25/26 Football thread DEAD, USE A NEW ONE

[air_raid]

Mousa and Moussa were very different Dembeli.

My favourite footy name lore was when Kerry Mayo had the misfortune to fall in love with and marry a girl called Kerry, prompting the home fans to chant “There’s only two Kerry Mayos.”

[Carbomb]

51 minutes ago, air_raid said:

Spurs tried to replace Kyle Walker with Kyle Walker-Peters and hoped nobody would notice. But they did.

Whose somewhat impressive debut lead to Spurs fans saying they were looking forward to upcoming Spurs academy graduate Lionel Messi-Peters

[TheHighlightReel]

West Ham fans successfully protested against signing El Hadji Diouf and some 15 years later ended up with El Hadji Mallick Diouf.

[Glenryck Pilchards]

11 hours ago, Arch Stanton said:

Would feel even more odd if there were any teams from the North East in a European final.

Ahem...

 

Speaking of Middlesbrough, Southampton have absolutely shot themselves in the foot by sending a data analyst to the Boro's training ground to do a Bielsa. 

Apparently, this guy was standing on a hill on the adjacent golf course (which is owned by Steve Gibson) and had professional surveillance equipment listening into the first team training session. He was approached by the MFC security team and the lad ran off into the golf course clubhouse and changed his appearance before driving off. The MFC security team looked at the CCTV footage of the gentleman and identified him as one of Southampton's data analysis team. 

The Saints have been charged, and it doesn't look like they have a leg to stand on. Knowing Steve Gibson, he will be like a rottweiler to a butcher's shop with its door ajar. Just ask Derby County and Mel Morris what an absolute bastard he is when he has a bee in his bonnet. 

[SuperBacon]

11 minutes ago, Glenryck Pilchards said:

and had professional surveillance equipment listening into the first team training session. He was approached by the MFC security team and the lad ran off into the golf course clubhouse and changed his appearance before driving off

It's a fantastic story, but this is my absolute favourite bit. If he ran off when confronted how do they know he had "professional surveillance equipment" 😆😆😆 it's a brilliant farce.

Saints are fucked here though I reckon. EFL will make an example of them I think and try and get it sorted by the second leg. I think to avoid a messy situation, they'll hope Boro go through.

This is inspired though. 

[air_raid]

I can’t read that without my brain going to “terrace chants based off pop songs” and remembering the Odemwingie one.

🎶 ”I just drove here

and this is crazy,

I’m in your car park 

so sign me, maybe” 🎵 

Not all that long after Call Me Maybe was charting. Probably a far too fond memory for me because West Brom’s next game was home to Spurs, which I went to. Chants of “Odemwingie, he knew you were shit” gave way to “Odemwingie, he would have scored that” when they missed chances and eventually some gallows humour when with Defoe limping off and Adebayor at the AFCON we had to bring another midfielder on and play without a 9… “Odemwingie, we should have signed you.”

[Mr_Danger]

There’s only one place my head goes when I hear they hired someone to gather information whilst disguised….

[Scratch]

On 5/8/2026 at 12:21 PM, tiger_rick said:

Dunno if anyone has been following this story but ITV were due to screen a documentary following Maldon and Tiptree FC's promotion last season which was shelved yesterday amidst "police activity" at their ground.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c202d8xr1jdo

Today's update is grim.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4g09pdx82go

In UKFF related content, the doco was called "Up the Jammers". "Jammer" is apparently having a shit and a wank at the same time! 

I turned down a DJ gig with them last week, and now even more glad I did.

[westlondonmist]

Great win today, Rangers spent about £40m this season and guaranteed third and if Dunfermline win the final they have to play 6 games just to get conference league. 

[SuperBacon]

[Cousin Jim Bob]

Arsenal being saved by VAR over a foul on a goalkeeper from a corner, really is taking the piss. They have spent the whole season treating everyone of theirs like it's an MMA fight.

[RedTwoster]

Fucking Rangers. The one time I actually want you to win, you arse it up. Here’s hoping that Motherwell can at least take a point from them. I still think that Celtic will win the league but I’m hoping to goodness that I’m wrong. 

[thevestofdeanambrose]

1 hour ago, Cousin Jim Bob said:

Arsenal being saved by VAR over a foul on a goalkeeper from a corner, really is taking the piss. They have spent the whole season treating everyone of theirs like it's an MMA fight.

Clearly a foul. We may cause chaos in the box but show me where we have been given a goal from holding the keepers arm.

We tried that against Leicester a few years back and it was rightly disallowed.

[SuperBacon]

15 minutes ago, thevestofdeanambrose said:

Clearly a foul. We may cause chaos in the box but show me where we have been given a goal from holding the keepers arm.

I honestly don't think you want to ask for examples where Arsenal have been given goals that probably shouldn't have stood. Yes it's absolutely a foul today, and you might not have had a goal where you held a keepers arm like, but come on now.

And this isn't a tin foil hat thing, it's not a "they get all the decisions!" thing as that's for absolute fannys, and to be honest it's not even Arsenals fault. The officiating in the Premier League has never ever been lower, with so little consistency across the season, it's unreal. I'm not convinced that decision today in other games doesn't get reversed. That's all on the refs.

But come on now, there have absolutely been instances where you've benefited, and probably some where you haven't.

Anyway, what an achievement for Daniel Farke and his boys to keep Leeds up, when at one point his job looked gone. I for one hope they celebrate tonight with some drink and drugs. I'll even pay for a round.

[Rossman]

On 5/9/2026 at 7:40 AM, Ralphy said:

Fond memories of the Odemwingie Saga, as a WBA fan, i found it hilarious , the transfer window isn't quite the same as without Harry Redknapp being interviewed from his Range Rover 

I wanted Saints to go up, due to the incredible run they went on to get to the playoffs and i was looking forward to todays game on tv, to see two sides really go at it, but now, i still look forward to it, but only for the inevitable terrace trolling! 

Have a listen to Odemwingie on Undr The Cosh podcast. Basically spends 40 minutes explaining the whole situation. Dodgy agents, scrupulous sporting directors, (Dan Ashworth getting a Nigerian slap) Roy Hodgson getting involved, (when he was England manager) WB's toxic dressing room.