice, yes?

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Follow up question - after you see a clean paper, do you do one more wipe, 'just to be sure'? I do, but will use less paper for the final wipe.

Yeah, I do this.

 

I wipe sitting down. I pee sitting down (due to an accident I had once). I don't mind doing a shit at work but I went through 13 years of school without ever doing one there. never done a shit in a public toilet either.

 

Just realised "accident" makes it sound like I pissed myself or on the floor. it was neither, it was much more painful.

Edited by tiger_rick
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I always check after wiping. I don't want skid marks.

 

Once though, I done a shit that was so big (it was fucking massive. It hurt to get it out and made my arse bleed), that I took a photo of it and sent it to my mates. It was a good 8 inches long, and about a 4 inch circumfrence. It was both glorious to behold and disgusting in its nature.

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