Paid Members hallicks Posted December 10, 2024 Paid Members Posted December 10, 2024 2 hours ago, deathrey said: I have tried that and not had much luck with it so far. Did your child also go to mainstream nursery? How did they cope? My son currently goes 3 days a week and loves it. On days he isn't at nursery he will run and grab his uniform from his wardrobe and ask to to go to nursery 'go see (nursery workers name)'. We are upping him to 4 days after Christmas but I'll keep trying for the specialist provision. For that and see if it's an option. I will say, the SALt worker has been brilliant with him and her saying that his needs aren't high enough was off the back of me asking off the record if I should be looking for mainstream or specialist provision for him. I wanted some professional input as I am scared of making a big mistake. I have a lot of experience with EHCPs from my job but it's at secondary level, primary is a whole new learning experience for me. She did both. She was fine in mainstream but you know how nursery is, they’re just tearing around and making a mess. She was pretty non-verbal back then and was just doing her own thing most of the time. I don’t envy you this decision. It was always obvious to us that she needed a specialist school because of her autism and GDD, and the nursery that’s part of the school she’s still at were brilliant at helping us. It’s only now we’re wondering if she could move on as she’s caught up a lot academically and they’re more about independence/life skills. I think she would struggle in a mainstream school now though, she’d be so isolated and she doesn’t have the social skills. Part of me wishes she could have done mainstream with 1:1 TA because she’d probably have some capacity for talking to other children, rather than asking their mum questions about them while they just stand there looking lost. But she just wasn’t ready back then. Sorry for rambling on. There’s no easy answer and it’s so tough.
Joe Blog Posted December 10, 2024 Posted December 10, 2024 5 hours ago, deathrey said: I have a lot of experience with EHCPs from my job but it's at secondary level, primary is a whole new learning experience for me. Happy to chat about this if you want. I have been in primary schools for 8 years now and have supported kids with SEN throughout, worked on lots of EHCP’s in that time.
deathrey Posted December 10, 2024 Posted December 10, 2024 (edited) 6 hours ago, Joe Blog said: Happy to chat about this if you want. I have been in primary schools for 8 years now and have supported kids with SEN throughout, worked on lots of EHCP’s in that time. Thank you so much, I may DM you once we've been to panel to get some advice. 8 hours ago, hallicks said: She did both. She was fine in mainstream but you know how nursery is, they’re just tearing around and making a mess. She was pretty non-verbal back then and was just doing her own thing most of the time. I don’t envy you this decision. It was always obvious to us that she needed a specialist school because of her autism and GDD, and the nursery that’s part of the school she’s still at were brilliant at helping us. It’s only now we’re wondering if she could move on as she’s caught up a lot academically and they’re more about independence/life skills. I think she would struggle in a mainstream school now though, she’d be so isolated and she doesn’t have the social skills. Part of me wishes she could have done mainstream with 1:1 TA because she’d probably have some capacity for talking to other children, rather than asking their mum questions about them while they just stand there looking lost. But she just wasn’t ready back then. Sorry for rambling on. There’s no easy answer and it’s so tough. No need to apologise, everyone's experiences are really helpful and it's certainly helped me to think through my options. I can absolutely see where you are coming from and just to look at things from another point of view (and because it's a worry of mine) maybe if you had put your daughter in to mainstream she may not have developed as well as she has, the time in specularity provision has given her an intensity of support she is unlikely to have gotten in mainstream. The school I think I am going to choose have said they have a boy very similar to my son at the moment who has progressed really well so they think they can support him. They have a speech therapist and play therapist at the school, and the school houses an autism specialist base (though entry for that is separate to the rest of the school) so they have 'experts' on site Edited December 10, 2024 by deathrey
Mr_Danger Posted December 11, 2024 Posted December 11, 2024 I hate my son’s school. We’ve been pulled for things as daft as my son having an arm wrestle with his friend at play time yet when a mother messaged them to say that my son and his friend were bullying her daughter they didn’t think to mention it because they weren’t actually bullying her or doing anything wrong yet she still told the boys that someone’s mum had messaged her to complain about them. The dinner ladies are like something out of a Roald Dahl book. The highlight being that one of them once screamed at a little girl “I control how you eat!” We’ve complained about them multiple times as my partner worked their for a bit and some of the things they’d say about and in front of the kids were borderline abusive, to the extent my partner quit over it as when she reported it she got told by the head dinner lady that she should go through her so she can sort it between themselves. The assistant head basically told us that they struggle to employ people to work an hour a day and that most of them are scared of them too. No one should feel empowered to scream and belittle children in front of other children, teachers and sometimes parents. Imagine what they’re like when no one is watching.
deathrey Posted December 12, 2024 Posted December 12, 2024 That sounds horrific. Someone should really be reporting those women and they should be no where near children
Mr_Danger Posted December 12, 2024 Posted December 12, 2024 2 hours ago, deathrey said: That sounds horrific. Someone should really be reporting those women and they should be no where near children We were reluctant to take him out of the school because his sister was there and she’s a type 1 diabetic so they had gone through the training and had a decent plan in place for her. That’s the other thing, the school were great with the diabetes and even when the dinner ladies would tell her she had to rush or she wouldn’t get to finish her food (she’s coeliac as well so food time is pretty sensitive) the teachers would actually take them to task over it. The teachers are mostly fine, they do a difficult job and I think they just don’t have the time and probably the energy to cater to the specific needs and differences to how boys play and learn because my daughters experience is completely different to my sons. We took him out to a smaller school and it was great but he didn’t cope with the change and was having panic attacks and missed his old friends too much so we reluctantly let him go back. My partner is working on setting up something where he can learn from home on a part time basis and the rest in school. It breaks my heart to see things that I recognise as depression and anxiety in my 7 year old son and school is everything at that age.
MungoChutney Posted December 12, 2024 Posted December 12, 2024 I remember being utterly gobsmacked one day I was in a meeting with a headteacher and deputy headteacher (now a head in another school) about a project they were involved with that I was working on. This was a school in an area of multiple deprivation and they were dealing with multigenerational trauma every day, lots of DV reports and stuff too. Yet these time-served, brilliant educators were both terrified because they had forgotten to tell the dinner school lead that they needed packed lunches for a trip and hadn't given the requisite 28 days notice.
Paid Members wandshogun09 Posted December 22, 2024 Paid Members Posted December 22, 2024 Was round my mum’s earlier, she’d been having a clear out and came across a box with some of my old WWF Hasbros in it. For one, I wasn’t prepared for the headfuck of how weird holding a Hasbro in your adult hand feels if you haven’t held one since you were a kid. They feel tiny. Also, my son was picking them up and asking me their names and he’d repeat them. Apparently, Shawn Michaels used to team with a guy named Marty Spaghetti.
Mr_Danger Posted December 22, 2024 Posted December 22, 2024 The good lady Danger was talking to a former teaching assistant at our lads school who brought more troubling things to light regarding the dinner ladies. (I should stress they’re not the actual cooks but the playtime assistants). Apparently she made one of them cry when she insisted the child she was doing one to one time with was allowed on the park. The dinner lady didn’t like the way she was being spoken to. Fucking lol! This is the same lady who told my daughter’s friend that “She controls how she eats!” because she likes to dip her flapjack in her gravy. Yeah, future ‘Keffer right there. Anyway, we were pretty horrified but not surprised to hear one of them referred to a little girl as “That one who looks like a boy.” We’ve used the contact information given to us by the ex teaching assistant to go above the school and grass them all up. Pretty sure the lad will be off to another school before long but leaving him and other children in the care of these few monsters who are enabled by everyone else doesn’t sit right. At least we can say we tried.
Paid Members Surf Digby Posted December 25, 2024 Paid Members Posted December 25, 2024 The face of a child that's been successfully Rick Rolled through the medium of a booby trapped advent calendar.
Paid Members wandshogun09 Posted February 25, 2025 Paid Members Posted February 25, 2025 (edited) My daughter had a friend over on Saturday and when her parents dropped her off at ours the kids immediately scurried off into the kitchen and me and Mrs Wand could overhear them hyping each other up and complimenting each other’s hair and nails and stuff. Quite sweet but also amusing because they’re 11 ? anyway, the friend says to my daughter “your face card doesn’t decline” and I must admit, lovely as the kid is, I cringed. I was told by my 17 year old niece who was also there that it’s internet speak and means you have a pretty face. Just say that then. “Face card doesn’t decline”. One for the minor annoyance thread for me that. Especially because my “face card” is saying insufficient funds. Edited February 25, 2025 by wandshogun09
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted March 9, 2025 Paid Members Posted March 9, 2025 My 17yo is now an 18yo, meaning that I have an adult child despite having a mental age of around 14. He doesn't normally have stars stuck to his face but he had had a couple of vodka and cokes.
DavidB6937 Posted March 10, 2025 Posted March 10, 2025 Happy late birthday! My eldest is coming up to 10 and I can't even cope with that.
deathrey Posted March 10, 2025 Posted March 10, 2025 (edited) Happy birthday to Dev Junior! Edited March 10, 2025 by deathrey
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