Steve Justice 807 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 It's fucking cold, and you're just that much closer to shit. Even worse here, as I swear a lot of bogs hang closer to the water mark. Â All the seat does is raise you half an inch above the water, and makes the hole you sit in an inch thinner in diameter. I need that extra inch diameter, and the plastic edge to not cut into my arse skin. Â Someone here has also confessed to doing neither. They hover. Leg muscles must be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Forrest 0 Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 May I suggest merging this with the low points thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Halitosis Romantic 4 Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Half an inch might as well be a mile in toilet physics. I'd rather hover, like a shivering, shitting dog. Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Devon Malcolm 13,468 Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 May I suggest merging this with the low points thread? Â Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'. Link to post Share on other sites
Steve Justice 807 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 ....you fucking creepy bastard. The porcelain rim is freezing cold, rock hard, flat, and in a work toilet means you could be sitting on all kinds of pubes, bum crust, shit and specks of piss.  The plastic seating is intentionally shaped for a human buttock.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations. Link to post Share on other sites
Moderators Astro Hollywood 3,409 Posted November 3, 2011 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 (edited) All the seat does is raise you half an inch above the water, and makes the hole you sit in an inch thinner in diameter. I need that extra inch diameter, and the plastic edge to not cut into my arse skin. Â So you're doing turds literally too big to fit through a toilet seat? "Gots to have that extra inch, or this three-footer ain't gonna fit!" Â You must have an anus like the tire of a landrover. Edited November 3, 2011 by Woyzeck Link to post Share on other sites
Doog 24 Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener Link to post Share on other sites
Steve Justice 807 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 May I suggest merging this with the low points thread? Â Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'. Â I think you need to re-read that post. I do the wiping that does not result in shitty balls. Link to post Share on other sites
Moderators Astro Hollywood 3,409 Posted November 3, 2011 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations. Â If only there were an invention to stop this, like some kind of, I dunno, seat on the toilet? Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Burchill's Buddy 0 Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations. Â If only there were an invention to stop this, like some kind of, I dunno, seat on the toilet? Beat me to it Link to post Share on other sites
Steve Justice 807 Posted November 3, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener  Sorry to bring you down to my level. Hold me.  Anyway, it's only cold for the briefest of brief seconds. Link to post Share on other sites
Paid Members Devon Malcolm 13,468 Posted November 3, 2011 Paid Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 May I suggest merging this with the low points thread? Â Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'. Â I think you need to re-read that post. I do the wiping that does not result in shitty balls. Â My bad. 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Worries About Shitty Balls'? Link to post Share on other sites
Moderators Chest Rockwell 7,357 Posted November 3, 2011 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 This is even stranger to me than when I found out some people wipe standing up. Â No, strike that. As strange. Â But it's that kind of level. Link to post Share on other sites
Moderators Astro Hollywood 3,409 Posted November 3, 2011 Moderators Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I've always been fascinated with the idea that somewhere in the world, there are probably people who sit on the toilet facing the wrong way, ie straddling it, and facing towards the cistern. Â If anyone wants to own up to this, having simply not known any better, now would probably be a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
Doog 24 Posted November 3, 2011 Report Share Posted November 3, 2011 I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener  Sorry to bring you down to my level. Hold me.  Anyway, it's only cold for the briefest of brief seconds.  Well at least we have someone to share the shame with, i'd hate to think about you going through it alone! Link to post Share on other sites
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