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Posted (edited)

Something I love about Bobby Heenan is watching or listening to him beyond the 10 or so really famous lines everyone mentions.

Survivor Series '93 during the Hart's match is Heenan just on phenomenal form. It's a great last hurrah, my personal favourite is after the match and they cut to Helen Hart looking sad and Bobby goes "Wahhh, they're gonna reposses my teeth". Absolutely floors me.

Edited by Chili
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Posted

This really could just be the Bobby Heenan thread. I genuinely think he could’ve been a massive TV name outside of wrestling, he was kind of too good for wrestling but I’m glad wrestling had him.

Not really a ‘one liner’ but one of my favourite, lesser known Heenan bits was on a Coliseum Video match. Something like…

Gorilla: This guy’s ambidextrous, Brain.

Heenan: What?

Gorilla: It means he can use his left or right hand and be equally effective.

Heenan: Chickens are ambidextrous.

Gorilla: What are you talking about?

Heenan: They are. You can eat ‘em on both sides.

Gorilla: WILL YOU STOP?!

So silly but I love it. Can’t even remember which tape or which match it’s from but I remember that exchange. And that sums Bobby (and Gorilla) up in a way. It almost didn’t matter what the match was a lot of the time. To this day I could stick pretty much any show on with those two on commentary and it’ll be entertaining even if the in-ring stuff is wank, just for the soundtrack those two provided.

There was also a bit during Doink’s TV debut match when Doink does some impressive looking move and Heenan goes “These aren’t your typical clown moves.” Like there are ‘typical’ clown moves or moves you would class as synonymous with clowns.

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

"If you put the letter S in front of Hitman you've had my exact opinion of Bret Hart" always pops me.

Shitman! It's so childish and funny.

bkDiR.gif

“I ain’t no sexy boy. I don’t dance son”. 

Posted

British Bulldog winning the 'Rumble because he's bizarre. 

Everything about it is just perfect. Lovable, naive, nonsensical and also making a perfect sort of wonky wrestling sense. 

One of those lines that makes me smile to even think about it, whose sheer absurdity keeps me holding on to this fucked up interest. 

Posted (edited)

Another really great Heenan line that catches me is after Hak/Bam Bam Bigelow at Spring Stampede, Tony Schiavone does the whole legit "please kids, don't attempt this in your backyard" and Heenan just chimes in with

"Try it in your living room, it's way more fun!" 

Edited by Chili
Posted

It's not really a one-liner, as many of these aren't, because it has a setup, but Earthquake amused Gorilla Monsoon at the Royal Albert Hall with "Mean Gene, do you know how long of a boat ride it is from US to here? Really far... that's why we took the plane!".

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Posted
5 hours ago, DazzM said:

Johnny Polo 

Now we’re talking underrated. My favourite was when, apropos of nothing, he randomly said “I could beat Lord Alfred Hays in a steel cage match.” Daft as a brush.

Posted
1 hour ago, davertfnewman said:

Johnny Polo: "How did you do at boxing?"
Gorilla: "I used to eat guys like you for breakfast."
Johnny: "Yeah, but how did you do at boxing?"

I'm ridiculously fond of the Johnny Polo/Gorilla combo. Apparently Raven wasn't really keen looking back on it for whatever reason and turned down being interviewed for Brian Solomon's book about Gorilla that just came out.

But they're delightful, it's the last time you ever hear Monsoon motivated, even if it's studio recorded Coliseum Video stuff, it's like he has a younger, more irritating Heenan-esq foil turn up to almost haunt him for chucking out the Brain. They even did remote skits together on All-American Wrestling. 

 

Posted
3 hours ago, Chili said:

Another really great Heenan line that catches me is after Hak/Bam Bam Bigelow at Spring Stampede, Tony Schiavone does the whole legit "please kids, don't attempt this in your backyard" and Heenan just chimes in with

"Try it in your living room, it's way more fun!" 

Another Bobby one from Spring Stampede about Mikey Whipwreck.

Bobby 'You reckon when he was a kid, Mikey was his parents little whippersnapper?'
Tony Schiavone "Weren't we all?'
Bobby "No, I didn't know his parents". 

Posted

Whipwreck loved him and was willing to let Bobby do whatever. He had such a good take on his character on an interview that's out there: "You knew he was shady but he couldn't get away with it and DEFINITELY not with Gorilla."

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