Childhood Misconceptions

[Tommy!]

2 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I used to think cordon bleu was a chef called Gordon Bleu. My mum still winds me up about that.

I'm sure I've said before on here how everyone would go on about "Soccer AM" and I couldn't understand why this French football show "sacré ém" was so popular.

No doubt I always also pair this with always subbing Graeme LeSaux every England game in FIFA 96 because he sounded too french to be playing for England.

[Keith Houchen]

15 minutes ago, Tommy! said:

No doubt I always also pair this with always subbing Graeme LeSaux every England game in FIFA 96 because he sounded too french to be playing for England

That’s amazing!

[waters44]

I remember for a few years thinking soaps were real. I was constantly worried that people in my street would die and there would be car crashes etc all the time because that’s what happened in Walford

When the plane crashed in Emmerdale in the early 90s me and a mate got on our bikes the next morning and went looking for the wreckage. 

Also remember watching Noel’s House Party and just being so confused about Mr Blobby. Was he from outer space? Had someone had a bad accident? Were they born like that? I was scared shitless of him

[textonly]

Strange, niche Catholicism one here, almost impossible to describe adequately, based on two things. Firstly, for the part of the liturgy where the priest says, "lift up your hearts" (response: "we lift them up to the Lord), my priest had a thick Irish accent and I always thought he was saying, "lift up your arse". Secondly, in my church we there was a little decorative part in the ceiling that looked to me like some kind of portal to Heaven. So somehow I developed this vision that, when we die, our spirits float up, arse-first (as if our ghosts are trying to touch their toes as they ascend), and enter Heaven backwards through that little portal on the ceiling. That's how I thought people went to Heaven. I would have been very young, but there was definitely a decent amount of time spent believing that before it clicked that I was just mishearing him.

[DavidB6937]

1 hour ago, textonly said:

Strange, niche Catholicism one here, almost impossible to describe adequately, based on two things. Firstly, for the part of the liturgy where the priest says, "lift up your hearts" (response: "we lift them up to the Lord), my priest had a thick Irish accent and I always thought he was saying, "lift up your arse". 

I mean there's always a chance you didn't mishear him.

[Scratch]

I can’t think of any as a child, but I’ll always remember the time someone on a podcast I was listening to a few years back kept talking how their kids loved Paw Patrol and how great is was, and being totally amazed about 6 months later to find out it was about fluffy animals and not a troll with little money.

[SuperBacon]

38 minutes ago, Scratch said:

I can’t think of any as a child, but I’ll always remember the time someone on a podcast I was listening to a few years back kept talking how their kids loved Paw Patrol and how great is was, and being totally amazed about 6 months later to find out it was about fluffy animals and not a troll with little money.

Pauper Troll is something I would watch.

[BomberPat]

9 hours ago, waters44 said:

Also remember watching Noel’s House Party and just being so confused about Mr Blobby. Was he from outer space? Had someone had a bad accident? Were they born like that? I was scared shitless of him

Absolutely creased up at work trying to imagine the kind of accident someone would have to fall victim to that would make them completely Blobbied.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

I'm with you on that Scratch, not Paw Patrol, but hearing the name of a show and it registering as something completely different. I used to think that there was a TV programme called Celebrity Jews, which in my mind was like Made In Chelsea or TOWIE or one of those programmes, detailing the glamorous lives of Jewish celebrities and their children. I never saw it written down, I only ever heard it. Then I heard it was on ITV 2, so it definitely marked itself down in the list of things I never needed to see. Turns out I was right about that part at least because of the presence of the pair of absolute arsewipes Keith Lemon and Fearne Cotton.  Turns out the second word was Juice, not Jews. 

[DavidB6937]

8 minutes ago, BomberPat said:

Absolutely creased up at work trying to imagine the kind of accident someone would have to fall victim to that would make them completely Blobbied.

It was the 'were they born like that?' that got me this morning. As if Blobby was a perfectly normal man in his younger years who just really liked pink and yellow and wearing a bow tie, and then that bastard Noel Edmonds got a hold of him and ran some freaky experiments on him in that house while everyone else was partying.

[Hannibal Scorch]

19 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

I think I've told this one before but it's worth repeating because of what a fucking little berk I was.

Until I was probably about 8 I thought the world used to be black and white. Because of the films. That bit in The Wizard of Oz where it becomes colourised? That's when I thought the world found colour.

Then I was watching the Laurel & Hardy film Saps at Sea one day and during one scene there's a can of paint labelled 'Red Paint' and then the penny dropped. I'm just thankful I never told anyone my theory because I'd definitely have had to move schools.

On a similar note when my dad used to talk about his childhood I thought his world was black and white because all the films and TV shows he watched and showed me were. And then sometime in the late 60’s the world became colourised. I still remember seeing the trailer for Pleasentville and thinking that was what had happened in a way.

I also remember a school trip to an old people’s home for Harvest Festival. Meeting all the residents like George, Gladys, Henry, Doris etc and coming home and asking my parents at what age we get to change our name to an old persons one. I was 5, so cut me some slack.

[BomberPat]

the closest to thinking everything was black and white was just not having a sense of how long ago any bit of history was. My Gran got really offended because I asked her what it was like in Victorian times, but I just sort of assumed that was generically The Past, rather than a specific, quite long period of time ago, and it was before now but after properly ancient history so it must have been when old people had grown up.

A stupid nerdy one is that I could never understand why you could buy the same games for Nintendo and Sega consoles, because those companies obviously hated each other. I sort of understood that there were companies other than those two that made games for their consoles, but it still just didn't add up to me, so I distinctly remember sitting in Ritz Video looking at a SNES version of a game I'd played on the Mega Drive and reasoning that Nintendo must have spent spies to steal the idea of the game from Sega.

[Supremo]

Not exactly on topic, but I spent my entire childhood not realising you could fold a Crunch Corner yoghurt, to mix the fillings. Never even crossed my mind. A blind spot both me and my family had. Literally eighteen years of my life scooping chocolate cornflakes from one section to the other, like a fucking mug. Can only imagine the total amount of time of my life I wasted.

I spent four years at University. I can honestly say the most important lesson I learnt was on my first night in halls, when I saw my flatmate fold his Crunch Corner as he sat in the kitchen. Nearly fell off my chair.

[Carbomb]

42 minutes ago, Supremo said:

Not exactly on topic, but I spent my entire childhood not realising you could fold a Crunch Corner yoghurt, to mix the fillings. Never even crossed my mind. A blind spot both me and my family had. Literally eighteen years of my life scooping chocolate cornflakes from one section to the other, like a fucking mug. Can only imagine the total amount of time of my life I wasted.

I spent four years at University. I can honestly say the most important lesson I learnt was on my first night in halls, when I saw my flatmate fold his Crunch Corner as he sat in the kitchen. Nearly fell off my chair.

Initially, I thought this was odd, as the very first Muller Fruit Corner adverts had the folding over thing as their gimmick, but now I think about it, a lot of the adverts since then just show them dipping the spoon in one section then the other, so I can see how that would happen.

[SuperBacon]

Yeah those Muller wankers* didn't help themselves when they showed absolute WRONGUNS putting yoghurt in the fruit bit instead of the correct way.

 

*took away the Kiwi one. Pricks.