Paid Members theironshake Posted May 6, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 6, 2017 Thanks guys you have confirmed what I was thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonworden Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 (edited) i've had the same with my fiancee before in the past where she kicks up a fuss if I go away without her, however she has never really obstructed me from doing so. There was a period where I kept going away for a few nights over about 6 months and we hadn't been away for ages but these days it usually happens once a year for something or other and I just expect her to lump it and enjoy her presents when I get back.  I did once get pissed and book myself a weekend in Kuala Lumpur without asking if she had free time to go with me. Managed to manipulate it into a visa run and explain to her she wouldnt like it as i'll just be sitting in an embassy. Not sure how I got away with that one and showing her the pictures of all the stuff I did.  I think as other people said you simply need to lay it down politely that it's really important to you, it's happening and you'll be back in five days. Hopefully she'll understand. Edited May 7, 2017 by simonworden Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Azrall Posted May 9, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 9, 2017 On 3/11/2017 at 8:09 PM, deathrey said: Well, they originally were happy for us but since he's spoken to all my male cousins they all seem to have switched to being on his side - which in itself is quite weird - but he's incredibly charismatic so I guess they have all fallen for it. I feel like the only possible step is to get my dad to have a word with their dad's as I'm not sure what else we can do. I have been trying to keep my dad away from a lot of it as they are his nephews and he will be very hurt but they are forcing my hand to the point that I think I have no choice. I'm hoping things will calm down after time, but if they don't, dad's it is I guess.... Maybe I missed something reading your other posts, but what is it EXACTLY that your cousin hates about the two of you being together, family or not, who you decide to spend the rest of your life with has fuck all to do with him! Have you outright asked him? Is there jealousy or something? I don't get it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drfunke Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 25 minutes ago, Azrall said: Maybe I missed something reading your other posts, but what is it EXACTLY that your cousin hates about the two of you being together, family or not, who you decide to spend the rest of your life with has fuck all to do with him! Have you outright asked him? Is there jealousy or something? I don't get it. #WINCEST Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 21 hours ago, Azrall said: Maybe I missed something reading your other posts, but what is it EXACTLY that your cousin hates about the two of you being together, family or not, who you decide to spend the rest of your life with has fuck all to do with him! Have you outright asked him? Is there jealousy or something? I don't get it. I have to be honest and say I'm not really sure. He has given lots of shitty reasons which I don't believe for a second i.e telling me he's not good enough for me, but telling my other the opposite. He's said that the family is not a good match for my family i.e my parents are well off and his parents are not but it's not 1956 in India so who gives a crap about that? Certainly not me or my parents. He's said 'she's like my sister, how dare he's but that's bull cos my cousin hasn't spoken to me in over 2 years now. I think his ego is bruised because he told us both not to start seeing each other and shouted about it to other people and we didn't listen. I think there's also an element of my other half knowing exactly what my cousin has been up to (and it's not good or legal most the time) and he doesn't want that getting out or someone having one over on him. The whole thing is getting increasingly nasty as my cousin seems to have a puzzling amount of influence on other family members. It's gotten as petty as me being befriended on Facebook and Instagram by most of them. Suffice to say, I can't wait to no longer be part of this family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted May 10, 2017 Moderators Share Posted May 10, 2017 At least it should help keep the guest list numbers down... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I wish! My parents say they still have to be invited despite acting like total arseholes. We were in India for another cousins wedding over Easter and it was one of the worst experiences of my life, it was like being bullied in high school. If I got up to dance, everyone would go and sit down, if I sat down on a table everyone would get up and move, it was awful. I'm having a traditional Indian wedding so the guest list is about 400 people. If I got rid of everyone that is acting like arseholes, the wedding list would be down about 60 people, and then lose more because they would be upset the others hadn't been invited. I'd basically lose the majority of my dad's side of the family and my grandma who is 98 would be distraught about it so I'll grin and bare it for the one day and hopefully never see any of them again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikehoncho Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Fuck 'em & elope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I wanted to do that! My parents are spending a ridiculous amount of money on the wedding, I'd rather they had just given us the money to buy a house! Weddings are a big deal to my parents, it seems they have been waiting and saving my whole life for this day, I can't take that from them or from his parents, plus I'm looking forward to rubbing it in my cousins faces a bit. Us being happy and them being able to do nothing about it will piss them off more than anything else I could do. They seem to be under the impression that without them the wedding will fall apart and be a shambles but that couldn't be further from the truth.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikehoncho Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 If it's a cultural norm that your wedding is a big deal to both sets of parents, then I guess the wishes of the oldies are respected. Â However, it's your, i.e. you & your betrotheds', day. Â And then there's the rest of your lives. Â That's all I'm saying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Chest Rockwell Posted May 11, 2017 Moderators Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) Do you know any of the detail of what your cousin has been saying? He must be making up some pretty scandalous bullshit to make these kind of waves. I'd be fucking fuming; you've got some real patience and willpower. I'm angry on your behalf just reading about it. Edited May 11, 2017 by Chest Rockwell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 1 hour ago, mikehoncho said: If it's a cultural norm that your wedding is a big deal to both sets of parents, then I guess the wishes of the oldies are respected.  However, it's your, i.e. you & your betrotheds', day.  And then there's the rest of your lives.  That's all I'm saying. To be honest, I'm not all that bothered about the wedding. I know that sounds a bit strange but as I've always known I'll have a big fat Indian wedding and that's never really been my thing, I'm not all that bothered about it all. People keep asking me about things like colour schemes and I don't even see why I need one! I'm more excited about the honeymoon and actually being married Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deathrey Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Chest Rockwell said: Do you know any of the detail of what your cousin has been saying? He must be making up some pretty scandalous bullshit to make these kind of waves. I'd be fucking fuming; you've got some real patience and willpower. I'm angry on your behalf just reading about it. I know snippets but not everything and I guess I don't really want to know as it will do nothing but anger me and I don't think that's a useful emotion to have when I can't really do anything with the anger. I know he's saying I'm a stubborn little bitch that doesn't listen to anyone, which is obviously proved true by this situation haha. When I sit and think about what's happening for more than 10 minutes I do get very angry, so I try not to think about it and get on with my life, focus on the positives as they say. He's been very clever and said different things to different people to push on the buttons he knows will anger that specific individual. He's a pretty pathetic individual who needs to get a life if his own, he's 33 years old for heaven's sake. It seems it's a hardcore of 3 or 4 people that are particularly angry and everyone else is going along with the crowd to some extent (not that that is any excuse for their behaviour) but I understand how mob mentality works and it's hard to be the one that doesn't go with the crowd for a lot of people. I obviously just don't mean very much to any of them. I do believe that what's goes around comes around so if they want to keep behaving like this, it's only going to come back and bite them in the arse one day, I just have to be patient till that day comes - and it will come. Otherwise I have lots of dirt on all of them, I've been tempted to spill the beans.... I have joked to my other half that if my cousin does anything, I'm going to report it to the police as an honour crime and get a restraining order on him. Though I think he's all talk and not a lot of action. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Azrall Posted May 15, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted May 15, 2017 On 5/11/2017 at 10:25 AM, deathrey said: I know snippets but not everything and I guess I don't really want to know as it will do nothing but anger me and I don't think that's a useful emotion to have when I can't really do anything with the anger. I know he's saying I'm a stubborn little bitch that doesn't listen to anyone, which is obviously proved true by this situation haha. When I sit and think about what's happening for more than 10 minutes I do get very angry, so I try not to think about it and get on with my life, focus on the positives as they say. He's been very clever and said different things to different people to push on the buttons he knows will anger that specific individual. He's a pretty pathetic individual who needs to get a life if his own, he's 33 years old for heaven's sake. It seems it's a hardcore of 3 or 4 people that are particularly angry and everyone else is going along with the crowd to some extent (not that that is any excuse for their behaviour) but I understand how mob mentality works and it's hard to be the one that doesn't go with the crowd for a lot of people. I obviously just don't mean very much to any of them. I do believe that what's goes around comes around so if they want to keep behaving like this, it's only going to come back and bite them in the arse one day, I just have to be patient till that day comes - and it will come. Otherwise I have lots of dirt on all of them, I've been tempted to spill the beans.... I have joked to my other half that if my cousin does anything, I'm going to report it to the police as an honour crime and get a restraining order on him. Though I think he's all talk and not a lot of action. Call his bluff and get the restraining order anyway....that'll be an interesting talking point post wedding! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK Kat Von D Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 The ex walked out on me a few weeks back with hardly any explanation and has refused to speak to me. She's made friends with some new girl who I reckon filled her head with stuff, either that or there is someone else. Its her birthday this weekend and I'd saved up a few grand to treat her, which I've spent on coke and strippers. I've relapsed pretty hard which is the most annoying thing. Thought I was better than this but I'm back to my old ways. Everything is all pretty shit even though I've got a lot of good stuff going on. Objectivly I should be stoked on life, my studio is going great and I'm on the covers of skin deep and total tattoo this month. I'm about to go to LA to soon but I'm still just feeling sorry for myself and self medicating. I should just man up really but I've taken this pretty hard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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