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Normally I’d say see a doctor but given your porcelain practices I’d say it means it’s probably Wednesday. 

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6 hours ago, Steve Justice said:

So what does it mean when you suddenly wake in the middle of the night with the most intense stomach cramps I've ever experienced, and then immediately follow it up by covering the bed with pure concentrated brown evil? 

I've had diarrhea before. This wasn't watery spluttery brown liquid. I can only describe it as poo puree. 

Fortunately for my wife I'm currently sleeping in the spare bed, which I'll now have to douse in petrol and set alight. 

I'm now trying to sleep on the sofa and worrying about what will happen when I sneeze. 

Were you sleeping on your front or your back?

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It's not a coronavirus symptom is it? More like really bad stomach bug or something. Get it checked out if it persists.

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There have been cases with GI problems, but it's not common enough to add to the list of actual symptoms. 

It's most likely because I've been taking cold/flu tablets every 4 hours since Sunday, sometimes with ibuprofen in between, and not really eating anything for 2 days and then scoffing a Papa John's pizza. 

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That'd do it.

 

EDIT: I can't believe this has already turned into a Steve Justice Shitting thread.  We just can't help ourselves.

Edited by Loki

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I think working from home is inevitable in the coming weeks. The tube etc. are absolutely hives for shit like this and it only takes one person in an office or a building for this to be an issue. It seems the UK at the moment has it relatively well contained, but chances are its going to become more prominent. Our office has already made us check we can so I assume its a matter of time.

One positive, a lot of people have discovered that they should be washing their bloody hands the dirty bastards.

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It's times like this where I am thankful I drive myself to work.

It's bad enough using public transport at the best of times, but couldn't imagine how awful it is now looking at everyone who sneezes/coughs. 

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8 hours ago, Briefcase said:

It's bad enough using public transport at the best of times, but couldn't imagine how awful it is now looking at everyone who sneezes/coughs. 

My better half has developed a cold since yesterday and happened to be on a one-off work visit in London yesterday and today. She said it was agony trying to hold in a cough on the Tube for up to an hour at a time to avoid stares. I've since picked her up and she's working at home now coughing to her heart's content. The little pleasures in life.

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My dad flew in from Kuala Lumpur this morning. After landing at Heathrow there was a long delay, followed by an announcement asking for anyone feeling ill, to let an attendant know. Cue one passenger being walked to the back of the plane, and everyone else in the rear being moved to a safe zone at the front. 

He was delayed on the tarmac 90 minutes. Given he gets huffy when he has to hard-boil an egg, he was fucking livid

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24 minutes ago, Onyx2 said:

After landing at Heathrow there was a long delay, followed by an announcement asking for anyone feeling ill, to let an attendant know. Cue one passenger being walked to the back of the plane, and everyone else in the rear being moved to a safe zone at the front.

Sounds like when smoking was still allowed on planes...

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I can see the news media tiring of reporting this with its current fervour before cases have even slowed down. Make no mistake, I am taking it as seriously and pragmatic as necessary - with the associated common sense hygiene measures - but at the end of the day unless the actual mortality rate starts shooting up too I can't see a way out of this just becoming a regular part of the flu season now.

The silver lining there is that the panic will go down immeasurably, some of the more unsavoury "GIVE ME THE ADDRESSES OF THE CHILDREN WHO WERE INFECTED AND CANCEL THE ECONOMY" lunatics will fuck off, and we'll all get on with it a whole lot better. Again not making light of it - and the current awareness levels we have around it are useful - but this isn't the apocalypse. The most miserable thing for the vast majority of us about it is the constant shroud of doomsday coverage.

As crazy as it might seem right now, I can see people tiring of this mid spread and moving on to something else. That's social media for you. My hunch is that we'll get bored of it before it gets bored of us. 

 

Edited by Gay as FOOK

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