Things that cheer you up

[Cousin Jim Bob]

Australian fucking moron Jim Jefferies.

Takes Riyadh Comedy festival booking for loads of blood money. Tries to justify it by saying "So they killed one journalist, who cares ? That's not a hill I want to die on". On fellow fuckwit Theo Von's podcast.

The result was the organisers cancelled his booking.

Which most people didn't realise. Including myself till I read about it today. So the fucking idiot got all the bad press of performing in the the festival but didn't receive the actual payday. 

Great stuff Jim.

[Chest Rockwell]

Haha. What a dickhead. That's hilarious. Theo Von might be the stupidest dude ever. First time I saw a clip of him I thought it must be some kind of ironic character, as he just couldn't be real. 

[JLM]

I bloody love this Marc Maron bit on Theo and his Rogan-esque position of useful idiot for some of the worst people on Earth:

https://www.reddit.com/r/StandUpComedy/s/aryiXppwT2
 

Also an amusing moment on an audit I did this morning: 
 

Caller: “I’m calling to report my car’s been stolen”

Agent: “That…. sounds about right” 

What a wild response that is. Immediately slams the poor bugger. “Yep already knew it when I saw your number. Old lose-a-car Larry on the line.” 

Edited October 21, 2025 by JLM

[Carbomb]

I have been foraging for mushrooms (edible ones, not naughty ones) this afternoon for the first time ever, with my sister's partner and his mum, who's an experienced 'shroomer. We went to Highgate Wood.

There are some decisions you can make in life that have no downside, that are just positive without question. This was one of them. I got out in the lovely autumn sunshine, got some fresh air in a beautiful part of the world, and I came back with a haul of about two kilos of mushrooms.

Here's the haul: hen-of-the-woods, parasol mushroom, and beefsteak mushrooms. 

We also saw quite a few fly agaric. Nice to look at, but I'm not looking to go on a potentially life-threatening vision quest just yet.

Maybe this one will turn me into a giant that can somehow travel through plumbing systems and headbutt money out of bricks. Or maybe it will just make me think I can.

 

Really looking forward to making something with those hen-of-the-woods in particular - I found a recipe for KFC-style mushrooms that I want to try, but I'm also thinking maybe a Guinness and mushroom pie: made that one before with oyster mushrooms and it was very nice, so should work particularly well with beefsteak ones, I reckon.

 

Edited October 24, 2025 by Carbomb
Dougie Freedman

[Devon Malcolm]

Got called in to an unscheduled work meeting yesterday morning and I thought, "Yeah, I can see where this is going."

But no. I've been given a £1600 bonus and a 9% pay rise. I've only worked there 8 months. Fucking nutters.

[Carbomb]

That's great. It's almost worth the dread of thinking you'll be fired, just so the joy and surprise is greater.

[Devon Malcolm]

3 hours ago, Carbomb said:

That's great. It's almost worth the dread of thinking you'll be fired, just so the joy and surprise is greater.

I mean, I have that dread every day anyway so at least I'm always prepared!

[Carbomb]

29 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I mean, I have that dread every day anyway so at least I'm always prepared!

Am sorry to hear it's that regular a feeling, but glad to hear it's been defeated for once.

[Thefatduck]

7 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Got called in to an unscheduled work meeting yesterday morning and I thought, "Yeah, I can see where this is going."

But no. I've been given a £1600 bonus and a 9% pay rise. I've only worked there 8 months. Fucking nutters.

That made me actually smile. Well done. 
 

 

 

can I borrow £1700?

[Devon Malcolm]

7 minutes ago, Thefatduck said:

That made me actually smile. Well done. 
 

 

 

can I borrow £1700?

Most of that will be going on a new fridge-freezer and a dishwasher so you'll have to lower your expectations somewhat.

[johnnyboy]

The biannual Bazening.

 

[SuperBacon]

As my Tesco delivery driver was unloading the crates, a Sainsburys van pulled up for next door, which we had a joke about, I said "oooh bit of rivalry"

Then he comes out with "Yeah maybe I should slash his tyres"

Popped me big time.

[JLM]

 

 

Dogs. Always dogs. 

Edited October 26, 2025 by JLM

[Tamura]

Three and a half years after my mum died, the sale of her flat finally completed and my share of the proceeds is in my bank account. I'm going to miss the arguments between my brothers though, got to love the "reply all" option on emails...

Edited October 27, 2025 by Tamura
Resizing image

[Surf Digby]

Earlier this year I started training in Taekwondo, as I hadn't really been looking after myself for the last few years (since the 2020 lockdown really), to the point where it would have been quicker and easier for my doctor to just make oinking noises at me.

I've stuck at it, I've not injured myself (yet), I've got myself a lovely orange belt, and finally starting to get some mobility back. 

Not too shabby for a bloke about to turn 50.