Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 I saw the thread title and figured it was a dull thread about someone's missus bending their ear for leaving the toilet seat up. A few hours later I noticed that the thread was five pages long already so I knew something out of the ordinary was going down and my curiosity got the better of me. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Fucking hell, Steve. Just what size and shape is your arse?? How the fuck can you possibly cut your arse up on a toilet seat, or find that the nine inch hole in the seat isn't wide enough to shit through? Explain yourself.
CurtainTwitcher Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 Regarding the OP. It's bad enough you'd sit on your own toilet without the seat up, but in a public toilet, thats just mental. Its' ALWAYS covered in piss and pubes, and no amount of wiping would convince me I'm not sitting in someones else efluvia. Rank. This. Just this.
Forrest Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) At small points throughout this thread, I feel sorry for Steve. Then, I remember he sits on the porcelain rim when doing a poo, and that he's an actual lunatic. Edited November 3, 2011 by Forrest
PepperPlunge Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I can imagine the cold being comforting in a 'cold side of the pillow' way but I wouldn't go there.. It must be much more uncomfortable than the seat. You're mad. I wipe sat down and then stood up if I have any doubts once I've stood up. Makes sense to wipe sitting down as your cheeks are apart. My workmate told me about how his mate shat in his house facing the cistern and then called his mates in to look at the stain that had been left and they were all trying to work out how it'd happened. Interesting read about the 'proper' way to shit. I hope my muscles don't loosen up anytime soon.
cobra_gordo Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I'd like to know how many people, after reading this thread, have gone and given Steve's seatless, masturbating toad stanced, front to back wiping,cistern facing poo style a try?
NEWM Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 I've just discovered and read this entire thread whilst having a shit, so quite honestly this dump was a bit ruined by considering the ludcrious and farcical behaviour Justice and NUFC 4 Life (actually, no shocker with that last one) get up to on the throne. My favourite things though, have been Woy's contributions. He's been king of this particular thread, all the while having the words "Dirt Baby" in bright letters underneath every post. Perfect.
Steve Justice Posted November 3, 2011 Author Posted November 3, 2011 Anyway, fuck you all still. To me you're all weird. Only girls have the seat down. Bummers! I felt the need to repeat.
Maytrix Posted November 3, 2011 Posted November 3, 2011 My body didn't know what was going on and I couldn't do it properly. And the seat actually digs into my arse bone rather than my skin. It's uncomfortable. You need to get a better bog seat then because it shouldn
Paid Members FLips Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 I hate how cold the seat is during the winter, but imagine the porcelain! No way.
Paid Members Arch Stanton Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 My mate told me that when he went to Tokyo he discovered that they have heated toilet seats in the hotels out there. He said it was horrible- as if someone else had just been on right before you.
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted November 3, 2011 Moderators Posted November 3, 2011 My mate told me that when he went to Tokyo he discovered that they have heated toilet seats in the hotels out there. He said it was horrible- as if someone else had just been on right before you. Ugh, I can't stomach that. It's like doing a poo while sat on someone's lap. Not quite so bad around Christmas time, mind.
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) Thing is, I can imagine that having a warm toilet seat to sit on in the middle of winter at 2am when you're in desperate need of a poo could be quite beneficial. As soon as your arse hits that cold seat, every muscle in your body tenses up and that poo is going to take a lot more effort than if you had a nice, relaxing warm seat. Edited November 3, 2011 by Gladstone Small
Paid Members air_raid Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 My mate told me that when he went to Tokyo he discovered that they have heated toilet seats in the hotels out there. He said it was horrible- as if someone else had just been on right before you. Some of the toilets in Tokyo have so many different buttons, options and settings it can actually be quicker sorting out your tactics and formation for a Champions League semi-final second leg on Football Manager, than setting up your imminent dump.
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 I bet Charlie Sheen has a heated toilet seat just like his now-deceased "character" in Two and a Half Men.
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Posted November 3, 2011 lol Khemical toilet lol
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