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VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented


Frankie Crisp

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The Phantom of the Open (cinema)

If Craig Roberts can make a film about golf this interesting and funny then that instantly makes him one of the best young directors in the world. So he'll be on the next Marvel film, then.

Howl (2015) (Prime)

Absolutely shite British horror film set on a train with some decent werewolf effects and a funny ending and absolutely nothing else going for it. Wretched.

The Quick and the Dead (Netflix)

Decent western, not a great deal going on with it aside from Gene Hackman being the best as usual. Pretty funny to see DiCaprio chasing a woman double his age though.

Bullitt (ok.ru)

Gave this another spin after the news that Spielberg's doing a film with the same character. Still brilliant, deserves much better than to just be remembered for its (excellent) car chase.

Aliens (ok.ru)

#JusticeForGorman

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Sonic The Hedgehog. 
 

Good harmless fun. Jim Carrey was lapping it up like it was the 90s and Sonic was likeable. Much much better than that new Spider-Man film I also watched, even Raimi era characters couldn’t save that dross. 

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CODA (Apple TV) what a lovely film which set me off on more then one occasion. Deserves the plaudits it’s gotten, but feel will be ignored at the Oscars. Glad the wife chose this over Jackass Forever, which I loved, but didn’t get me as teary as this did.

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Watched Wall E today. Enjoyed it, not my favourite Pixar film, but it was good enough fun. Should have had some clips of Michael Crawford in Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em instead of Hello Dolly. I did think , that spaceship where everyone's fat and happy floating around on big chairs not having to do anything... that's seemed pretty great right? I'd have been furious to have to go back an toil the land.

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The Worst Person in the World (cinema)

I loved this. All about someone struggling to figure out how they fit in the world and relate to others, and what relationships mean to them - described as a coming of age movie for grown-ups, and that makes sense. Great central performances, and a nicely grown-up film about sex and relationships too.

X (cinema)

Mean-spirited, and seeing it immediately after the one above was a bit of a whiplash - but some really fun bits in it. It's clearly been made with love for the genre, with plenty of both Psycho and Texas Chain Saw Massacre in there, and there are some nice bits that subvert expectations, but it suffers from bad old-people makeup and slightly weird attitudes towards older people as well. I liked it but could have loved it.

 

Finally, I can't remember who referenced mid-2000s arthouse movies as being all 'someone standing in front of wallpaper that their outfit matches' (I think it was Pitcos?), but the poster for an upcoming film called True Things really reminded me of this:

MV5BYzZiMTU0YjAtZmVhNC00YmJlLThhNDItMGY3MmNjMTI2NDEwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjMwNjQxNTA@._V1_.thumb.jpg.f2bb3423cadd33cba1a6ca15e50bb2f7.jpg

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Jackass Forever is the feel good film of the year. Just a riot from start to finish. Howling with laughter at the opening and my girlfriend just looks at me like I’m a piece of shit and says “This is just stupid”. She’s not wrong and it’s all the better for it. I like all the new members and feel like they all added something without it feeling like Saved by the Bell : The New Class. Poopies being the stand out by seeming like he was the most natural fit for Jackass whilst coming across like he’d never seen Jackass. They could make another 4 of these if they keep bringing in sound members to share the brutality and just concentrate more on the gross stuff themselves.

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The Worst Person in the World  - Absolutely brilliant. Up there with Licorice Pizza and Drive My Car as the best films of this year. Loved it. The hype is real

CODA - I do not get the love this is getting. Its OK and that's about it. It has one genuinely great moment, but its surrounded by pretty average stuff. Fair play to anyone who liked it, but I can see this being a 'That won best picture?' film in about 4 years.

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The Accountant

 Stupid, a bit all over the place but still entertaining enough I guess. I didn't hate it but it was a bad film. It has lots of good actors who didn't get enough to do with their roles, and then Ben Affleck in the lead who is still a really shit actor, I don't care what at anyone else says.

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4 minutes ago, Chest Rockwell said:

The Accountant

 Stupid, a bit all over the place but still entertaining enough I guess. I didn't hate it but it was a bad film. It has lots of good actors who didn't get enough to do with their roles, and then Ben Affleck in the lead who is still a really shit actor, I don't care what at anyone else says.

The List Of Jericho GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

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X (cinema)

Yeeeeeeeah, it's ok. Really, the only reason this is getting creamed over is because horror is in such an awful trench right now. There's nothing here you haven't seen a ton of times before but it's slickly done and considering it's a Ti West film, does well not to be hideously terrible. Cast are great too, Mia Goth deserves bigger and better than this by now.

The Bad Guys (cinema)

Maybe the weirdest mainstream animated film I've seen since Storks. Which was ace, I should mention (again). Pretty funny and fairly different until reverting to standard for its final third.

China O'Brien (YouTube)

Cynthia Rothrock never got much of a decent chance from America to become as big a star as she should have been after her awesome Hong Kong work, but this is one of her better American ones. Richard Norton's facial hair is an absolute disgrace though.

Free Fire 

Still farrrrrrrrrrr and away Ben Wheatley's best film. Until The Meg 2 comes out obvs. Sharlto Copley and his fucking cardboard armour still makes me piss myself.

Death Weekend (YouTube)

Superb Canadian house invasion thriller, practically unheard of these days but one of the best examples of these rape-revenge things I've seen. It's normally a genre I hate but this is smart and well written.

 

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6 hours ago, Devon Malcolm said:

 

Free Fire 

Still farrrrrrrrrrr and away Ben Wheatley's best film. Until The Meg 2 comes out obvs. Sharlto Copley and his fucking cardboard armour still makes me piss myself.

 

Somebody obviously hasn’t seen that he has “Untitled ‘Ideal’ film” on his IMDB. It’s about time Johnny Vegas got some big screen action. 

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1 hour ago, Mr_Danger said:

Somebody obviously hasn’t seen that he has “Untitled ‘Ideal’ film” on his IMDB. It’s about time Johnny Vegas got some big screen action. 

That's been on there for about 8 years, along with that Freakshift film about giant crabs he's supposed to be doing with Alicia Vikander. 

 

 

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The Phantom Of The Open - Lovely little British comedy based on a true story of the worlds (possibly) worst golfer. Mark Rylance and Sally Hawkins are their usual great selves in a film directed by Craig Roberts written by Simon Farnaby. Recommended.

Ambulance - Like a live action film based on a mission from the Grand Theft Auto games. Way way too long, but really enjoyed this and had some great stunts. A decent film by Michael Bay.

Morbius - Absolute dogshit. Jarred Letto is the drizzling shits in everything. Matt Smith isn't much better. Jarred Harris is underused. Avoid. 

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