Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted February 6, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 6, 2017 Or 'Your Parents Aren't In - An Adventure'. Basically, stupid or disastrous stuff that happened when you were entrusted with looking after your place preferably as a young 'un. Once I'd turned 15 I persuaded my parents that I could be trusted with looking after the house on my own for two weeks while they went on holiday to Cyprus, because Cyprus was fucking boring and too hot and the girls weren't as fit as in Malta. Among the highlights:- * On the first night I decided to try using the chip pan on my own and, putting it on the lowest possible heat it would go on so as not to cause a chip pan fire and be on That's Life, about 45 minutes later the fat was melted and it took about an hour to cook some pomme noisettes, by which time I wasn't hungry because I got bored and ate three bags of Ringos. * When money started to run out on day three, I mostly lived off Greggs iced fingers and Rice Krispies. * My mum forgot reduce the milk delivery so when she got back she came home to 16 bottles of semi-skimmed and then made me tip away the ones that had turned rancid as punishment. * My uncle came round one day to mow the lawn except he put the mower on the wrong setting or something and it pulled up all the grass by the roots. * Found a dildo and 'sex education' books under my parents' bed and then, later, a used condom and never went back in there again. And yet they still let me do this for the next 4 years afterwards too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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