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[Keith Houchen]

You mean you haven’t deliberately let your messenger inbox fill up so nobody can send you any more messages? Weirdo. 

[Thunderplex]

4 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

You mean you haven’t deliberately let your messenger inbox fill up so nobody can send you any more messages? Weirdo. 

Shit, outed!

[RancidPunx]

On 12/25/2021 at 9:26 PM, Nick James said:

 

 

Similarly with the hair, my son has shoulder length hair that is quite curly, the older end of the family used to pester us to get it cut etc which caused a lot of tension.

 

On what planet does someone who is not a parent of the person in question have an opinion or direction  on what haircut they should get.

 

i’d tell them to fuck off so quick…..

 

Me and my wife get “teased” at family get togethers for not having built or bought a house yet. We are 4 years married……

 

[Divorced Dad]

Couldn't find the Mental Health thread so thought this might be the next best place.

I got signed off work in October as I felt work was having a negative effect on my mental health. I'm due to return to work tomorrow to begin my phased return and I'm absolutely dreading it. 

My work have made some allowances for my return so instead of going back into the class I was teaching before (I'm a primary school teacher) I'll be covering other peoples classes instead as there's far less work involved for that. I'd emailed earlier in the week asking if I needed to plan or if plans would be left for me and my Headteacher got back to me just before 6PM today with an answer after leaving me to stress about it all week.

I don't know if I feel completely ready to return to work but also don't know if I'd ever feel ready to return to this workplace as its becoming increasingly toxic and not what I want.

[Keith Houchen]

13 minutes ago, Divorced Dad said:

I don't know if I feel completely ready to return to work but also don't know if I'd ever feel ready to return to this workplace as its becoming increasingly toxic and not what I want.

I think this might be the key to everything here, I can’t imagine the stress and anxiety of being a teacher in the current climate but maybe this particular school might be the bigger cause of the problem. Either way, if you know you aren’t ready then you aren’t ready and you should try not to feel any guilt about that. 

[Nexus]

My thought would be if you're essentially doing supply at the school that's making you so sad, maybe think about just doing generic supply? You can then experience different school cultures without the pressure. Obviously it's very much more hit and miss from a stability perspective, but it might let you keep doing the job, but outside of the toxic workplace. 

[Divorced Dad]

I've considered supply but unsure how stable the income would be and as the main earner with a 1 year old at home I need a steady income.

I've got a few different options to consider:

1. Stay at the same school and see how it goes

2. Stay at the school but go down to working 4 days for a better work/life balance.

3. Get a job at a different school and see if it's teaching in general I feel disillusioned with or just this particular school.

4. Quit my job at this school and do supply for a period but income might not be steady.

5. Quit my job and leave teaching and do something else (although I don't feel qualified enough/like I've got the skills to do anything else or that I could get a job that pays the same as now)

Edited January 6, 2022 by Divorced Dad

[DavidB6937]

My friend has been a teacher on and off for a few years now. It's been an uphill struggle for her with the pressure and anxiety and general stress of the job etc.

What I've noticed with her is really how she's trying to work out whether it's the job causing the anxiety or the anxiety causing the job to be stressful.

She's tried a number of different schools. From what I can tell its never a relaxing job wherever you go and there's always going to be that element of pressure and stress and it's almost just like transferring the problem from one school to another. But only the individual can really decide if its the job that's the problem or the specific school or if its a more personal issue.

Starting again is never easy, especially when you do have responsibilities and you can't just go out in the world and do whatever you want without a care. That adds a lot to the pressure etc.

If anything I'd sit down and do something as simple as a pros and cons list. At least try to pinpoint the exact issues and the root cause of them. It's not easy but there's no point moving elsewhere or just slightly changing hours etc if really you're still going to carry the main issues with you. And yeah you'll probably never feel "ready" and the more you keep away the harder it'll be and that's tough.

Have a look around. See what options there are. Places do offer training etc if you're worried about qualifications. But also realise that you'll have a lot of transferable skills from what you're doing and it's as much about selling yourself as anything else.

[Mr_Danger]

20 minutes ago, Divorced Dad said:

 

5. Quit my job and leave teaching and do something else (although I don't feel qualified enough/like I've got the skills to do anything else or that I could get a job that pays the same as now)

Not hugely helpful in the here and now but if you do end up going with this option then you should consider getting on the post. I work on the post with quite a lot of people who come from university educated jobs, teaching, social services, healthcare etc. As far as I can tell the money isn’t a big drop off and they all say it’s a breeze compared to their old jobs. Well apart from one of the former social workers who quit to work in a garage shop. I’m not a complete postie shill, it’s just that I work with a former teacher who was very much in a similar position to you.

[Fatty Facesitter]

Just on the teaching posts in here - my brother was in a similar situation. Loves working in the education sector and loved teaching but was hampered by working in some poorly run schools and the various stresses/strains that come with it all. 

However, it might be that there are some alternative jobs within the education sector. Case in point, he now works as an IT coordinator and app developer for staff training purposes. Appreciate it isn’t as black and white as “Go and become a computer expert instead” but something to consider - it’s possible there are other ways you can contribute to the sector if you’re passionate about it without having to be a teacher in the traditional sense. 

[patiirc]

Things have gone spectacularly tits up in the last few months. I've been off work with Tendon Damage to my shoulder after an innocuous fall at home. My Ex Partner has stolen 1500 quid, done a bunk just before Xmad and I've had to Clare's Law her, report her to the Police and then through things discussed with them she may get further charges relating to prolonged Domestic abuse 

I've not been sleeping well, not eating and have been incredibly stressed. I've been put on Beta Blockers, Meal Replacement Drinks and Sleeping Tablets. 

Yesterday, work decided to also try the 'we're looking to sack you trick,' email sent to my personal email on late Friday for a Monday meeting.. (Yeah, I see what you're doing there.) through incapability despite offering nothing to rehabilitate or aid with return to work.

This is despite them literally running schemes about workplace health and wellbeing (luls). They've done  nothing around DV which they knew about from my previous Landlord trying to sexually assault me and my Stalker returning, and now the current situation either especially as working from Home.

The last 11 months have been a complete nightmare to be honest. 2 moves, on top

Mentally I'm holding up okayish considering, as I've sadly been through a lot of this before (back injury , previous abusive relationships) 

I'd wouldn't mind a break from the stress at somepoint. Be nice to have some normality. 

Instead, Police statements today, Possible Escorted visit for her tomorrow if she turns up, then ACAS, my union etc on Monday. 

If anyone has any decent employment in the home, laws/rights links or employers duties to employees in the home or DV related stuff that would be most helpful. 

Same regards what happens from arrest to court and any experience with small claims 

I'd also like to know what my whistleblowing rights or going to the press rights are due to the ongoing treatment by work. 

Finally any help on negotiating a pay off would be useful. It's clear they dont want me. I'd take a pay off, but would have to include the lack of them following any health and safety at work protocols and trying to sack me whilst actively being at risk of DV in the workplace (home) and them doing literally nothing about it and the potential of avoiding a possible IT. 

Many Thanks 

 

[Jazzy G]

Bloody hell, that's a pretty rough month. 

[patiirc]

51 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said:

Bloody hell, that's a pretty rough month. 

Yeah, things could be better

[Jazzy G]

I'll bet. 

[Chili]

Bump. 

I start cognitive behavioural therapy tomorrow. I know it'll help, but generally I find it a bit upsetting. Maybe down to just finding that stuff all a bit enormous. 

Might be alright.