Remember singing at school?

[Carbomb]

4 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

Did anyone else change all the lyrics to shitting like we did?

"What do you do if you need to go poo, in an English country garden, find a leaf and wipe your underneath, in an English country garden" etc

Yup.

[Jazzy G]

"pull down your pants and water all the plants" was our variation. 

Our assembly hymns were printed on acetate and stuck on the OHP for us all to read off the screen in primary school. 

Anybody else have that one that starts "don't build your house on the sandy land"? 

We'd usually walk into assembly to the sounds of classical music, and almost every day the headmaster would ask me who'd composed it because I'd occasionally get it right. 

[King Coconut]

"Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants"

[Fog Dude]

23 hours ago, Duke said:

Thread should be renamed "All things Bright and Beautiful"

Absolutely. This one felt like the default school song that even your Nan would know and expect you to have sung every day.

14 hours ago, Jazzy G said:

"pull down your pants and water all the plants" was our variation. 

Our assembly hymns were printed on acetate and stuck on the OHP for us all to read off the screen in primary school. 

Anybody else have that one that starts "don't build your house on the sandy land"? 

Yeah, I vaguely recall a song with lyrics like that but can't narrow down a title either I'm afraid.

I presumed until reading this thread that looking up at the OHP display in the main hall was a universal school hymn service experience in the 1990s. My junior school didn't have a massive budget for textbooks but the idea of having to hand out songbooks before every morning assembly was beneath even them.

When it comes to changing lyrics I was made all too aware that our generation were hardly pioneers: my Dad had told me staff Bristol Grammar once raged at his entire cohort when it became clear almost all pupils were singing "while shepherds washed their socks by night" instead of "watched their flocks". 

[Surf Digby]

32 minutes ago, Fog Dude said:

When it comes to changing lyrics I was made all too aware that our generation were hardly pioneers: my Dad had told me staff Bristol Grammar once raged at his entire cohort when it became clear almost all pupils were singing "while shepherds washed their socks by night" instead of "watched their flocks". 

While shepherds watched their flocks by night, all seated on the ground
A motorway was opened near and headlights shone around.

One of the shepherd's foolish flock (for sheep are rather thick)
Did wanted 'cross the motorway, the sight would make you sick.

The moral is if you're a sheep that grazes by the road.
You either vanish 'neath a car, or learn your green cross code.

[Carbomb]

We weren't as sophisticated as all that.

"While shepherds washed their socks by night

All seated round the fire

The angel of the lord came down and gave them a tumble dryer

While shepherds washed their socks by night

All watching ITV

The angel of the lord came down and switched to BBC"

[hallicks]

A Christmas special, possibly for RC schools only:

”Most highly flavoured gravy,
Gloria”

 

[BomberPat]

Lord Of The Dance stands out to me, because I have my own weird version of Richard Herring's "Lord Of The Dance Settee" misunderstanding. It always struck me as odd that we had to sing all of these hymns full of words and concepts we didn't understand, and I probably never quite understood that it was a song about Jesus. I had no idea what a Scribe or a Pharisee was, but because the next line was about dancing with the fishermen, as a little kid I envisioned them as being some sort of shellfish.

[Carbomb]

11 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

It always struck me as odd that we had to sing all of these hymns full of words and concepts we didn't understand, and I probably never quite understood that it was a song about Jesus.

Always interesting how so much of organised/state-enforced religion centres around foisting all the regalia of said religion onto the populace, while withholding understanding of the essence of it. I get the feeling that Sydney Carter would've been dismayed at his work being acaporated into the systematised brainwashing of kids in this way.

Quote

I had no idea what a Scribe or a Pharisee was, but because the next line was about dancing with the fishermen, as a little kid I envisioned them as being some sort of shellfish.

I didn't know what a Pharisee was for years as an adult, but finally finding out that it was essentially a political designation was interesting. Basically, there was a split in Judaism in the kingdom of Judaea at the time of the Romans - the state religion was "Greco-Judaism" or "Hellenistic" Judaism, so aristocrats had Greek forenames, and their priests were of the Sadducee branch. The demotic strand of the religion was more Hebraic - what is now referred to as "Pharisaic" Judaism, because their members were called Pharisees, and it led to Rabbinic Judaism, i.e. the Torah being written down, and priests being called "Rabbis" ("scholars") instead.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

7 minutes ago, Carbomb said:

Greco-Judaism

Is that like Greco-Roman but you are allowed to cut below the waist?

[Carbomb]

30 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

Is that like Greco-Roman but you are allowed to cut below the waist?

Let's just say that "Willie Nelson" might mean something different

[Cod Eye]

On 1/12/2025 at 12:49 AM, Surf Digby said:

I'm trying to remember Milk Bottle Tops and Paper Bags now. I'm thinking "Iron bedsteads and dirty old rags" as the next line. Was this the one that had "Baby in the carry cot, cat by the stove" at the end of each verse, or am I mixing it with another?

"At half past 3 we go home for tee

Or maybe at quarter to 4?

And ten pair of feet, go running up the street,

and in at their own front door.

And its rough and tumble, rattle and noise,

Mother and father, girls and boys

Baby in the carry cot, cat by the stove

A little bit on quarrelling, but much more love!"

 

 

[deathrey]

Milk bottle tops and paper bags,

Tired old bedsteads, dirty old rags,

Litter on the pavement, litter on the streets,

Is this what we? (clap, clap, clapclapclap)

Really want to see? (Clap, clap, clapclapclap)

NO NO NO

 

[Just Some Guy]

2 hours ago, BomberPat said:

I had no idea what a Scribe or a Pharisee was, but because the next line was about dancing with the fishermen, as a little kid I envisioned them as being some sort of shellfish.

My kid sister did something similar with the hymn Go Tell It On The Mountain.

She thought a goatellit was a goat / sheep like creature and painted a picture of one on a mountain.

For some reason the song that really stands out to me was the poem Timothy Winters that had been put to music.

If you don't know it, it's a piece about childhood poverty and possibly neglect. I found it extremely troubling at the time. I still do.

[SuperBacon]

4 hours ago, BomberPat said:

Lord Of The Dance stands out to me, because I have my own weird version

Growing up with a Chelsea mad sister (and family) I only knew that version ("and we don't give a fuck whoever you may be, cos we are the famous CFC") so I'd quietly sing that thinking I was cool as.

Also all day I've been walking around the office humming "Rise and shine and give God his glory glory" ffs. I blame Punkstep as he suggested it.