Sphinx Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 I agree with Kaz as I agree with taking a holistic approach, working on the root issue - going to social situations by yourself where you feel no pressure to keep up appearances with a friend if you're not feeling it. It also gives you a chance to observe and hopefully realise that it's less daunting than it seems. I also agree that you seem perfectly alright on here and that should hopefully give you a bit of confidence in conversations. I know this will be controversial, but have you ever taken MDMA? It relaxes you, you feel loving and euphoric, and you naturally open up to talk and have some great social bonding. It's not addictive and won't set off an anxiety attack. I'm no expert, but my understanding is that you secrete more seretonin than you usually would making you feel like you're in 'ecstacy'. Other effects are that music sounds better and dancing feels nice on it, which is why it's a drug common in clubs. Like most drugs, it's best experienced with people who are also on it and thus on the same wavelength (and therefore you have other lovey-dovey chatty people on it too). Friends have been on it and been surprised that they're in control of themselves; because they've been pissed, they think that a drug is gonna make them be all over the place, stumbling, talking bollocks when you're really not (so long as you take in moderation of course). Obviously you wouldn't take this before going to meet someone for drinks for example, but what you take from your experience on it can help you in future social situations as you can refer to that time. You learn from it rather than rely on it. I genuinely feel that it would help a lot of people with social anxieties and a quick search on Google shows that many feel the same way - from people relaying their experiences to scientists saying it can help people with Aspergers, PTSD and social anxiety. It's quite a leap I know - and Kaz's approach is certainly something you should do - but I thought I'd throw this out there as it's a very eye-opening experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 I have read some research into MDMA and the like, and whilst being far from anti-drugs, I wouldn't touch it because of personal reasons. I do smoke weed a bit, which does help me, but nah MDMA isn't for me, although I appreciate it might help some people. Whatever works for that person right? @Duke yeah sounds good. I'm always up for watching football. Surbitons between us, so easily done. 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Rashers, you're a good lad. I know what you mean about making plans and not being up for it though. I was meant to watch Mania with Butch and Frankie but my mind wouldn't let me. Hopefully you can find a place where you are comfortable enough but until then, don't rush it as it'll be one step forward and three back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted July 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2017 Bacon, smoking weed may not be the best idea if you're suffering with issues with aniexty. I know that in my case, I had to knock pot on the head entirely because it was making me super socially anxious and paranoid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Yeah, I don't smoke weed but I've seen that effect first hand in people. But that seems to come from smoking it often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 9 minutes ago, SpursRiot2012 said: Bacon, smoking weed may not be the best idea if you're suffering with issues with aniexty. I know that in my case, I had to knock pot on the head entirely because it was making me super socially anxious and paranoid. Only once in a while, and only ever when I'm hanging out with the ex and to be honest only put in a little bit now (no more doing chokers off bong hits. What were we thinking???) I don't really drink so it helps out, but I know what you mean mate. Thanks for looking out. @Keith Houchen thanks for the kind words. Appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Duke Posted July 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2017 1 hour ago, SuperBacon said: I have read some research into MDMA and the like, and whilst being far from anti-drugs, I wouldn't touch it because of personal reasons. I do smoke weed a bit, which does help me, but nah MDMA isn't for me, although I appreciate it might help some people. Whatever works for that person right? @Duke yeah sounds good. I'm always up for watching football. Surbitons between us, so easily done. 👍 I work in Kingston too so surbs always works. Chuck me a PM or a Facebook add or something. Also, if you're feeling anxious and crappy and stuff and just need to talk to someone, feel absolutely free to PM me. Always happy to chat through stuff, worst thing you can do is keep it bottled up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted July 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2017 (edited) 1 hour ago, SuperBacon said: Only once in a while, and only ever when I'm hanging out with the ex and to be honest only put in a little bit now (no more doing chokers off bong hits. What were we thinking???) I don't really drink so it helps out, but I know what you mean mate. Thanks for looking out. Got ya. OK, well, just try to stick to Thai stick or something, not that crazy London skunk. Sphinx is right in that there are some studies that indicate that treatment with MDMA may have some benefits for those suffering with depression and anxiety - and there are people who swear that micro-dosing psilocybin helps their depression, and I know one guy personally who's anxiety got so bad he could barely leave the house, who traveled to Sweden, did an ayahuasca ceremony and is now the most outgoing guy I know - but I would say, if you were looking to go down the route of using these sorts of things to try and help, look into getting into a medical study, don't just pop a few Es and cross your fingers. You going to any Spurs games at Wembley this year? Let me know if you are, I'd be down to grab an overpriced hot dog and chill with you. Edited July 31, 2017 by SpursRiot2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted July 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2017 (edited) I went to a BPS lecture around the medicinal use of hallucinogens and so on last year, and while you could tell there was a very stuffy, "obviously we can't tell you to do this" atmosphere, the guy presenting clearly fell very much in favour of using small doses of psilocybin to treat depression and anxiety. But the crowd was definitely split between people with a discerning interest in psychology, and the same people I used to see at Howard Marks gigs. I definitely got the impression that a significant number in the crowd weren't really going to pay much attention to the parts of the cited studies that made it clear that these were all medically licensed, and in strictly controlled settings. Personally, I think there are undoubtedly medical benefits to a lot of drugs that are currently illegal, but like Spurs said, don't just take some Es and cross your fingers! The unreliability/inconsistency of street drugs, combined with the potential unpredictability of settings you might take them in, don't lend themselves to replicable medical breakthroughs, and for every "taking this stuff sorted my anxiety out", there's a freak-out or a drop-out chewing his own face off. I'd never personally recommend drug use to anyone, because I think it's something you really need to come to on your own - or decide against on your own. I don't touch anything but alcohol these days, and have been clean for probably six or seven years now, and nowadays I tend to find that the people actively advocating drug use of one kind or another as a cure-all are just as preachy and just as tedious as those who are vehemently anti-drugs. Edited July 31, 2017 by BomberPat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 @Duke will do dude @SpursRiot2012 absolutely going to try and go see us as much as I can this year as it's one of the only places I feel comfortable, weirdly enough (apart from that time I sat in the Paxton Road End and someone was shouting cunt in front of all the kids but nm). So yeah be well up for that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members SpursRiot2012 Posted July 31, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted July 31, 2017 Alright, man, drop me a PM or tweet at me when you know what games you're going to be at! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sphinx Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 I dunno whether I came across as preachy, but it wasn't intended. If someone wants to take something that's their decision. Correct about the unreliability of street drugs too. Having a tester kit to check the purity can help feel more comfortable about it, and not getting pills too. But anyway, you've got people wanting to hang out with you on here which is pretty great really. Enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lightningxlock Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 On 30/07/2017 at 8:23 PM, SuperBacon said: On the subject of friends. I don't have any. Not in a jokey "billy no mates" way but I genuinely don't have any and haven't for a long time. From the age of 14-19, I had great mates, from school like most people and we'd spend all the time we had together (unless one of us had miraculously met a girl), and subsequently I had a lot of girl friends, who I lost touch with when they all went to uni. Then I started working when I was 19, and spent the next four years with a new group of "mates" who drank heavily, went out on the smash every weekend and this was Up until I met my wife at 23 when I sorted my shit out. When we met, there was a lot of animosity towards me and her from these so called "mates" and I quickly realised they were just users and not real friends. Throughout my marriage, I really isolated myself with my family (not through anyone else saying so), but if someone at work was being friendly and say asked me out, I'd be a right hermit and say no as I'd want to spend time with my family. Nothing wrong with that? But it was unhealthy and used to drive my wife mad. I met one guy who I became good friends with but he moved to Australia about two years ago. I have people I speak to at work, and around, and play football with the other Dad's every week, occasionally go and watch football with them but I wouldn't consider them friends. There's no one I'd call up and want to chat to or call upon for advice. And I am 32, live on my own and have no friends. Which is pretty sad really. A lot of it is down to my depression and anxiety and I think "why would anyone want to be my friend". Case in point the other week, after football, one Dad had arranged for us to go for drinks then a curry, and I said I was going home to get changed knowing full well I was going to bail after saying I was going all week, and that was because I just couldn't face the social situation. I really don't know what to do, as my ex really worries about me, as she is pretty much the only friend I have, and can turn to and obviously that's not healthy for certain things. Sorry for ranting it's made me feel a bit better. As others have stated, that's really sad to read mate. I'm glad people have stepped forward on here to arrange meet ups etc. I know it's probably not ideal, but it's nice that you're still on friendly terms with your ex. Sometimes I really enjoy my own space but I honestly believe no one should be alone. I think especially as you get older and you have to deal with all kinds of life events and emotions. I can go some way in understanding the anxiety. Thankfully it's not long lasting for myself but on Saturday me and the missus were supposed to be having a night in a nice hotel and during the day I had a bit of a meltdown and was tempted to just sack the night off and waste the money I'd spent on the hotel. That all passed once I met up with her and we had a really nice night. I have a few mates, one in particular, who I think is suffering pretty bad with it at the moment so you walk a bit of a fine line with moaning about not seeing anybody and appreciating that they may want to do things but grappling with their own emotions at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperBacon Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 @lightningxlock thanks for the advice and kind words, much appreciated. Thats the thing, I do like my own space. I'd probably rather read a book than talk to another human to be honest. There's definitely people I know (work or other) that I could go for a drink with or watch football or whatever, but no one I'd genuinely consider a friend. But all the advice given is great and I'm thankful for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 I can't be doing with other people tbh. They get on me tits. I'm sure it's directly linked to anxiety but it's pretty much only my kids I can be arsed to be around 24/7. It's pretty rough on girlfriends etc especially when you factor in I go through spells of trying to avoid human contact because it irritates the shit out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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