Tiny Triumphs

[SuperBacon]

On 5/1/2026 at 9:40 PM, SuperBacon said:

In Tesco the other day an old biddy with a massive trolley load turned out of an aisle towards the only free check out, and I quickened my pace and overtook her to beat her to the spot.

Do one Joan.

Just won again in Tesco. A mouthy couple, shouting at each other queueing up for the only open till (self service was heaving) with a huge trolley full.

I walk up with my basket and they leave the line to go to another till they think is opening. It's not, the cashier was just getting her coat, and they have to come back to my till and wait behind me. If it had been an old person or anyone else, I'd have probably asked if they'd like the spot back, but they were being dicks so sod them.

And I got two packs of reduced donuts.

[Glenryck Pilchards]

Whenever I go to a drive thru and the lane splits in two to order, I always make it my mission to rattle off my order off as quickly as possible to overtake the car that was in front of me.

Out of 12 visits I have been successful 9 times (5 McDonald's visits, 2 Popeye's, 1 Five Guys, 1 Tim Horton's)

[RIDDUM_N_STYLE]

Work related win, so on Monday I got news dropped on me that I was getting removed from the section on the shop floor I’ve worked on for the past 7 years, because of a couple of staff leaving and the needs of the store to have experienced staff on a profitable area, which was fine and totally understandable but out of my comfort zone a bit

Gets to tonight, 45 mins before my shift ended, the closing manager pulls me aside to tell me that the change isn’t working as well as they hoped (mainly because my replacement finishes at 3pm meaning no cover going into the evening) so she’s requested in the manager chat, which two of our other managers agree with, that they switch it back so they can have me back on denim and get it back looking more presentable than it has been all week which could happen as early as Monday

[Tamura]

Getting a 12 pack of crisps for roughly half price as it's a new product line and they haven't sorted the barcode details out yet so the supervisor just said to put it through as a 6 pack.

[BomberPat]

51 minutes ago, Tamura said:

Getting a 12 pack of crisps for roughly half price as it's a new product line and they haven't sorted the barcode details out yet so the supervisor just said to put it through as a 6 pack.

One of my drinks of choice towards the end of the night used to be Stone's Ginger Wine with lemonade, and the first time I ordered one from the landlord at my old local, he knew exactly where the bottle was, poured it and served it up quick as flash, then spent ages staring at the till. Nobody ever bought it, and he had no idea how much it cost, or where to find it on his till system. Eventually he just looked up and said, "call it a pound, Pat". This was well into the 2010s, so it definitely cost more than a pound.

[John Matrix]

I’m not sure if I ever posted this here, but I vandalised Johnny Lawrence’s car whilst he was in Mexico.

[Jazzy G]

1 hour ago, Tamura said:

Getting a 12 pack of crisps for roughly half price as it's a new product line and they haven't sorted the barcode details out yet so the supervisor just said to put it through as a 6 pack.

Aldi do a "10 pack" of their Monster Munch knockoffs for half the price of a 6 pack of actual Monster Munch. I don't think I've ever had fewer than 13 packs out of one either. 

 

@BomberPat I used to do the same at my Mum's. There was one chap who'd order a whisky mac and I would have no idea what to put it through as, especially when we had to get a new till that didn't have an "open amount" setting. 

Edited July 14 by Jazzy G

[DavidB6937]

When you get a bag of crisps and they've accidentally put a ton of extra flavouring in it. 

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

1 hour ago, DavidB6937 said:

When you get a bag of crisps and they've accidentally put a ton of extra flavouring in it. 

I had a pack of Wotsits once and there was one wotsit that was completely caked in the wotsit dust. It was over twice the size of a normal wotsit. It was incredibly dry in the mouth but the intensity of the cheese hit was incredible. 

[SuperBacon]

8 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

I had a pack of Wotsits once and there was one wotsit that was completely caked in the wotsit dust. It was over twice the size of a normal wotsit. It was incredibly dry in the mouth but the intensity of the cheese hit was incredible. 

I had a pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos recently and there was what I can only describe as a mega Dorito. About 5 or 6 of them had compacted against each other to form the thickest crisp I've ever seen. The crunch was 11/10, sounded like a bomb.

I also love it when you randomly get a different flavoured crisp in a packet, like a prison escapee.

[ReturnOfTheMack]

When I was a student one of my housemates worked in a crisps factory and accepted a tenner to eat a full crisp bag of the prawn cocktail flavouring. 

He hated it. But a tenners a tenner.

[gmoney]

I'd do that for free. 

[Jazzy G]

3 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

I had a pack of Chilli Heatwave Doritos recently and there was what I can only describe as a mega Dorito. About 5 or 6 of them had compacted against each other to form the thickest crisp I've ever seen. The crunch was 11/10, sounded like a bomb.

I also love it when you randomly get a different flavoured crisp in a packet, like a prison escapee.

Those Takis crisps are notorious for there being shed loads of flavouring on the bottom. I got some of the "blue fire" ones, and managed to get some in my eye. It was far from pleasant. 

[BomberPat]

21 hours ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

When I was a student one of my housemates worked in a crisps factory and accepted a tenner to eat a full crisp bag of the prawn cocktail flavouring. 

He hated it. But a tenners a tenner.

When I was about 16 into my early 20s a bunch of my mates used to hang out in this coffee shop, and we got to know the owner and most of the people who worked there pretty well, and a few of us ended up doing the odd bit of work there ourselves.

One day, we were sat in there, and my mate looks over to the food fridge. There's a little sign on one shelf that says "Try Me As A Smoothie!", that's supposed to sit alongside fruit salads, but the food's been moved around, so that's not what's on that shelf any more. He catches the owner's eye and says, "alright Dave, I didn't realise you'd started selling Breakfast Burrito smoothies".

Dave looks to the shelf, looks to my mate, back to the shelf, back to my mate, but now he has a massive smirk on his face. He says, "if you'll drink it, you can have free coffee for a month".

So he ends up sticking this massive burrito - sausage, bacon, cheese, scrambled egg, tomato, coriander, whatever else might be in there - in a blender with a load of milk, serves it up in a pint glass, and my mate necks it in one. They high-five, and then my mate immediately disappears to the toilet and doesn't come back for about ten minutes.

Edited July 15 by BomberPat

[Ironic Indie Lad]

Reminds me of a Mexican food place in Glasgow called Taco Mazama that I used to frequent for lunch when I lived there.

About 10 years ago or so they used to do an eating challenge with what they called "The Conquistador". It was basically the large burrito x 3. 3 massive tortilla wraps with 3 portions of meat, 3 portions of rice, 3 portions of beans plus salad, guacamole, cheese and salsa. It looked ridiculous. If you dropped it on the floor it would probably have smashed the tiles.

I knew various quite large men who had tried it and been completely destroyed by it. A big 6'8 kick boxer came close, huge rugby player came close, various gym bro's who thought they could put away a lot of food gave it their best go. Many had tried and they all fucking failed.

Then one day my friends flatmate heard about it while hungover. Quite a small man who's only exercise was drinking, smoking and sniffing coke. I distinctly remember he phoned ahead and told them to get it ready. When they asked his name he confidently said "just put 'The Big Man....you'll recognise me when I walk in." We went along with him to watch him surely fail in spectacular fashion. We walked in and the guy working said "You must be the big man!" and pointed to the aforementioned giant kickboxer. Amusingly, the other guy peeked out from behind him to say "that would be me".

Anyway, somehow he wolfed the entire thing down and it didn't even seem that difficult to him. He actually seemed to really enjoy it until the last few bites.

It did catch up with him soon after though. He went a very funny colour and he said that he felt like he was completely full of food from his anus right up to the back of his throat. I can only assume the toilet trip a while later was a horror show.