VHS and Betamax You Have Recently Rented

[Devon Malcolm]

14 minutes ago, Merzbow said:

Tom Burke could be an excellent Solid Snake, couldn't he?

He was the revelation of this, for me. So used to seeing him in character-driven dramas, just couldn't picture him as an action star at all. But he's superb in this. Great casting by Miller, that.

[Merzbow]

5 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

He was the revelation of this, for me. So used to seeing him in character-driven dramas, just couldn't picture him as an action star at all. But he's superb in this. Great casting by Miller, that.

I can see him reprising the roll in his own film, they introduced him as a legend with a backstory somewhere there. I'd be well up for that.

[Jazzy G]

I watched the Barbie movie with my friend today. Loved it. Get why people dismissed it as woke nonsense, but I really enjoyed it. The majority of the jokes landed, the soundtrack was fun, the design was brilliant. It was just a really well crafted and executed movie. 

I also watched Cold Comfort Farm on the iPlayer. One of my friend's favourite films. It's a heck of a ride, with quite the cast as well. Ian McKellan, Stephen Fry, Kate Beckinsale, Míriam Margoyles, Joanna Lumley. It flew by, and there were a good few wry laughs as well. 

[Donald J Trump]

No Escape (2015) Netflix

Owen Wilson stars as a salary man dad in a "trip abroad gone to shit" action thriller. Owen, his perpetually disappointed wife and two dopey kids have visited South East Asia on some business related jolly but as soon as the plane hit the tarmac the entire country became engulfed in a violent coup. It's an enjoyable enough film, but he should have left the children at home. Imagine a shopping trip from hell with the kids but instead of embarrassing you in the middle of a busy supermarket their central casting antics nearly get the whole family killed at every turn. Marauding, bloodthirsty mobs ruthlessly hunted any westerner they could find and brutally executed them in the dirt, but it was a full house of complete and utter bullshit from Owens pride and joy. It started with one of them doing their disappearing act just as the shit hit the fan (they'd decided to go for a dip in the hotel swimming pool on their own). There was a stuffed toy called something like Bongo, and of course bongo was carelessly dropped while they were being chased. This seemed to be more of a concern than being persued by a killer with a machete. One of them needed to "go potty" while they were hiding under a table from a room full of murderers but the mother wasn't having it, she basically told the kid they'll just need to shit their pants. It just went on and on, and when Owen had to get his hands dirty and bludgeon a bad guy to death with a lampshade to save everyones arses they all looked at him like he was a piece of shit. Apart from that it was alright. Pierce Brosnan popped up with his finest outing since Dantes Peak, even if it seemed like the character was written in about 10 minutes. Not worth seeking out, but if you're at a loose end it's not a disaster. 4/10

Edited May 25 by Donald J Trump
Robocod

[Thunderplex]

Masterminds 2016

It was a Netflix suggestion so I gave it a go.  Based on a true story, but with a good chunk of embellishment.  Directed by the bloke who did Napoleon Dynamite and it sorted with some of the characterisations and I loved it.  Went at a good pace, and just funny.

[Magnum Milano]

Some recent watches:

Model House (2024)
Models staying in a secluded house are targeted by intruders who plan to use the model’s fame and social media statuses to get rich. Outside of the opening, pretty much nothing happens for the first third. Things do pick up when the intruders arrive, although not by much. Not the best.

Abigail (2024)
An expert gang of criminals, who don’t know anything about each other, are assembled to kidnap a young girl for ransom, but end up getting far more than they bargained for. I liked this a lot and it’s a real fun watch.

Spoiler

Cool twist too when it transpires that Abigail orchestrated the whole thing herself.

The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)
A quiet and reserved bank clerk dreams of stealing the gold bullion that he supervises in order to escape to live a life of luxury. And then he meets someone who he thinks can make his dreams turn into a reality. Enjoyable little movie, although not the all-timer I had anticipated going in.

Deathtrap (1982)
Following poor reviews of his latest play, his fourth “bum” in a row, Sidney Bruhl receives a copy of a manuscript from a former student and so impressed with what he reads plots to kill him and claim it as his own. I was losing interest when the psychic turned up, but then came one amazing twist.

Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
A small-town lawyer is approached to represent Lt. Frederick Manion, who is accused of shooting dead an innkeeper who allegedly raped his wife. James Stewart is sensational and his exchanges with George C. Scott in the courtroom are top level. It’s a long film but well worthwhile especially when they get to trial.

Wicked Little Letters (2023)
In a quiet seaside town, devout Christian Edith Swan starts to receive poison pen letters. Suspicion falls on her neighbour, the loud and uncouth, Rose Gooding, but one policewoman is not convinced. A fantastic headline cast in Olivia Colman, Timothy Spall and Jessie Buckley, the latter of whom can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. Really enjoyed this and based on a true story.

#Horror (2015) (All4)
A group of unlikeable schoolgirls, who spend most of the time being nasty to each other, gather for a sleepover but their obsession with an online app turns it into a nightmare. There’s some message about the dangers of social media here but the film is a mess and not easy on the eye.

Dogfight (1991)
The night before they are due to leave for Vietnam, a group of Marines attend a “dogfight” where they compete to see who can bring the ugliest date, however, one starts to have second thoughts about the girl he’s chosen. Lili Taylor is terrific, and her character is so sweet and likeable. Recommended, although I remain unconvinced about most of what happened after Eddie left for Nam.
 

[Mr_Danger]

On 5/24/2024 at 5:13 PM, LEGIT said:

 

Just got it, it's neither of those but thanks guys. It's called The Company Of Wolves. May have miss remembered plot details. It was quite shite if I remember right.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Company_of_Wolves

Just a heads up, The Company Of Wolves is on itv player if you fancied revisiting it.

[TheBurningRed]

I’ve done a couple of extra night shifts this week so six nights, six movies. I’ve decided to put myself through the Rise of the Footsoldier films so you don’t have to. Film is based on the Rettendon Murders and the characters from that world. Some spoilers ahead so don’t read on if you’re dying to see these.

Rise of The Footsoldier  

Despite being the first film this is chronologically the fifth with the second movie being the sixth. This is about Carlton Leach’s rise from a member of the ICF, taking over the doors at clubs in Essex to becoming a gangster in the eighties and nineties. We have your typical Football Factory/British gangster movies alumni as it stars Ricci Harnett, Craig Fairbrass, Roland Manookian, Terry Stone (wearing the most horrendous blonde wig), Neil Maskell, Billy Murray and Frank Harper. 

It shifts from Carlton to the characters of Pat Tate, Tony Tucker and Craig Rolfe, the three men who would get shotgunned to death in a Land Rover. Pat Tate is a violent maniac. They show this via him beating people up constantly and going all Nick Gage with a pizza slicer across some poor blokes face. It’s got everything to appeal to British gangster film lovers. Coke, pills, birds, violence and shit rave music. And if you liked seeing Pat, Tony and Craig getting killed, don’t worry, because they show about four different versions of it with various suspects. It’s perfectly fine as a film. It’s what you’d expect to get out of it. 

Rise of the Footsoldier Part II: Reign of the General

Carlton Leach is going off the rails. His three mates have been killed (and they will show it again) and he’s now a paranoid man and getting by with drink, drugs and violence. Naturally his wife leaves him. Not realising he’s struggling from a serious case of men’s mental health, she just thinks he’s been a cunt (which he is tbf). Get that man a Madri and a mate to talk to stat.

This film is absolute dog shit. The character of Shawn being the only highlight. You’ve got cameos from Big Narstie who gets his tits out, and a young Charlie Heaton. Storylines that go nowhere, including Carlton’s long lost son showing up and staying over and nothing more. A feud with the travellers that gets finished as soon as it’s started. Which was just a couple of punch ups in a night club. The ending is absolute shite. It was definitely left open to another sequel about Carlton Leach. But he fell out with Terry Stone (who plays Tony Tucker) and got fucked out of the movie. Also Ricci Harnett looks like Steve Pemberton in this movie. Crap. 

Rise of the Footsoldier: The Pat Tate Story

This is just the first film but from the perspective of Pat Tate and his violent rise in the criminal world, his demand for five fucking prostitues and the lead up to the shotgunning. Chronologically the second film. Craig Fairbrass is a draw and this is much better than the second movie. Jamie Foreman is in as a new main character and you have cameos from Larry Lamb, Vicki Michelle, Shaun Ryder as a prison inmate called Mad Dog and the bloke who played Ted Hills in Eastenders. Terry Stone is back with his wig. And Pats got a right hand man called Kenny who looks a bit like MJf. Set in Spain, Sunny Southend and a prison.

Pat Tate goes on a rampage in prison with 99 Red Balloons playing over for his murder montage. Expect fluorescent tubes, pool cues and other stuff you’d expect to see in CZW.  

As violent as Pat and Tony are, there’s one thing that can bring them down. As they go looking for someone, they get the wrong flat which is occupied by two gay men. As they start to leave one of them offers them money for a blowjob. The absolute look of panic they have on their faces. They slowly back away so they don’t catch the gay. If only people knew that one way to stop them was to blow them a kiss or offer to blow them. They didn’t even beat them up. They were that frightened. 

There’s another fight with travellers in a nightclub that looks to start a war before it’s finished as quickly as starts again. Paddy Doherty plays the head traveller very briefly in an award winning performance. 

Want to see the lads being killed with shotguns again? You’ve got it. Better than the second but it’s mostly Craig Fairbrass fighting and doing drugs. He beats up a load of coppers like he’s a John Wick. But he doesn’t need a gun. He’s got his left hook and leather jacket. Wasn’t really needed as a film but a couple of scenes are a laugh.

Rise of the Footsoldier: Marbella

Chronologically the third film. Essex is running low on pills. Pat needs them the pack the clubs out so heads to Marbella to get some. He also wants revenge on Larry Lamb for fucking him over. But he’s already dead. He makes a deal for pills but needs Tony and Craig to bring the money out. Craig books tickets to Amsterdam instead to get a connecting flight as it’s cheaper. What could possibly go wrong? Tony doesn’t want to go as he needs to be in England to walk Nigel Benn out for his fight (played by Connor Benn).

There’s another nightclub fight where Pat, Essex’s John Wick, takes them all on despite their weapons. He’s the real hardest geezer.

Anyway, there’s a lot of fucking over and threats made between Pat and two blokes called Terry and Greener. Terry and Craig steal a VW Camper when they miss their flight and drive to Marbella. They of course fuck it up the silly caaahnts and lose the money so they have to rob the two guys Pat was making deals with. Let’s get straight to the end. Pat ends up throwing the pills in the sea in Essex when they were wrongly suspected of being bad. He screams when he founds out they weren’t moody and Craig gurns to end the film as he ate a mouthful of pills. 

This was more of a comedy. Pat says some variation of fuck every other word that I thought I was watching KFogg. Jim Rosenthal pops up in this. 

Rise of the Footsoldier: Origins

Chronologically the first film. Origin story of Tony Tucker (with a brunette wig this time round) and a brief backstory of him coming back from the Falklands. While watching this I thought they might make a origin story of Craig Rolfe but luckily his is incorporated in this. Absolutely awful scene when Craig’s wife accuses him (correctly) of cheating and demands to smell his dick. The sort of dialogue you’d only get in these type of films.

Vinnie Jones is in this as famous security guard/bouncer Bernard O’Mahoney. Also stars Keith Allen, Connor Benn as Nigel Benn (in the brief origin story of how he met Tony Tucker), P.H Moriarty, Heavy D as a pimp of some sort and Michelle Collins very briefly in a bra. And a new character called Basildon Joe. 

You get how Tony met Pat. Pat is swearing, doing drugs and violent within 4 minutes of showing up in his small cameo. Knocking someone out with that deadly left, smashing someone in the face with a pool ball before launching it at the back of the woman’s head who decided she wouldn’t suck him off. You also get the origin story of them buying the Land Rover they get killed in and Billy Murray’s character lurking in the shadows im another brief cameo. Tony meets Carlton for the first time. You don’t see his face and has a different voice due to the fall out with the real Carlton Leach and the makers of the movies. 

Overly long and rubbish. Great soundtrack though.

Rise of the Footsoldier: Vengeance

Chronologically the fourth film. Jamie Foreman returns. British gangster movie regular Geoff Bell is also in this. Basildon Joe returns as do some other faces from the third and fourth films. No Tony Tucker or Craig Rolfe though. It’s all Pat Tate baby. And Kenny. Before he gets killed. That’s not a major spoiler. It’s the plot of the film. But I’m sure he was killed in one of the other ones. This is by far the most professional looking of all the films. Less over the top violence and less swearing. But Pat Tate is still the Essex John Wick. But this time he’s portrayed as a hero and less unhinged (sort of) as he seeks revenge on his mates death against Phil Davis and Eastern European mobsters. Opens with a shot of a Land Rover (maybe the same one) with blood around it. But in a different location than where the shotgunning took place. They love that Land Rover. And of course, foreshadowing.

At a fight in a scrap yard, Pat goes all Captain America but instead of a shield, he has a hubcap. There’s also two scenes near the end which are definitely ripped off from The Terminator club scene when he searches for Sarah Connor, and the chase through the square in In Bruges. They’ve teased a sequel set in Ibiza where Pat will try and get revenge (again) on those that done him wrong. 

I’m waiting and hoping for Footsoldiers in Space. Or them to retcon it all and keep the lads all alive and not being shotgunned to fuck. Or even more origins with Craig Fairbrass playing a teenage version of Pat Tate. There’s also at least two or three other films based on the Rettendon Murders that I might suffer through. Also, six films deep and no Danny Dyer, Tamer Hassan or Alan Ford. Not even poor Dave Courtney or Chris Ellison could get a look in.

Anyway, here’s me with Tony Tucker actor Terry Stone, minus the wig at An Evening With Ricky Hatton at Staines Leisure Centre of all places. An absolute diamond fridge freezer. 

[Keith Houchen]

7 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

I’ve done a couple of extra night shifts this week so six nights, six movies. I’ve decided to put myself through the Rise of the Footsoldier films so you don’t have to

Thank you for your service. 

[Hannibal Scorch]

Caught Hit Man tonight, Richard Linklater’s latest co-written and starring Glen Powell. Really enjoyable black comedy, loosely based on true events. Hits Netflix next Friday and well worth a watch!

[Devon Malcolm]

6 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

I’ve done a couple of extra night shifts this week so six nights, six movies. I’ve decided to put myself through the Rise of the Footsoldier films so you don’t have to.

 

I love this sort of self-hating logic. Similar thing to what I applied a few years ago when I had the flu and decided it would be a good time to watch all the Wrong Turn films in one day.

[SuperBacon]

@TheBurningRed @Devon Malcolm 

Can I interest you in some christmas films come December?

[TheBurningRed]

Already got a list of shit Christmas films. It’s tradition for me and my girlfriend to watch the worst of the worst Hallmark movies. 

I think for my next night shifts I’m going to watch I.D and ID2: Shadwell Army. I hear they’re quite shit. I could watch something good, but that would distract me too much getting invested and I do have to do some work overnight. 

[SuperBacon]

25 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

ID2: Shadwell Army.

I'm not going to spoil by saying what it is, but Billy Mitchell says one of the funniest things in this I've ever heard. Yes I've watched it.

And of course, the Xmas film thread is open to all, please post in there other watchers! Cannot wait for it 😆

[SaitoRyo]

I watched Miles From Home last night.

It's a 1988 drama about a couple of brothers who run the family farm. Hard times happen and the bank inevitably comes to take it away from them. The elder brother (played by Richard Gere) does not take this well and a little bit of mayhem ensues. 

It's not a life-changing film or anything, but it's a real hidden gem and I enjoyed it a lot. There were quite a few Reagan-era films about the struggle of farm and ranch folks in the heartland and this is certainly one of the better ones.

It's beautifully shot and a few other famous faces (like Helen Hunt and John Malkovich) pop in for a scene or two.