Men & The Toilet Seat

[Steve Justice 339]

It's fucking cold, and you're just that much closer to shit. Even worse here, as I swear a lot of bogs hang closer to the water mark.

 

All the seat does is raise you half an inch above the water, and makes the hole you sit in an inch thinner in diameter. I need that extra inch diameter, and the plastic edge to not cut into my arse skin.

 

Someone here has also confessed to doing neither. They hover. Leg muscles must be strong.

[Forrest 0]

May I suggest merging this with the low points thread?

[Halitosis Romantic 4]

Half an inch might as well be a mile in toilet physics. I'd rather hover, like a shivering, shitting dog.

[Devon Malcolm 7,829]

May I suggest merging this with the low points thread?

 

Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'.

[Steve Justice 339]

....you fucking creepy bastard.

 

The porcelain rim is freezing cold, rock hard, flat, and in a work toilet means you could be sitting on all kinds of pubes, bum crust, shit and specks of piss.

 

The plastic seating is intentionally shaped for a human buttock.

 

You should be ashamed of yourself.

 

Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations.

[Astro Hollywood 1,652]

All the seat does is raise you half an inch above the water, and makes the hole you sit in an inch thinner in diameter. I need that extra inch diameter, and the plastic edge to not cut into my arse skin.

 

So you're doing turds literally too big to fit through a toilet seat? "Gots to have that extra inch, or this three-footer ain't gonna fit!"

 

You must have an anus like the tire of a landrover.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Woyzeck

[Doog 16]

I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener

[Steve Justice 339]

May I suggest merging this with the low points thread?

 

Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'.

 

I think you need to re-read that post. I do the wiping that does not result in shitty balls.

[Astro Hollywood 1,652]

Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations.

 

If only there were an invention to stop this, like some kind of, I dunno, seat on the toilet?

[Burchill's Buddy 0]

Funnily enough, this is how the topic arose. I came back from the toilet and expressed my dislike for having to wipe up other peoples shit and pubes before I go make poopy. In extreme cases, I simply lay plys of toilet paper over the seat. This is mainly in airports and service stations.

 

If only there were an invention to stop this, like some kind of, I dunno, seat on the toilet?

Beat me to it

[Steve Justice 339]

I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener

 

Sorry to bring you down to my level. Hold me.

 

Anyway, it's only cold for the briefest of brief seconds.

[Devon Malcolm 7,829]

May I suggest merging this with the low points thread?

 

Yes. I'll get Ian to stick Steve in the Bound For Gory bracketing under 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Has Shitty Balls'.

 

I think you need to re-read that post. I do the wiping that does not result in shitty balls.

 

My bad. 'Rejects Toilet Seats And Worries About Shitty Balls'?

[Chest Rockwell 4,200]

This is even stranger to me than when I found out some people wipe standing up.

 

No, strike that. As strange.

 

But it's that kind of level.

[Astro Hollywood 1,652]

I've always been fascinated with the idea that somewhere in the world, there are probably people who sit on the toilet facing the wrong way, ie straddling it, and facing towards the cistern.

 

If anyone wants to own up to this, having simply not known any better, now would probably be a good time.

[Doog 16]

I must say I don't find it cold or anything. Like I say though, i've got used to doing it now so maybe we're just immune to it. Never really thought about how weird people might think it is before, this thread has actually been an eye opener

 

Sorry to bring you down to my level. Hold me.

 

Anyway, it's only cold for the briefest of brief seconds.

 

Well at least we have someone to share the shame with, i'd hate to think about you going through it alone!