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VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented


Frankie Crisp

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On 9/21/2024 at 8:48 PM, Merzbow said:

Don't want to be "that guy" going on a feminist critique but The Substance came across as immensely shallow and even stupid in it's regurgitating of the most basic "Hollywood bad" tropes, shame as it really brought down some of the most spectacular body-horror Ive seen since Crimes of the Future and Demi Moore was brilliant. Maybe something was lost in translation.

I was rather mixed on it. When it's good (which is mainly in the set-up), it's spectacularly good. As it goes on, I felt they didn't know how to end it and got muddled in the storyline, so it all rather fell apart and missed all of its targets. That said, Demi Moore (in particular), Margaret Qualley and Dennis Quaid are all great in it. There's a really, really good film in here, but it had no business being as long as it was.

Some spoiler thoughts:

Spoiler

First of all, I don't care how good she looks at 61, being willing to be filmed fully naked with closeups and under unflattering light while constantly being compared to both a naked Margaret Qualley and her own past self? One hell of a statement and show of force. 

The film's at its best when it's tight and focused on the main two characters - but for a film that's about women and expectations, this somehow sidestepped the patriarchy in a weird way, with no real sense of exploitation. And when you've got Dennis Quaid giving that fun a performance (which was originally going to be Ray Liotta, apparently), that feels like a real waste - he's even called Harvey, FFS. For me, that's where it went off the rails and became unfocused.

If he'd been slightly more of an antagonist, you could have explored some of those issues in a different way, while still keeping all the ludicrousness - have Elizabeth and Sue working together (or Elizabeth taking revenge for how Sue is treated), and forcing the substance onto him for the ending. 

I'm mainly frustrated because when this was good, it was excellent.

 

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I managed to catch Strange Darling in the "Luxe" cinema for a fiver and had the entire huge room to myself, legit was the only person in there which was neat but also sad as it's one hell of a film. Pure unfiltered Merzbow fodder, stylish as hell and shot all on 35mm, edgy and violent while being inspired by Lynch and with some real "cleverness" (your mileage may vary). Two stupidly hot leads with my boy Kyle Gallner up there again.

After Longlegs and The Substance being decent but not quite nailing it for me this had me giddy.

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1 hour ago, Merzbow said:

I managed to catch Strange Darling in the "Luxe" cinema for a fiver and had the entire huge room to myself, legit was the only person in there which was neat but also sad as it's one hell of a film. Pure unfiltered Merzbow fodder, stylish as hell and shot all on 35mm, edgy and violent while being inspired by Lynch and with some real "cleverness" (your mileage may vary). Two stupidly hot leads with my boy Kyle Gallner up there again.

After Longlegs and The Substance being decent but not quite nailing it for me this had me giddy.

Cinematography done by Phoebe's brother from Friends too.

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W.W. & The Dixie Dancekings (YouTube)

Burt Reynolds is a charming conman who lives out of his car (a very rare, special edition Oldsmobile) and drives around the south robbing SOS gas stations. But in a nice way - he gives the good ol' boy working there some of his takings and doesn't use force. To get out of a jam, he somehow ends up managing country music hopefuls The Dixie Dancekings, taking them to Nashville as the lawman attempts to track him down. 

I read the novelisation of this last week, which was quite a bit better. This was enjoyable, mind, since Burt just has ridiculous charisma and I'm into just about anything revolving around country music (Jerry Reed, Don Williams & Mel Tillis have roles).

Sort of had the feel of a made-for-television film about it, and it's a bit mad that John G. Avildsen's next movie was Rocky. 

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Watcher - Maika Monroe is very good. This film is not very good. It had some effective scenes but overall it just felt a bit soulless and pointless. I shrugged when the end credits rolled. I don't think I could point out anything specifically bad about it but it failed to engage me emotionally in any real way.

Edited by LaGoosh
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Haven’t posted in this thread for a while, and I cannot be arsed to write dozens of reviews. With that being said, a quick summary of stuff I’ve watched over the past months.


The Good

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (first time I’ve seen it astonishingly enough)

The Amityville Horror (James Brolin and Christian Bale are the same person, right?)

Goodfellas

Hellboy (the first one)

The Revenant

Deadpool & Wolverine (first watch)

Legally Blonde

Crazy, Stupid, Love - stupid sexy cast.

Top Gun

Top Gun: Maverick - possibly the only legacy sequel I prefer over the original.

The Black Phone (first watch)

John Wick Chapter 3: Parabellum (first watch)

Cliffhanger

Minority Report - so so good.

Amadeus

American Gangster

All Is Lost (first watch) 

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey - I can’t bring myself to watch the third one for fear that’s it’s truly terrible.

 

The Bad

The Mummy Returns.

A Field In England (first watch)

The New Mutants (first watch)

The Seventh Seal (first watch) - I tried. I really tried. It’s just not for me.

Solo: A Star Wars Story - I saw this when it first came out and complained to the cinema for the murky visuals. Turns out it wasn’t their fault. It actually looks like that.

Corpse Bride

Wonder Boys (first watch)

John Wick Chapter 4 - Keanu falling down stairs like Hot Rod, the Arc de Triomphe scene and some atrocious dialogue makes this the worst one yet. But Scott Adkins as a rejected Dick Tracy villain was the highlight though. No more John Wick please.


The Ugly

Moonfall (first watch) - I usually enjoy Roland Emmerich films. This was the worst thing I’ve watched this year. Irredeemably shite.

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I know I defended Argyle, but Megalopolis is possibly not only the worst film of the year, but I’ve ever sat through at the cinema. It’s like someone gave Tommy Wiseau $120m to make a film. A story which makes no sense, some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen, and felt like 4 hours (it’s 2h 18m). 11 people at the start of the screening, 5 by the end. Absolutely woeful. Shia Lebouf in his worst performance to date is the worst here, but Adam Driver is also terrible for someone you know is generally good. Even Aubrey Plaza barely escapes with her dignity.

2/10 I recommend you see it.

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2 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Even Aubrey Plaza barely escapes with her dignity.

Which she carries into My Old Ass, a lovely film that also came out this weekend.

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Eldest daughter surprised me with a trip to see Mean Girls at the cinema as part of it's 20th anniversary re-release. I was 19 when it was originally released and she was 5 months off being born. It's a film we've watched many times together so it was lovely to be asked and to experience it together on the big screen.

I'd genuinely put this in my top 10 favourite films, it's just infinitely quotable, really well written and still very funny. There were plenty of points where I was stifling laughter, simply because it's a line me and my wife have repeated a hundred times at each other over the years. There were maybe a dozen points where me and my daughter were mouthing lines at each other as they happened. It's a shame the screening wasn't more packed as it was way too quite in there. Out of the ten people in the cinema, three of them were young lads, 18 or 19 years old, who had blatantly been dragged along by their girlfriends and clearly hadn't seen it before, highlighted by the fact that when Regina gets hit by the bus, two of them screamed.

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13 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Which she carries into My Old Ass, a lovely film that also came out this weekend.

It really is. Took myself to see it this afternoon and it’s so good. It’s very funny, it’s really, surprisingly emotional, and it will make you want to give yourself a hug. Great film.

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The Substance.  Not too bad, some excellent effects and gore, but it just seemed to me to be a female version of a film a couple of years ago called The Special.  Both had a similar thread, moral and ending.  Dennis Quaid was excellently slimy in it.

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Black Dog

Patrick Swayze is an ex-con (but a good one) and a former truck driver who is roped into doing one more big job, only he doesn't know that his bosses are bad guys and they're setting him up. Standard trucker fare with a few really good action sequences and Swayze is decent as the lead. Clocks in at a little over 80 minutes. You could do worse.

Semi-Tough

This was last night's Kris Kristofferson appreciation watch. I'd never seen it before, but it had Kristofferson and Burt Reynolds in it AND it was directed by Michael Ritchie. so I had to give it a punt. I thought it was going to be Burt and the Boys Having a Laugh - and there is some of that - but it's more a sendup of a lot of the new age treatments that were gaining popularity during the 70s. It was still fun in places, but I'd have liked the American football bit of the story to have been featured more. You'd be hard pressed to find two more ruggedly handsome leads, mind, and Burt's charisma carries it. 

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