Dreams.

[WyattSheepMask]

I had a dream a months ago that Alan Shearer was trying steal my car.

What he would with a 2004 Nissan Micra, I've no idea

[Alex Wright Mark]

I had a weird dream.

 

It was yet another dream where I was back at school, and I was doing my Maths GCSES. Now in real life, I am terrible at Maths, and in dream world it was no exception. My teacher who was some bloke in Rizzle Kicks encouraged me. "Don't let your fear of numbers get the better of you! BE THE NUMBERS". After finishing my exam, I'm on the staircase reading such women's magazines as Take A Break and Grazia, before handing them back to my former music teacher, who was okay. I felt a bit randy, so I worked my magic which has worked on such ladies as former Nuts Magazine model Eva Wyrwal (in a dream I had in 2009 of course). "Do you know how many lads I get seducing me with women's magazines? Loads!" She tells me she lives in Jushin Liger's house, and she'll see me later. Get in, I guess.

 

Later that day, and it's another Maths lesson. I'm sitting with the only classmates that didn't turn out to be Britain First sharing pricks on Facebook. "Mate, distract matey from Rizzle Kicks whilst I draw something hilarious on yhe board" James Cordon (not THAT cunt) told me. I was game. I couldn't wait to laugh at what I assumed was a big penis with semen spurting out of the japs eye. So I go to the Rizzle Kicks guy and Alex Wright in WCW dance. "You're distracting the lesson, Dan mate" he said as he was helping some girls out. I yelled "Jah, get jiggy with it" as I was looking at my mate drawing on the board. Rizzle Kicks man grabbed me by the shirt and said "You're bang out of order! I just want to teach!" My mate had finished by then as Rizzle Kicks was dragging me out of the room. I saw the picture he drew. "A PLAYBOY LOGO!?! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!?!" I put my neck on the line just so he could draw a harmless soft porn logo! I was cross. I walked up and down the corridor. Disappointed at what I had just done. The classroom had two doors, so I opened the other one, and chatted to my other mates about current affairs. Up above was a screen similar to the one above the titantron on WWE TV. They were showing movie trailers. There was a film based on a gumball rally in which they were all stuck in Yorkshire starring Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Vin Diesel and The UK Will Smith himself Richard Blackwood. "It's Richard Blackwood! He's bouncing back! He's fucking bouncing back" I yelled on excitement.

 

Then I woke up. Probably the dream of the year so far.

[Chest Rockwell]

That's a good dream.

 

You watch too much telly though.

[Juan Manforce]

I had to leave work early yesterday because I was sick, probably unrelated but I was also feeling a bit stressed about the job too, I just started a few weeks ago and want to make sure I don't fuck things up. Anyway, the dream I had last night involved me feeling stressed about work, so I decided to pull a sickie the next day and go out with my mates to do whatever seemed like a laugh. I don't remember a whole lot about it apart from us ending up in some club and me getting off with the girl I fancy IRL.

 

I wake up this morning still feeling a bit like a stale room temperature turd so I call in sick to work. Shortly after I get a text from one of my mates to see what I'm up to today. Coincidence I'm sure, but it's interesting to think what could happen if I could find the motivation to get out of bed. Probably nothing and I'd likely park a custard in the poor girl's mouth if I did end up sucking face.

[WyattSheepMask]

Richard Blackwood. "It's Richard Blackwood! He's bouncing back! He's fucking bouncing back" I yelled on excitement.

 

He's bouncing back inads for Burger King at the moment

[bAzTNM#1]

Getting a dream a lot recently in which I'm naked and walking down the road. Everybody just waving at me and said "Hi Baz! Hows it hanging?".

 

I hope it's a fucking dream.

[Ian 86]

another strange one last night.

 

I was with some guys from school (we're 28 now) sitting in some guy's garden looking up at a massive fir tree.  It took a while to get the context but it turned out we needed to remove it and, after a small discussion about pulling it up with a car or cutting it down, we decided to set it on fire and proceeded to cover it in some sort of flammable liquid using the little lighter fluid bottles you see when wrestlers set tables on fire except these managed to cover this massive tree while we were sitting on the floor.

We lit the corner using one of those long clicker lighter things and sat back waiting for it to go up (maturely recording it on our phones) but it didn't. The corner we lit burnt but the rest of it didn't until the flame really slowly started to spread until the whole thing was eventually alight, but more 'glowing' that actually on fire - the whole thing was actually quite disappointing.

 

Then there was a noise behind us and a policeman came in who lectured us about starting fires and told us he could arrest us all but wouldn't have time to deal with it until after Christmas so we'd be held in custody, or we could pay a standard £250 'fire fine' between the 8 or 9 of us that were there and the whole issue would go away. Obviously we said we'd pay and then he said how the £250 was just the fine and to make it go away we'd have to pay his 'fee' as well but he never explained what or how much that was going to be because the guy who owned the place came in and started crying about his tree because he didn't want us to get rid of it anymore and ranted about the ash in his shed (the whole time the tree was still alight but not really burning).

 

While he was ranting the other guys went into the house so I went after them to collect the money. I found three of them in a room and the first guy had a wallet open with about £200 visible in it but was arguing he only had £25. The second had £30 and the third £20. I told them that it was BS as I could see their cash so wasn't going to bail them out and stormed out moaning something about being taken for a c*nt by idiots.  Then my alarm went off and I woke up.

 

I haven't seen the other guys since we left school 12 years ago and we weren't mates so them being part of this was really bizarre - I don't think we're even Facebook friends.

[Ladiesman345]

I had a dream about a girl I really like. We were walking in a shopping centre with our hands in each others back pockets. Not the most difficult dream to make sense of, obviously.

[Astro Hollywood]

Last night, I was surfing all around the streets on top of a van like Teen Wolf. I was making loads of noise as I sped past, with my whooping and the screeching of tires. I think the van was self-driving. People were shouting out of their windows stuff like "We're trying to get some bloody kip in here, you idiot!" and "It's 4am" but I kept surfing through the town. Then Phil Mitchell walked into the middle of the road, causing the van to screech to a sudden halt and me to fall off.

 

Phil Mitchell was in a lady's nightie. He said "Naff off with this noisy nonsense," locked one end of a pair of handcuffs around the steering wheel, then hitched up his nightie and locked the other end right around his bollocks. No more van surfing for me

[Guy Bifkin]

I have been taking the "Alpha Brain" supplement for a few months now. To be honest I haven't noticed much improvement in creativity, mental function or athletic performance. However, my dreams have gone a bit mental... in a good way. Without going into specifics, one thing I have noticed is that I'm not dreaming about people I know or famous people like I normally would, but rather "inventing" for want of a better word, layered, out there characters that populate my dreams now. It's very interesting and the only thing it's worth taking the supplement for. Anyone else tried it?

[King Coconut]

Last night...

I think we've all had that one.

[Surf Digby]

I have been taking the "Alpha Brain" supplement for a few months now.

The what now?

[Loki]

Fish oil.

[LaGoosh]

The other night I dreamt that I carved off chunks of my own jaw, fried them and ate them and it tasted really nice and I went around telling everyone else to give it a go. I've googled "self cannibalism dreams" to try and find some deeper meaning of it but haven't found anything so far.

[King Coconut]

I would imagine the trick is not to carve off so much that you have difficulty eating.