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Men & The Toilet Seat


Steve Justice

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When you're in a loving relationship like me, you can walk in on your partners whilst they are taking a dump in order to obtain something from the bathroom that you can't be bothered to wait for.

 

However, if I really need a piss and she's already on the loo, she refuses to let me piss between her legs and into the toilet. Which is why when we move house, we're going to get one with two toilets.

 

Is anyone that lazy that they sit down for a piss?

 

If I'm really tired/drunk and it's dark, yes.

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However, if I really need a piss and she's already on the loo, she refuses to let me piss between her legs and into the toilet. Which is why when we move house, we're going to get one with two toilets.

 

Selfish cow!

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Speaking of Japanese toilets, here is the one I had in my hotel there:

 

cimg0662.jpg

 

Rubbish picture, so cant make out (and cant remember) what the big square in the middle did. The built in bidet would eliminate all this talk of arse wiping standing up/sitting down, too.

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I regularly sit down to piss, but I'm a lazy fucker.

 

I can't understand the logic in wiping your arse standing up. As a hairy bumcracked gentlemen, for me it would squash all the shit against the hair, get all tangled and I'd probably have to wait for it to dry so I could cut it out with scissors or something.

 

My lady once walked into the bathroom while I was taking a dump and got her toothbrush out, I told her I was taking care of business but she didn't seem too bothered about the turd currently coming out of my anus and I actually had to order her out the room. She's a strange one.

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I tend to sit down for a piss if it's early morning or late night/during the night purely because the extractor fan in my bathroom is really loud and stays on for 45 minutes, so rather than turning the light on, setting it off, and then being unable to sleep, I piss in pitch darkness by reversing towards the lav and sitting. Also sometimes if I'm hungover.

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I can't understand the logic in wiping your arse standing up. As a hairy bumcracked gentlemen, for me it would squash all the shit against the hair, get all tangled and I'd probably have to wait for it to dry so I could cut it out with scissors or something.

 

I think when people are referring to 'standing up' they actually mean raising themselves up off the seat as opposed to actually standing straight up. Personally I get a load of toilet paper in my left hand, raise myself off the seat but still in a hunched/seated position to avoid cheek clenching, place my empty right hand on my right cheek & splay my cheeks a little...not a gape, just a little more encouragement to ensure a thorough wipe.

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I can't understand the logic in wiping your arse standing up. As a hairy bumcracked gentlemen, for me it would squash all the shit against the hair, get all tangled and I'd probably have to wait for it to dry so I could cut it out with scissors or something.

 

I think when people are referring to 'standing up' they actually mean raising themselves up off the seat as opposed to actually standing straight up. Personally I get a load of toilet paper in my left hand, raise myself off the seat but still in a hunched/seated position to avoid cheek clenching, place my empty right hand on my right cheek & splay my cheeks a little...not a gape, just a little more encouragement to ensure a thorough wipe.

 

This is my process, minus the parting of cheeks.

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