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Posted

I know he gets a lot of shit but Heymans line "Hey John, on a personal note from all of us just to you, since you wanna shoot cowboy, the only reason you were WWE champion for a year is because Triple H didn't wanna work Tuesdays" at One Night Stand always gets a pop from me.

Mostly because it's a great line, but more importantly I absolutely detest JBL, and you can tell he's absolutely rattled big time despite his protests to the contrary.

I bet he thinks about it hourly, the massive prick. 

Posted

Not a funny one but Mark Henry throwing CM Punk back into the corner and yelling "You move when I tell you to move!" was the peak of the Hall of Pain character for me.

CM Punk "I don't want your jet, I want my own jet. Your jet SMELLS" to Vince was so juvenile I loved it.
 

Posted

Some little throwaway lines stick with me too.

There was a hardcore match between Al Snow (Though might have been Hardcore Holly) and The Big Boss Man and it went outside. Bossman grabs the head of Snow, and in his southern drawl says "Private Property, No Tresspassin'" and slams his head against a sign.

No idea why, but the delivery and execution always amused me.

  • Paid Members
Posted

A lyric, and two lines rather than one, but:

"We don't like heavy metal, we don't like rock 'n' roll,

All we like to listen to is BARRY MANILOW"

- The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, All-American Boys 

  • Paid Members
Posted

a great one from Mark Henry during the Hall of Pain run was, while beating someone up, shouting "IF I TAX YOU FOR AIR, YOU KEEP YOUR BILLS PAID"

Posted (edited)

Amazing he's not come up yet, but prime Jim Cornette had some absolute killer lines. I'm just going to post this specific promo where he's apoplectic about being in a shark cage in a straight jacket for the Bash '88. He goes through every emotion under the sun in three minutes ending in almost tears telling Bobby Eaton with complete kayfabe sincerity 'I just hope I don't get hurt Bobby. You know I love you.'

About a dozen great one liners in this. He's on incredible form here.

 

Edited by Chili
  • Paid Members
Posted

Cornette has the thing that Jerry Lawler had where he's clearly memorised a 1950s joke book, but he makes it sound a lot more natural, whereas even at it's best it was always obvious when Lawler was cuing up a gag line. 

Posted
1 hour ago, BomberPat said:

Cornette has the thing that Jerry Lawler had where he's clearly memorised a 1950s joke book, but he makes it sound a lot more natural, whereas even at it's best it was always obvious when Lawler was cuing up a gag line. 

He's the only person I've heard so far to drop Jethro Tull lyrics into Wrestlemania promos. It's a shame he has opinions because as a performer he was sublime when in his element.

  • Paid Members
Posted

Cornette's the best talker I've ever heard in wrestling. He just doesn't miss a beat at all. He made you laugh at him rather than with him, something that 99% of heel comedy promos have missed since.

  • Paid Members
Posted
21 hours ago, WrestlingForFun said:

 

CM Punk "I don't want your jet, I want my own jet. Your jet SMELLS" to Vince was so juvenile I loved it.
 

CM Punk is really good at one-liners, I find. 

One that always sticks out to me is during that WWE Backstage show, when he cut a promo on some celebrity and used the line 'you think you can take me? You couldn't take me bowling!' which I thought was a great little phrase.

  • Paid Members
Posted

It's from a film (Repossessed) but it's in their characters, so I guess it count...

Gene Okerlund: "Pro wrestlers don't take steroids anymore!"

Jesse Ventura: "Or any less."

  • Paid Members
Posted
2 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Cornette's the best talker I've ever heard in wrestling. He just doesn't miss a beat at all. He made you laugh at him rather than with him, something that 99% of heel comedy promos have missed since.

His rants are ridiculously good, speaking at such a speed and pitch and rarely ever stumbling over his words. Especially when he's be selling upset or injustice too. His delivery was superb. 

In some ways, it was a pity there wasn't a job on commentary for someone as quick and experienced as him but, in other ways it was a blessing given he got himself "cancelled" on a show about 7 people watched.

  • Paid Members
Posted

Long before I knew it was a lyric, Dusty's "I offered up my innocence to her, she paid me back in scorn. Now only America can give me shelter from the storm." was one of the best things I ever heard on the wrestling. Dusty is incredible in that angle.

image.png.f446e5c7e54cc0c00683ed5fce5ebdf8.png

Also, for sheer comedy value, Hacksaw stomping into shot to deliver "We're all still looking for her!" and stomping off is great.

image.png.dd1856112efafa46bad0ac76e8f4deee.png

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