All Tories Are Cunts thread

[Vamp]

If that's the kind of tractor that floats your boat I hope you've had your tetanus jab. 

[wordsfromlee]

1 hour ago, 69MeDon said:

*sigh* and now my internet history has a "sexy tractor" Google search.

Is this your first week on the internet or something?

[69MeDon]

1 hour ago, wordsfromlee said:

Is this your first week on the internet or something?

You're saying there are better ways to find hot, sexy tractors in my area? The more explicit the tractor, the better, as far as I'm concerned so hit me with those links.

Edited April 30, 2022 by 69MeDon

[WyattSheepMask]

“It’s very confusing, I was trying to access Driving Miss Daisy”

[Tamura]

The best site for anyone who likes big, stiff, poles.

[Mr_Danger]

If that’s not a link to Ivanputski.com then I don’t wanna know.

[Jazzy G]

 

 

[SuperBacon]

Off his nut at 7.30am in the morning. If he's not, I don't know what the fuck hes doing. 

 

[Jazzy G]

He's preparing to be the next prime minister. 

[Guest]

He's done that on a dare, surely? He's taken a bet on how many accents he can squeeze into a live interview. What larks.

[Keith Houchen]

I’m sure that’ll help placate the Liverpudlian vote. 

[Edgehead]

3 hours ago, Uncle Zeb said:

He's done that on a dare, surely? He's taken a bet on how many accents he can squeeze into a live interview. What larks.

[Fatty Facesitter]

6 hours ago, Uncle Zeb said:

He's done that on a dare, surely? He's taken a bet on how many accents he can squeeze into a live interview. What larks.

That, or an advisor has gotten in his ear and said "Michael, we need to change your image. Everyone thinks you're an old, white grandad who is out of touch with the younger generation. We need to make you more appealing to them. Why not try some funny accents? You'll go viral! On TikTok!"

The sad thing is, he has gone viral and despite all of the comments rightly chastising how vomit-inducing and crap it is, his advisors/team will look at social media stats and present him with a bunch of figures.

"Michael! You were the number one trend in the UK! Your trend was even higher than the Ukraine war!"

"Your video was engaged with by 900% of Facebook users!"

"Your video generated 50 billion Twitter impressions!"

"You've appeared on TikTok, Reels and YouTube Shorts 90 billion times!!"

It's excrement like the above that makes me hate social media...which I also work in for a living. And I'm clearly a Tory in disguise. #BackBoris 

Edited May 11, 2022 by Fatty Facesitter
F***ing Tory C***

[Vamp]

Thing is, it does work. 

I'm sure someone more learned could explain it, but it's like people have been led to believe that they're lazy idiots (maybe they are, but people used to have more pride about hard work and being smart to the facts of life), have accepted that narrative and now want to see people like them in charge. 

 

[Hannibal Scorch]

Surprised this hasn’t been mentioned 

video below