Mr_Danger Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I imagine a corner willy would be quite useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members FLips Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 Apologies, misread and got the impression Otto did it. Awful story regardless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otto Dem Wanz Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017  Nah I was pretty good on knowing right from wrong at that age, can’t say the same for some of the nutters I knew back then though  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 My mate at school lived in a house that was formerly a shop. It was massive. His living room was the old stock room. He had two brothers as well, around the same age. They were born one year after the next, so we were all mates and the same age. Anyway, I was sleeping over their house one night when I was about 11. His Mam had taken his nana to the Bingo which was only two doors away. We were on our own in this massive house, so brilliantly we played this game where we all had a walky talky and went hiding in the house and tried to find each other. Â Its no spitting on a dog, but I swear it was so fucking fun and scary I cant describe it. Especially when you found the person. It was like being in a horror film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 I reckon even Jim Ross would be offended by Otto's dog spitting story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.E Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 Similar to Ians: Â When I got home from school, my ma would be out either working or at College some evenings,(see had two jobs and went to college one night a week....single mum), so it left me on my todd to do whatever I liked really. Â So I'd have some friends over, and we'd play video games/action figures/whatever. Then came the idea of hide & seek in an empty house. This later evolved into hide and seek in the dark, and was tons of fun. The main thing was, although it was never pitch black, it gave some leeway on where you could hide without being seen. Under cushions/under tables/behind doors, it was a right laugh at the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 Can't believe Otto ate a dog. Â My home alone times were generally pretty banal - most notable thing I remember was deciding to switch things up a bit, and have an al fresco wank. So I took myself and the scrapbook I made out of my favourite porn mag pics (kind of a jazz journal) into the field behind our estate. I was just finished with a marathon session and was decent again when two of the girls from school walked over. I assume they had watched and respectfully let me finish. So they were well up for it... in my imagination. They obviously didn't respect the law of porn films that meant we were all supposed to go at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 In Ottos defence he's only really guilty of being mates with utter cunts when he was a kid and maybe of not sounding particularly sympathetic towards the poor dog. Â Son a a single working mum here too. One day me and my brother staged my fake death. I lay on the floor next to an off the hook phone with eyes and mouth open in classic death pose. My brother trashed the living room a bit and as soon as my mum approached the house he started acting hysterical only for her to walk in and see her middle son lying pretend dead. She freaked out and ran off screaming. Was pretty funny at the time. Probably too young to be left alone like, as evidenced by the time my brother shot his mate with an air rifle. Was pretty good range to be fair, his bedroom window to the ice cream van. His mate was goading him telling him he wouldn't dare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 A lad who'd been a mate for a while but started hanging around with some lads that hated me shot me in the head with an air rifle (actually, that was also in the wank field). After that he was so terrified that I was going to tell on him that he was ridiculously nice to me for months after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 My story's pretty hardcore. My parents and sister went away on holiday two summers running. The first time I had a mate round and we watched WrestleMania 1 to 10 back to back. The second time I watched 24 hours of ECW TV in a row. (The following year at university, my mate came over and we did a year's worth in one weekend, but nearly went mental.) And it gets wackier. I invented paprika on toast. You spread butter on toast, then spread paprika on it. It's amazing. Hardcore? Hardcore? In 1986 when my parents pissed off to Rhyl for a dirty weekend, I set my spectrum up on the big telly and played elite for 48 hours straight, only stopping for the occasional piss, shite and to make more toast. That's fucking hardcore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted February 8, 2017 Share Posted February 8, 2017 The truest depiction of teenage life ever committed to film is on the Inbetweeners when Will's mum is away and every other scene has someone making toast. Probably the sole reason teenage boys don't starve to death in the absence of parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members ElCece Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 Can't believe Otto his the head of a dog fighting syndicate. Â I was never daft enough to have people around my place for a free house. Â The story that automatically comes to mind for me is when a mate had a party when we where all 16 and in the morning there was no damage what so ever till we started to tidy up and he found an empty packet of prawn cocktail Walkers with Jizz in it. Â Later that day he also discovered someone had spunked on his mums dressing gown. Either there where 2 depraved weirdo's or one incredibly depraved weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BigJag Posted February 8, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted February 8, 2017 The one thing that sticks out for me is once when Mum went out to do the shopping me and my brother used the opportunity for a wrestling match. I accidently dropped him on the floor face first which gave him a black eye. My ten year old brain knew that you put frozen peas on stuff like that and it heals straight away so Mum will never find out. Unfortunately we only had a half open bag of frozen chips in the freezer, so I made him lie down and started to build a tower of frozen chips on his face, like a McCains Jenga tower if you will. Mum walked in looking absolutely bemused at my brother balancing frozen chips on his face whilst I sat there looking very smug that I had thought outside the box. So so brilliant. Genius. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Reminds me of two stories one not for here. Bit a mate when we were sixteen was from a recently divorced family and his mum had basically reverted to being 18 off out clubbing and shagging every weekend so he had the house to himself. The flat they then had used to get trashed each weekend including vomit in the vcr and dents in the doors yet she never used to do anything about it. But she was the kind of woman who set up her bedroom in what was supposed to be the dining room enclave of the lounge and used a wooden screen to create privacy, one time I'm sure someone said she fucked a guy in there while the kids (teenagers) were watching a movie. Â Now the story will seem silly but the one time she flew off the handle about something breaking was when another mate came to "interfere" when I was entertaining a few girls at a party by that I mean chatting and making them laugh I stood no chance as the spotty fatty I was at the time. To squeeze in he sat on this glass table and started to talk over me and move into a number of lounge lizard positions. 5 minutes in amd the class shatters slashing his back and making him look a complete tit. He looked a tit and had to pay for the glass at a far overpriced rate and to quote Alan partridge needless to say I had the last laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra_gordo Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Reminds me of two stories one not for here. Â Does the second story involve you spitting on a dog? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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