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Favourite Simpsons Quotes

Family Guy PMSL

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"Up and Atom!"

"Up and At Them!"


"This mysterious Hindu is clearly responsible for the murder"

"Lock him up till we find someone darker, boys".


"Well, it's like this. I'm a proper Cockney flower girl, I am, and I sees this real strange bloke. Out of sorts, mad in the eyes, all kettles and biscuits. Well, he seen I was lookin' at him, and he drops this and runs. Cor, blimey, skip to me loo".


There's another one from Marge too, but I've no idea what episode, nor in what situation she said it. She was describing herself getting angry over something, and just strung about 5 words together to make a new phrase. When I try and remember it, my brain just throws up "quadraspaz on a lifeglug".

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"I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth" has been one of my favourites for years.




Just to blow my figurative load all over the thread before I go to sleep, the following are all from the subplot of a single perfectly cromulent episode. The subplot!




"Bart, if foodstuffs should touch the ground, said foodstuffs shall be turned over to the village idiot. Since I don't see him around, start shovelling."




"You said I wouldn't make any money. Well, I made a dollar while waiting for the bus."


"While you were out making that dollar, you lost forty dollars by not going to work. And the plant called and said that if you don't come in tomorrow, don't bother coming in Monday."


"Woohoo! Four day weekend!"




"Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?"


"Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all - the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odours - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called 'City Fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?'"


(the full version of a line that's already been posted)




"Een America, first you get da sugar. Den you get de money. Den you get de power. Den you get de weemen."




Marge: I want you to forget about guarding the stupid sugar! You're being completely paranoid.


Homer: Oh, am I? Am I really? Ah ha! (Pulls an Englishman out from behind the pile of sugar)


Englishman: (holding teacup and saucer) Hello.


Homer: All right, pal, where'd you get the sugar for that tea?


Englishman: I nicked it when you let your guard down for that split second, and I'd do it again. Goodbye.




"Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!"




Beekeeper 1: Well, sure is quiet in here today.

Beekeeper 2: Yes, a little too quiet, if you know what I mean.

Beekeeper 1: Hmm... I'm afraid I don't.

Beekeeper 2: You see, bees usually make a lot of noise. No noise suggests no bees.

Beekeeper 1: Oh, I understand now... Oh look, there goes one now.

Beekeeper 2: To the Beemobile!

Beekeeper 1: You mean your Chevy?

Beekeeper 2: ... ... Yes.





Fucking GENIUS.

Edited by HarmonicGenerator
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Homer (to the judge): I'm a good father! I love Bart AND Lisa!


Judge: And what about Margaret?


Homer: Who?


Marge (whispers): She means Maggie


Homer: Oh, Maggie. Meh I've got nothing against Maggie.

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