VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[SaitoRyo]

Mutant 

Low-budged mid-80s hickspoloitation horror. Two brothers get stranded in a small Texas (I think?) town, where toxic waste is turning the residents into zombie-like creatures (who act like vampires). It is what it is. Nothing amazing, but entertaining enough. Reminded me a little bit of The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue/Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. Bo Hopkins rocks up as the sheriff, because he always does in these sorts of things, doesn't he? 

[SoloJones]

Saw The Drama and really enjoyed it. Like someone else mentioned, it's hard to say too much without spoilers, but Zendaya and Robert Pattison (who I'm not sure I've actually seen a movie of his before, somehow) were both fantastic. The tone shifting worked for me too, with some big laughs especially in the photographer scene.

[SaitoRyo]

Runaway

Daft 80s sci-fi fun, written and directed by Michael Crichton.

In 'the future', robots are being programmed agaisnt people and it is up to Magnum AI himself, Tom Selleck, to stop them. The sort of movie where the police chief randomy brings in a psychic in an effort to crack the case and Gene Simmons plays the bad guy. I had a good time.

[Onyx2]

3 hours ago, SaitoRyo said:

Magnum AI

Outstanding.

[Mr_Danger]

Thrash. The secret sauce for these films is that the viewer has to suspend disbelief just enough to believe that whilst the events on screen would never happen they could actually happen. Flying hurricane electro sharks? Nope. Ravenous sharks swarming a flooded town where a lorry full of gabbagool has spilled out? I’m all in. This film straddles that line perfectly and has loads of fun moments and cool kills. Well worth a go.

[Merzbow]

The Stranger, a surprisingly straight forward but absolutely beautiful slow burn adaptation of the Camus book of the same name. I haven't seen much talk about it, aside from Kermode totally not understanding Camus at all which is weird as I thought he'd be a pretentious French philosophy fanboy. Well worth seeking out if there's a cinema showing it near by.

Avatar: Aang, The Last Airbender, don't ask how I saw this before the October release.. I'm pretty sure it's online everywhere now though. The original show was an early Covid era binge and I didn't expect to love it so much, this is pretty much a series super condensed in to 90 minutes and set years after the original show, good fun and looks gorgeous. Toph is still the coolest.

[SaitoRyo]

Finding Graceland

Harvey Keitel is the eccentric drifter who claims to be Elvis Presley and hitches a ride to Graceland with a young man dealing with a recent tragedy.

Fun, quirky indie road trip movie. Keitel is really good in it and makes you believe that he believes he's the real thing. Fine Sunday evening fare and a recommended watch for fans of The King.

[LaGoosh]

On 4/17/2026 at 1:26 AM, Mr_Danger said:

Ravenous sharks swarming a flooded town where a lorry full of gabbagool has spilled out?

Gabbagool?

Over here!

[JLM]

Lee Cronin's The Mummy

This was very very not good indeed. Right up there on the not good scale. I didn't mind the idea of a family getting their missing daughter back but alas she is The Mummy. This is not really a Mummy movie at all though. It's a very by the numbers possession/Exorcism type deal and I felt a bit conned because I usually can't be arsed with those. It also has a brief go at being Bring Her Back and explores the idea of how losing a child impacts the parents and the damage grief can do. It does that for about five minutes.

It also goes for a darkly comedic tone sometimes but then the music will go up to 12 (louder than 11) to let you know  it is also meant to be VERY SERIOUS AND SCARY. Very hard to know what it was going for from moment to moment, but there were several bits that were definitely not meant to be funny but made me laugh out loud. Not least of these was the doctor reintroducing the parents to their EXTREMELY fucked up mummy-child, "Prepare yourself for what you're about to see" is his intro. He says she keeps freaking out and hurting herself and they have her under very heavy sedation but it's just barely keeping her outbursts at bay, and any noises or sudden movements or breathing in her general direction is not advised. Then he says the best thing to do would be for them to take her home and they do that. Phenomenal. 

There is one cop in the movie and she is wildly unprofessional and is happy to go waaaaay off the books for this case,  but seemingly no other emergency services exist. There are some really insane jumps forward, like they do a wake for the grandma (who was murdered in quite spectacular fashion) with loads of guests. Everything kicks off, demon children get buck wild, a priest gets his face bitten off. Then it cuts to the family later that same evening alone in the house. Scenes missing, or they have a truly snitch-free social circle.

One hysterical scene where the mummy-child is strapped into a chair levitating up and down, bouncing hard enough to shake the house while also making her brother smash his head against a bed post. Meanwhile the parents are downstairs in the living room watching the exposition video tape that explains how the mummy works. Leaving the extremely dangerous demon child upstairs unsupervised after everything that's already happened absolutely slayed me. Also it is apparent from moment one of the child returning that she has become some kind of monster. After arriving home it is a non stop shit show. Early on the dad rather sensibly says that perhaps she needs more specialist care and is verbally eviscerated by the mum for suggesting it. Half an hour later when things have got REALLY REALLY REALLY bad, the mum goes "I don't think I want her here any more?".  Howled at that line. OH IS THAT RIGHT SHARON? BIT OF BRINGING-HOME-THE-MUMMY REMORSE STARTING TO KICK IN EH? 

The  big shame about the movie is that some of the effects are absolutely amazing. Extremely unsettling body horror abound, plenty of scenes that are genuinely uncomfortable to watch, but it's all completely wasted by the movie's tone being all over the place and too absurd to take seriously during the times it really wants you to. 

I'd say it veered into "so bad it's good" enough that I had a fun time with it, but even that is scuppered by the bloated run time. Two hours twenty for this is absolutely preposterous and I was feeling every minute of it by the end. 

More like Lee Crapin's The Crummy. 

Edited April 22 by JLM

[SaitoRyo]

Staying Together

Small town drama about three brothers who need to figure out who they are and what they want to do after their father unexpectedly sells the family business. 

I love a good small town drama and this one was very enjoyable. People have affairs, get married, die. You know, life stuff. It's pretty cliche heavy, as you'd expect, and you can see what's coming a mile off, but I like the familiarity of this sort of thing. Plus, this one was done in 90 minutes and Levon Helm's in it, so it had that going for it.

[Lorne Malvo]

9 hours ago, JLM said:

Lee Cronin's The Mummy

This is not really a Mummy movie at all though. It's a very by the numbers possession/Exorcism type deal and I felt a bit conned because I usually can't be arsed with those. It also has a brief go at being Bring Her Back and explores the idea of how losing a child impacts the parents and the damage grief can do. 

I've not seen it myself yet, but my mate saw it and said it was as if Lee Cronin just wanted to make another Evil Dead film but had to somehow shoehorn a Mummy plot into it. 

[LaGoosh]

A Different Man - great to see old Blacksheep Croydon regular Adam in a major film, he was brilliant. I loved this movie. Incredibly weird, unsettling, funny and disturbing in equal measures. Nice to watch something where you have no idea what's going to happen from one scene to the next. It's stayed with me afterwards, I keep thinking about it. There's a lot under the surface. The film feels to me like what happens when a character is the only sane person in a world of crazy people but actually the character is the crazy one and doesn't realise it.

Le Samouraï - watched this because it came up in the Identify The Film thread. I can see what it's going for but found this to be one of the most boring films I have perhaps ever seen. Now usually I'm a big fan of European films from the 70s where characters stand around looking depressed but tt takes literally 50 minutes for the actual plot to kick in. The first half of the film is an incredibly silly and tedious police interrogation. It barely makes sense. None of the actors/characters in this film have anything to them. They are just there. I'm very surprised this film is so well thought of as I think I hated it.

Edited April 22 by LaGoosh

[FLips]

The Untouchables
Really fancied watching this after having Ennio Morricone's "Al Capone" theme stuck in my head all week. Really enjoyed it last year when I saw it for the first time, enjoyed it probably even more this time. Great film, moves at breakneck speed and has an excellent score and great comeuppance for the main antagonists. 

"He's in the car". Classic.

Edited April 22 by FLips

[Devon Malcolm]

undertone (cinema)

Fair play to them for not making it a load of jump scares but it's also pro-life bullshit and as such can fuck off.

The Blue Trail (cinema)

Brazilian dystopian adventure about an old woman avoiding being sent off to an old person's camp. Really nicely done and quite funny in places, with a really sweet ending. A nice surprise.

Akira (cinema)

Great to see this get such a huge re-release and to see it doing so well again at the box office. Obviously a monument in animation and sci-fi, looks and sounds incredible on the big screen. Disappointed I didn't get to an IMAX screening.

Stand by Me (cinema)

The barf looks great on a big screen.

Ready or Not 2 (cinema)

Not as good as the original by some distance but just about holds its own. Its main problem is it loses its sense of humour and becomes just uncomfortably violent. Kathryn Newton is a great addition though and I hope her and Samara Weaving get another one.

Project Hail Mary (cinema)

Absolute slam-dunk of a great time. It's wise not to stray too far from The Martian in terms of its setup and while it's not quite as good and has one too many endings, it's exactly what we need cinemas for.

Wasteman

Trips over the usual prison film clichés but the central dynamic makes it so good, as do those leading performances. Turns into a psychological thriller halfway through and becomes even better for it.

Thrash

Yeah, not bad. Nowhere near as good as Crawl but it's heartening to see us getting some actual decent shark films in the last few years, and not just for @Frankie Crisp's sanity.

Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice

Also not bad but ruins itself with that late Oasis needle drop so it can fuck off. Jimmy Tatro's the best though.

Pizza Movie

Drug bore 'comedy' with none of the charms or laughs of Harold & Kumar, which it so badly wants to be. Shite.

Avengement

Excellent Scott Adkins crime-actioner that surprisingly uses the non-linear set-up better than almost everything else that uses it. Dialogue is very try-hard but this is what low budget actioners should aspire to.

Touch Me

Watched for Olivia Taylor Dudley only because I knew it would be shite and it is. 

Pretty Lethal

Probably the crappest thing 87North have made so far. The concept is so stupid (ballerinas trapped in some bar owned by drug dealers in Slovakia or somewhere) that the action needed to be incredible to get over it, and it just isn't. Waste of a great cast, especially Millicent Simmonds. Disappointing.

The Sea Wolf (1941)

Awesome The Bounty-esque adventure with Edward G. Robinson playing a nasty bastard even by his standards. So well acted and unpredictable, just my sort of thing.

Ice Cold in Alex

Probably the best desert war film ever made, apart from Lawrence of Arabia.

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)

One of the bleakest war films I've ever seen, which is saying something. Still looks and sounds incredible despite being nearly 100 years old. That ending stays with you. Stunning film.

Day of the Animals

'Nature gone mad' horror film with Leslie Nielsen playing a really enjoyable nasty piece of work and some genuinely decent-looking animal attacks. Dumb fun.

Sudden Death (the Van Damme one)

This has always been one of my least favourite Peter Hyams films but on a second rewatch it worked a lot better for me. A bit short on action at times but makes up for it with loads of Powers Boothe. Hyams is the best.

Magic Crystal

Fantastic, weird Hong Kong action fantasy with some actual funny comedy, Cynthia Rothrock and a mystical rock that can grant your every wish. Loved it.

Highway to Hell

Chad Lowe chases Kristy Swanson to hell, which seemed reasonable before she went MAGA. A bit of everything, this, nothing quite like it but would have benefitted from a lead who had an ounce of charisma. Like Chad's brother?

Hollywood Boulevard

Typically inventive and superb Joe Dante film, one of the fastest paced films I've seen with something going on all the time. Very funny.

A Month in the Country

PTSD-riddled WWI veterans Colin Firth and Kenneth Branagh bond while the former renovates a church. Sad but relaxing and quite lovely at times, the sort of thing the UK does better than everyone else.

The House Bunny

The eyes are the nipples of the face.

[gmoney]

17 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Sudden Death (the Van Damme one)

This has always been one of my least favourite Peter Hyams films but on a second rewatch it worked a lot better for me. A bit short on action at times but makes up for it with loads of Powers Boothe. Hyams is the best.

I really enjoy the bizarrely low stakes in this film. The Vice President is in danger at a hockey game.