The Smackers Thread

[The King of Old School]

20 hours ago, air_raid said:

It’ll take a megapint of ketamine, laced with Teremana plus Prime to taste, to make me forget “I want your soul.” As mentioned, it’s the Debra we didn’t need.

Or maybe, if we want to incorporate the Reigns/Rock revenge arc with Cody and Roman as the heroes, it’s an allusion to The Ministry Of Darkness (Corporate Ministry?) and we’re fully Secret Wars-ing this shit with Taker coming out of retirement to seek yet more revenge on Roman for retiring him in the Mania 33 of a different timeline! It would make little less sense than Taker & Kane vs DX happening in 2018, really.

@The King of Old School No, this is not a serious suggestion.

Shame, sounded better than your last suggestion!

[Devon Malcolm]

Without wishing to add to the HYPERBOLE and HYSTERIA sweeping through this thread but The Rock segment was even worse than I've come to expect from him.

Just an utter egomaniac. Everything he's done since he came back has been at best nonsensical. Nothing has connected together and I can only assume, at this point, Cody Rhodes gave a negative review to Black Adam on Letterboxd or something.

This was just gibberish. WWE are going to have to pull off a rescue act of last year's proportions to save this whole mess. 

All we wanted was Jumanji 4, Dwayne. 

[Supremo]

It is funny to look back at the last six to eight months.

When Hunter was speed-running through the Bloodline Civil War and putting out those ridiculously stacked B-shows, the joke was that he was having his fun and doing everything he could now, before The Rock inevitably turned up and dropped a Corporate Elbow on his Wrestlemania build. And then that’s exactly what happened. Twice!

Makes so much more sense when you stop to think about it. No wonder the Wrestlemania build up has been so shit. Why bother even trying when there’s a borderline garauntee Rocky’s going to smash it all to smithereens, anyway? Much easier to go on Cruise Control, wait for the iceberg to hit, and then start building from there.

Perhaps we’ve all underestimated The Game Triple H. Maybe he’s been playing 4-D chess all along. I mean, even Road Dogg describes him as the smartest man he’s ever met when it comes to business, and what possible reason does the D-O-Double-G have to lie?

https://www.fightful.com/wrestling/road-dogg-triple-h-smartest-dude-i-ve-ever-met-when-it-comes-business

[Hannibal Scorch]

1 hour ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Without wishing to add to the HYPERBOLE and HYSTERIA sweeping through this thread but The Rock segment was even worse than I've come to expect from him.

Just an utter egomaniac. Everything he's done since he came back has been at best nonsensical. Nothing has connected together and I can only assume, at this point, Cody Rhodes gave a negative review to Black Adam on Letterboxd or something.

This was just gibberish. WWE are going to have to pull off a rescue act of last year's proportions to save this whole mess. 

All we wanted was Jumanji 4, Dwayne. 

To your point he's had 3 promo segments of 10 minutes or more so far this year. Each one worse than the one before. I don't know who is helping him write these but they need to have their head wobbled and stop the nonsense being spewed.

@Supremowasn't it HHH who was pushing for him to main event Wrestlemania X7 instead of Rock/Hogan a match which left the crowd so spent his match was basically crickets? Smartest guy in the room indeed.

Edited February 24, 2025 by Hannibal Scorch

[air_raid]

2 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Without wishing to add to the HYPERBOLE and HYSTERIA sweeping through this thread

It's been far worse than that. People have been positively...

On 2/22/2025 at 6:06 PM, Doog said:

hyberloic

... which I think is a symptom of either too much ket or bad ket.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

The Hyperbolics are a new tag team in NXT. One of the members is called Hyper, don't ask about the other. 

[DavidB6937]

If you smellllllllll..

*sniff*

.. what the Rock..

*sniff sniff*

.. issssss...

Dwayne, we might need to change your theme man.

[JLM]

5 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

The Hyperbolics are a new tag team in NXT. One of the members is called Hyper, don't ask about the other. 

Hardyng Haipa and Billee Bollyx. 

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

6 minutes ago, JLM said:

Billee Bollyx

Possibly, but they've just trademarked the name Kalyx which is similar enough to Bollyx for them not to do it. 

[digforvictory]

I actually thought Rocks promo the Raw after Mania last year was shite as well.

It had similar problems as this latest one on Smackdown, just rambling on aimlessly, weird pauses and gaps, turning babyface and heel every few minutes, Cody having to stand there looking confused etc. The general gist of him basically challenging Cody to a title match at some point was easier to understand but the actual promo work itself was awful.

So he's had 4 terrible promos in a row at this point now, plus that baffling appearance at Bad Blood that led to nothing and wasn't mentioned at all afterwards.  He's like David Brent turning up to his old work unannounced every few weeks to just hang out and annoying everyone.

Edited February 24, 2025 by digforvictory

[Supremo]

A much better show than last week, but that’s hardly a compliment. Still loads of echoes from the DARK DAYS. 

TV shows opening with awkward promo segments, that morph into impromptu matches, which end in a screwy non-finish?

Advertised matches (LA Knight vs. Nakamura) being abandoned and changed the afternoon of the show?

Tag match that doesn’t even get started due to a rubbish schmozz?

That awful sense of empty-calorie, just-fill-some-TV-time, insult-your-intelligence auto booking? Rather than have LA Knight challenge for the US Title, we instead had a mini-tournament, featuring four separate matches, spanning three hours of television, just to confirm LA Knight is now the Number One Contender for the US Title. A complete waste of everyone’s time.

The Miz and Charlotte back being one-note, boring parodies just adds to it. There is nothing shitter than Miz wordplay. “Mellow don’t Miz.” “Awes-him.” Get it? Get it?! Fuck off. Whole thing reeks of 2017.

On the plus side, the two big promo segments elevated this show massively.

That segment with all the Elimination Chamber competitors was great fun. A completely different energy to everything else. Everyone felt big time, they did a cute job of referencing all the past interactions between each competitor, and Logan Paul completely shut me up with a fantastic performance. Him coming out to Cena’s music was top trolling. Him calling himself a full-timer and slagging Cena off for being a, “classic Celebrity Wrestler,” was brilliant stuff. Still holding out hope that Cena vs. Logan is the Mania match.

Sami and Kevin hit a complete home run, too. Tremendous stuff from both of them. Yet again. Tomorrow night, you’ve got advertised matches involving John Cena and CM Punk, and advertised segments with The Rock and Cody Rhodes, and yet you could still argue the main event of the show could and should be Kevin Steen vs. El Generico. I’ll never get over what a triumph both guys have been in this company.

So yeah, a mixed bag for sure. What’s worrying though is that the best stuff on this show was the Raw and legacy stuff that had bled over since everyone was in town for the pay per view, whereas your run-of-the-mill, here-every-week, Smackdown-exclusive stuff was where all the cracks continue to show themselves.

Remember in late 2000, when Stephanie took over creative? When there was a sudden sense that things had gone a bit shit? But they still had so much momentum, so many hot stars, and so much goodwill with the audience that it continued to carry them, even when things had gone south creatively? Yeah, that’s what this show reminded me of.

At least they didn’t give Rock a live microphone. Progress is progress.

Edited March 1, 2025 by Supremo

[OzExile]

Logan Paul is the best heel in wrestling since Vince McMahon. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

3 hours ago, Supremo said:

A much better show than last week, but that’s hardly a compliment. Still loads of echoes from the DARK DAYS. 

TV shows opening with awkward promo segments, that morph into impromptu matches, which end in a screwy non-finish?

Advertised matches (LA Knight vs. Nakamura) being abandoned and changed the afternoon of the show?

Tag match that doesn’t even get started due to a rubbish schmozz?

That awful sense of empty-calorie, just-fill-some-TV-time, insult-your-intelligence auto booking? Rather than have LA Knight challenge for the US Title, we instead had a mini-tournament, featuring four separate matches, spanning three hours of television, just to confirm LA Knight is now the Number One Contender for the US Title. A complete waste of everyone’s time.

The Miz and Charlotte back being one-note, boring parodies just adds to it. There is nothing shitter than Miz wordplay. “Mellow don’t Miz.” “Awes-him.” Get it? Get it?! Fuck off. Whole thing reeks of 2017.

On the plus side, the two big promo segments elevated this show massively.

That segment with all the Elimination Chamber competitors was great fun. A completely different energy to everything else. Everyone felt big time, they did a cute job of referencing all the past interactions between each competitor, and Logan Paul completely shut me up with a fantastic performance. Him coming out to Cena’s music was top trolling. Him calling himself a full-timer and slagging Cena off for being a, “classic Celebrity Wrestler,” was brilliant stuff. Still holding out hope that Cena vs. Logan is the Mania match.

Sami and Kevin hit a complete home run, too. Tremendous stuff from both of them. Yet again. Tomorrow night, you’ve got advertised matches involving John Cena and CM Punk, and advertised segments with The Rock and Cody Rhodes, and yet you could still argue the main event of the show could and should be Kevin Steen vs. El Generico. I’ll never get over what a triumph both guys have been in this company.

So yeah, a mixed bag for sure. What’s worrying though is that the best stuff on this show was the Raw and legacy stuff that had bled over since everyone was in town for the pay per view, whereas your run-of-the-mill, here-every-week, Smackdown-exclusive stuff was where all the cracks continue to show themselves.

Remember in late 2000, when Stephanie took over creative? When there was a sudden sense that things had gone a bit shit? But they still had so much momentum, so many hot stars, and so much goodwill with the audience that it continued to carry them, even when things had gone south creatively? Yeah, that’s what this show reminded me of.

At least they didn’t give Rock a live microphone. Progress is progress.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGpIS7zMpLw/?igsh=YXViMWU0dHo0eGU5

All that matters.

Punkov's Rifle.

Corporate Phil vs Cody. They're not letting The Rock fumble Mania.

[The King of Old School]

Made me laugh when Cole was telling Cody that if he took the Rocks offer he could defend the belt whenever he wanted.

He's defended it three times since August.

[d-d-d-dAz]

I know 'The Rock is terrible and has a ket addled gear brain' is taken as read now, but we really shouldn't ignore how bad he was again.

Yes they might rescue it with Punk/Cody, but how has he gone from wise Uncle Dwayne on the Netflix debut; to drunk Auntie Dwayne on NXT; to absolutely blitzed half face/half pass-agg heel last week... to having the date of Cody's dad's death embroidered onto a weight belt this week?

His tonal shifts are absolutely mental. He doesn't have a clue what he's doing. Wally.

Edited March 1, 2025 by d-d-d-dAz