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Bad day at the office?


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Still have nightmares about this


Working in newspaper print warehouse, I was on forklift duty and using the grabber to bring down the next roll of paper.

Trouble with the grabber is if you squeeze too hard you damage the roll and it won't fit on the printing press, so after positioning the grabber carefully on the top roll I lifted clean... no problems

Started driving towards the press with this 2 ton roll of paper lifted 20 foot high... you know where this is going

The noise of the impact on the ground was like a bomb went off, but the worse was still to come as it proceeded to roll towards the water tank and cause what I was told was £1m worth of damage & for 3 months we were running at half capacity

Somehow, I didn't even get a formal warning



Video because it's a bit niche and you may not have seen one


Edited by courageous
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I used to work at a bowling alley, and one of the lads there had epilepsy, and also no big toes (amputated, but I never found out why).

So one day John* is on his way to the staff room for his lunch break and has a fit, emptying his milkshake into the photocopier in the process. 

Management made it very clear that they weren't happy with him, and seemed even more unhappy that they couldn't punish him for it.


*His real name.

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Worked in a call center that did time-share swapping holidays and  also did flights, car hire, insurance, the works.. This is 2001.


Anyways its the last hour of my last day , working the evening shift on a friday night.

I get this c*unt of a woman who wants to book everything with me for a trip for 6 people but she can only leave in the next few days, i do a search and boom i find everything she wants, all perfect. Big commission for my last paycheck too. Lovely. 

I confirm it with her, all good so i proceed to go and book it all, it honestly takes close to an hour i have her on the phone, just everything slow. She is voicing her frustration often and frequently. She is one of life’s moaners.

Finally it all goes through, all booked and money taken and she is set to leave for her holiday in two days time. All good. She hangs up and then boom... i notice the dates i’ve told her is not the date that I've actually booked, processed and what she has paid for. 

Its all wrong. I actually searched for the wrong month but told her another month when i was confirming .

By now, my shift is over and the managers have their coats on .

I tell the fella on duty that i’ve made a huge balls up and he thinks i am winding him up. It was a huge process to cancel once the fees had been approved. Hours of work, plus her intended dates weren’t available. Plus she had to be told.

For a finish, the manager still thought i was having a laugh and didnt even verify what i was saying. Out the door he went, off i fucked and this woman and her family and kids were going on no holiday ....


I can only imagine the carnage on the monday...

Edited by RancidPunx
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18 hours ago, Chris B said:

Looking back, the guy was also looking at a lot of Mike Awesome gifs...


It wasn't Evil Eye. It was 'Internet Exchange', but on the same street as Evil Eye. I used to go into Evil Eye as well - loved that place. It was half an opium den, half an internet cafe. They had some stools and desks, along with a four poster bed and sofas. They sold cajun popcorn, which was amazing. They also sold a 'death shot', which was half Russian Black Vodka and half absinthe. Made me pissed from the legs up - I was doing fine until I got off the stool. 

I last went to Evil Eye around 6 or 7 years ago at a guess. They had some good import bottles just before the huge craft boom and their signature spicy Thai rice and noodles dishes were absolutely brilliant. I usually sat in the back courtyard, as the bed situation upstairs was too weird for me. Not sure if Neil was there at the time, didn’t see anyone waking though.

Did it close down?

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1 hour ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Such is the quality of this thread, I still can't decide if this is worse than sitting in someone else's cum.

Definitely the latter.

Supplies and machinery can be replaced. The memory of sitting in a grotty, cum-soaked seat, probably not so.

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On 3/24/2021 at 2:16 PM, Scott Malbranque said:

Every day is a bad day at the office for me in this current place of employ.
The main reason being that little rat in my office who whistles all day, eats apples, ends every single sentence with a condescending question mark inflection and clicks his fingers when he stands up to walk - and turns a corner or goes through a door - like he was in West Side Story.
He bought a 2011 Skoda Octavia last week because - and I quote - "It shows my progression in society?". He also said to one of the girls here "As you can see, I keep myself very fit?" because he goes for a walk with his dog in the evenings.

And, even though myself and a couple of others here know that he ate an apple that I wiped a days worth of arse on, it doesn't help or placate me in any way.

Also, he's a grass and a brown nose to anyone in an authoritative position within the company. A lass - sound, bubbly, chatty, funny (which he took umbrage with) - started in November. Made her life hell and had her sacked before Christmas.

Every day, I have to look at that little shitebah. And I hate being angry, because that's not me and the fact I'm angry and letting that energy out of me, angers me even more, but for some reason this lad really gets me wound up, literally the guts of 9 hours a day. Just the sight of the Oxo slurping bastard.

Rent free. With supper.

I was searching for The Office thread and found this one and thought I'd have a read through it, and have been cry laughing at this again for a good 20 minutes. 

@Scott Malbranque Again, I'm sorry but I love how much you hate him. Please post an update.

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Apologies, Rashers. I’ve been swamped up me plums in it and only getting around to replying now.
Right, even reading back on what I’d wrote there gave me the Hank Evans’. What an awful little, insufferable cunt he is.
So, a brief update on this lad:
***Any question mark you see at the end of a sentence, is verbatim, because everything out of the insufferable little shitepipe’s mouth is stamped with a question mark inflection.

So his missus is about 6 weeks out from having their first sprog, and you’d swear this cunt was the first cunt to ever father a bin lid.
He was on the blower to a customer, and this was the conversation:
“Rachel…umm…my partner? My partner is with child, so we’re expecting at the tail end of June?”
With child. With bastard child!

“I’ll have to temper my gym work while we – and number 3 – adapt to our new situation?”
It was then, that if ever I was going to throw piping hot black coffee into anyone’s face – that was that moment.

Ah hold on Rashers, there’s far too much…I’m recording a voicey on this so yiz can try and grasp what my poor head is dealing with.







Truth is, I'm not a bad person, I really aren't - and I'm hope in the name of what the good Universe gives us, I'm not a bad person - but this lad turns me into the absolute worst version of myself.


Sorry, but GDPR is null and void. He literally picks his hooter and mills the contents.


This car is also too small for him, his partner and their child:


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Fucking hell, if someone said "with child" to me I think I'd laugh in their face involuntarily. I'm not a confrontational person, it wouldn't be intentional, it would just happen reflexively I think. What a turd, thank you for sharing that.

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