Snitsky's back acne Posted February 5 Posted February 5 2 hours ago, air_raid said: Now we’re talking underrated. My favourite was when, apropos of nothing, he randomly said “I could beat Lord Alfred Hays in a steel cage match.” Daft as a brush. His butchering of Todd Pettengill's name was gold too. "Tom Petting Zoo" "Toad Petty Poop". Just brilliant, and delivered in a delightfully perky and mischievous manner. I'm sure that Scott Levy has said that the Raven and Stevie pairing in ECW was the two sides of his personality made manifest - Stevie was the naive, goofball putz who could do, and say, the funny, silly things he wanted to express whilst Raven was obviously the egotistical, antisocial, tortured soul that Levy was becoming at that time due to his drug addiction. Anyway, back to the one liners. Quote
Paid Members air_raid Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Austin used to come out with some belters. ”You want to axe me a question? Son, an axe is what you use to chop down trees, and Stone Cold don’t own one. What?” ”What exactly is a Nature Boy? Do you like nature? Do you like boys? …Don’t answer that.” Quote
sivy Posted February 6 Posted February 6 After Jamison got saved by Duggan on prime time, Heenan gets a phone call "I'm got some bad news for everyone, Jamison is alive" Quote
SaitoRyo Posted February 6 Posted February 6 It was referenced earlier in the thread, but that CM Punk/Steve Austin backstage segment on Raw in 2011 gave us a real good one: Punk: "I came here to give you a breathalyser, Steve. You're running the show, drinking beers - can you say the alphabet backwards?" SCSA: "Well I can whip your ass backwards..." Quote
Paid Members Chris B Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Again, it's Bobby Heenan - during the junkyard battle royal, and this just absolutely threw me. "Junkyards are dangerous! Have you ever been in a junkyard, Schiavone?" "Yes I have, Brain. Have you?" "No. What the hell were you doing in a junkyard?" Quote
Paid Members LaGoosh Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 (edited) I think Austin probably has the best comic delivery of any wrestler for my money. The segment where he's passively aggressively bullying Spike Dudley and Molly into signing a petition to stop Benoit and Jericho getting title shots is just one of the funniest thing you can watch. Especially this exchange - Austin: just sign right here and get your little bimbo girlfriend to sign next. Spike: What did you call her? Austin: Molly, she's a bimbo. Ain't ya' heard? Spke: You can't talk to her like that! Austin: I can talk to her anyway I want, I'm Stone Cold Steve Austin! Then in the follow up segment the next week where Spike asks for a title shot and Austin goes "WELL YOU AIN'T GETTIN' NO TITLE A SHOT, YA LITTLE BASTARD!" has me howling with laughter. Yes, I know none of the above are one-liners. Edited February 6 by LaGoosh Quote
Paid Members Bus Surfer Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Ernest Miller: Chris Kanyon I tell you what... When i get my hands on ya, Im'ma eat yo ass like a pot a collard greens baby" Quote
Paid Members JNLister Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Virgil in 1992: "The Royal Rumble will feature 29 great wrestlers and myself." Quote
Paid Members Carbomb Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 (edited) I wish I could find the "Best zingers" thread from a few years ago - there was a lot of great stuff in there. Heenan is without doubt the absolute best, but Lawler wasn't too far behind. "If Kozlov wants a friend, he's gonna have to buy a dog." "Santino's the kinda guy for who God gave us a middle finger." On Yokozuna: "He's got an ass like an amphitheatre." Honorary mention of Heenan's line about Virgil in the Rumble. Edited February 6 by Carbomb Michael Owen Quote
Paid Members gmoney Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 2 minutes ago, Carbomb said: Surprised Heenan's line about Virgil in the Rumble hasn't been mentioned. Why not just mention it then? Quote
Paid Members Carbomb Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Oh, for- "Virgil entered at what, 23? I mean, who knows how many bags he's been through in the back?" Quote
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted February 6 Paid Members Posted February 6 Wasn't worth it in the end. Quote
The Reverend Posted February 6 Posted February 6 I'll have to find the match to get the exact speech - but this is close enough. But it's a Rick Rude squash around 88/89. Rude's done his 'Outta shape sweat hog' line, has taken his robe off and his gyrating his waist. Ventura: You hear that Gorilla - the women love you him, you can them screaming Gorilla: How do you know that's a female, could be a man Ventura: Course it's not a man - Patterson isn't in tonight. Would've gone over the heads of so many at the time! Quote
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