My dad joked with me at my brother's 30th about how the entire family was going on a holiday but that they hadn't extended the invitation to us because they knew we'd say no. We're really not the sort to sit around on sun loungers at poolside, so this was an entirely reasonable conclusion. Nonetheless, I thought I'd quite enjoy seeing the younger members of the family having fun on what would be for most of them their first trip abroad, so I signed up too, bringing the total to 19.
About three weeks out from the event, I began feeling rather apprehensive at the fact that I'd be topless around people and at risk of getting harpooned if any Japanese or Norwegians were in the area. So I did what made sense to me and got a gym membership. After all, everybody knows that the best way to make five stone disappear is to half-heartedly push something or wave your arms about for twenty minutes or so every now and again.
To no surprise, it didn't work and I arrived on one of the Canary islands a big gelatinous blob ... and it turned out that I was one of the thinner people there! Everybody else was a curious red colour too, as were half my family when I saw them for breakfast on the second morning. (That'll be why the Spanish call us shrimp, then.)
I've had my gym membership since then. That was exactly two years ago and I haven't been once. Every time I saw the monthly fee coming out of my account, I felt rancorous, particularly in those months when I've been within a few quid of hitting my overdraft. But I never did cancel it, imagining I'd feel disgusted with myself at having to acknowledge that I'm too lazy to go to the gym even once. And so for two years those payments have kept coming out.
Until this evening. I headed to the gym (driving naturally) and put a stop to it, cancelling my standing order when I got back home. I've accepted defeat. I'm too lazy to go to the gym even once in two years. I thought I'd feel terrible at having to accept the realisation but, nah, I don't care. I think more than anything else I'm feeling quite happy knowing that I'm not going to be throwing away a few hundred quid every year on something that I don't use.
What about you? Any non-wrestling-related stories of when you just tapped out?