25/26 Football thread DEAD, USE A NEW ONE

[Tim Healys Chutney Spoon]

Just read about Robbie Keane winning his 4th trophy as a manager...another one for the Spursy Spreadsheet 

[hallicks]

Didn’t that kind of stop when Spurs, you know, won a trophy? 

[SuperBacon]

46 minutes ago, Tim Healys Chutney Spoon said:

Just read about Robbie Keane winning his 4th trophy as a manager...another one for the Spursy Spreadsheet 

Managers never counted. Stop getting my spreadsheet wrong.

37 minutes ago, hallicks said:

Didn’t that kind of stop when Spurs, you know, won a trophy? 

You're correct. The criteria was players who'd left Spurs and won something since Spurs last won something, and that stopped in May. I only started it when it started to get to 15 years ish.

I suppose that is a reset, and in news that will thrill only Frankie, I think Brennan Johnson could become the first addition to a new spreadsheet if I was to start anew.

[Tim Healys Chutney Spoon]

40 minutes ago, hallicks said:

Didn’t that kind of stop when Spurs, you know, won a trophy? 

One trophy does not a change make, IMO. 

 

Anyway it's good to see him getting some trophies now. There was talk of him coming in after Tudor, but i think it would be too early in his career for a job like this, despite him knowing the club

[SuperBacon]

20 minutes ago, Tim Healys Chutney Spoon said:

One trophy does not a change make, IMO

Right, but the whole point and why I started it was because we hadn't won a trophy in ages, that was the whole fun of it. We won a trophy last May so it now doesn't work. If Spurs go another 17 years without a cup, maybe it will.

20 minutes ago, Tim Healys Chutney Spoon said:

Anyway it's good to see him getting some trophies now. There was talk of him coming in after Tudor, but i think it would be too early in his career for a job like this, despite him knowing the club

Fuck him. Anyone happy enough to take the Macabbi job can piss off in my opinion. 

[air_raid]

On 5/9/2026 at 7:40 AM, Ralphy said:

the transfer window isn't quite the same as without Harry Redknapp being interviewed from his Range Rover 

Redknapp is an amazing character. There’s a player, I think it was Yaya Toure, that he categorically denied being in the market for during the window in question, then long long thereafter as a pundit was asked what a great signing he’d been for his club, replied immediately with “Yeah, we tried to sign him at Spurs.” Probably normal for managers to publicly deny interest to avoid allegations of contract tampering but because it’s Arry, it was hilarious.

His deals were amazing, signing Niko Kranjcar for £2m but selling Portsmouth Kevin-Prince Boateng who’d been crap for us for £4m - essentially selling a surplus player for Kranjcar plus cash, with lovely Niko being instrumental in covering for crocked Modric and scoring a few vital goals in the first season we qualified for the Champions League. Already, the majority of the cost of buying back Defoe was writing off what they still owed us for him (and also Pedro Mendes, IIRC) - probably nothing to do with Redknapp personally but I still imagine him putting the terms in a brown paper bag, throwing in a pound of sausage meat and a dozen slices of bacon for free and spinning it twice with a “There you go me darlin, what have we got next, Jamie?” I’ll never forget getting my mug on telly before the Newcastle game right after he got away with it (cough) was cleared of his tax evasion, and ESPN were asking about his being linked to the England job. I said he wouldn’t get to use “transfer window magic” because the phrase I was thinking, “dodgy deals and brown envelopes,” would not have made air. He’s got to be the only manager who ever fielded a player that made their nations World Cup squad but was signed for half a curly wurly and a packet of Love Hearts.

One of my mates lives Bournemouth way and he often sees (or at the very least used to talk about often seeing) Jamie, Louise and Harry all regularly out and about doing their bits and bobs. Apparently neither he nor his Mrs (who has learned to identify a Redknapp upon sight despite not following football) have ever set foot in the Post Office without seeing Harry in there posting numerous parcels. Either his trips to the Post Office astonishingly coincide with those of Dave and Elise ex of the West Midlands, or he must be in the Post Office a hell of a lot, with untold numbers of mystery parcels to mail. Gentle readers, insert your own theories, they will be funnier than anything I could come up with.

8 hours ago, Tim Healys Chutney Spoon said:

Just read about Robbie Keane winning his 4th trophy as a manager...another one for the Spursy Spreadsheet 

7 hours ago, Tim Healys Chutney Spoon said:

One trophy does not a change make, IMO. 

If you missed the point of the “players that left Spurs then won trophies before Spurs did” spreadsheet during a drought that lasted 17 years and think the joke still works less that 12 months after Spurs won a trophy, then you’re a fucking moron.

IMO.

[Tennessee Moltisanti]

Arsenal have had 0 pens given against them and 0 red cards this season?

PGMOL need to be a bit less obvious with their booking. 

[Mr_Danger]

Arsenal have become the masters of the unseen foul. An even greater feat in the age of VAR. Always wound me up when the nation was up in arms over Johnny Foreigner (and Stevie) would go down cheaply/dive but Stoke would beat and molest opposition players and be applauded. It’s well British. In my opinion both should be accepted as part of the game. 

[tiger_rick]

So much whataboutism these days. VAR favours every team, apparently. Boring discourse. It was a foul. Actually, it was two fouls because Todibo had hold of the keeper too.

Anyway, away from tribal nonsense, this is fucking unbelievable. Troy Parrott scored for AZ against Feyenoord dure some catastrophic defininding inside 30 seconds but was miles offside. The game restarted, more horrific stuff on the ball from Feyenoord and he scored again before there was even a minute on the clock!

https://fb.watch/H1mOSRU9Gx/

[air_raid]

15 minutes ago, tiger_rick said:

dure some catastrophic defininding

Stop posting from the pub, Rick!

[tiger_rick]

23 minutes ago, air_raid said:

Stop posting from the pub, Rick!

Sorry, I was spending the holiday monkey.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

For the none facebookers 

 

[air_raid]

Well, we’re fucked. A colleague told me yesterday “If you don’t beat Leeds you don’t deserve to stay up” and I’m inclined to agree.

There is, of course, a slight chance Newcastle might actually show up against West Ham, and I pray to Lord Sugar watching down on us that they do, because as poor as Chelsea have been lately by their standards, no chance do we go there and win. Absolutely critical that we go to the last day ahead because I simply can’t imagine West Ham not beating said same Leeds with their survival at stake. Having said that, we’re at home to Everton so on a hiding to nothing.

The only scenario that I can foresee us staying up would be Newcastle beating West Ham and a miraculous point for my shower at Stamford Bridge making the gap 3 points but goal difference quite a bit in a favour. Then short of a >11 swing on the goal difference it wouldn’t matter if they beat Leeds (which they will) and we lose to Everton (which we will).

Fucking hell. They’ll have to burn down the stadium and salt the earth for being cursed before it ever gets a sponsor.

Edited May 12 by air_raid
That’s Bobby Charlton in the middle.

[SaitoRyo]

1 hour ago, air_raid said:

Well, we’re fucked. A colleague told me yesterday “If you don’t beat Leeds you don’t deserve to stay up” and I’m inclined to agree.

There is, of course, a slight chance Newcastle might actually show up against West Ham, and I pray to Lord Sugar watching down on us that they do, because as poor as Chelsea have been lately by their standards, no chance do we go there and win. Absolutely critical that we go to the last day ahead because I simply can’t imagine West Ham not beating said same Leeds with their survival at stake. Having said that, we’re at home to Everton so on a hiding to nothing.

The only scenario that I can foresee is staying up would be Newcastle beating West Ham and a miraculous point for my shower at Stamford Bridge making the gap 3 points but goal difference quite a bit in a favour. Then short of a >11 swing on the goal difference it wouldn’t matter if they beat Leeds (which they will) and we lose to Everton (which we will).

Fucking hell. They’ll have to burn down the stadium and salt the earth for being cursed before it ever gets a sponsor.

I hope Newcastle do win, since it's our last home game of the season and it will be a goodbye for several notable players, but I also wouldn't be totally upset if we happened to lose, since we've got absolutely nothing to play for and I really want relegation to be decided on the final day. That, the title being decided and a few teams trying to neak into Europe would make for a hell of a Match of the Day. 

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

Well done to Hull. They were the better team over the two legs, especially last night where Millwall decided to have their worst game of the year. The Champo play-off curse continues. At least I get to watch Millwall play only 7 miles from my house next year.