The Smackers Thread

[air_raid]

16 hours ago, Supremo said:

Finally! Something fresh for Phil! A match that doesn’t involve Seth Rollins!*

*To qualify for a match involving Seth Rollins.

I assume someone else already made the Punxsutawney Phil joke?

[d-d-d-dAz]

Fans hijacking the show to chant for someone who got fired? Let the bad times roll..

[Supremo]

On Raw, I felt nostalgic watching a cold WWE product being carried by a white hot CM Punk promo.

Similar vibes here. A real 2010 energy.

A cold product being hijacked by a crowd chanting for a sacked wrestler, with the performer in the ring trying to cleverly acknowledge and work around it. How quickly we’ve turned back time. Maybe Truth will get his job back and they’ll redo the Matt Hardy/Edge angle. “John Cena! You bastard!...I’m gonna make your life miserable!...Come see me in PWG!”

Another 2010 throwback; creative decline being masked by relaxing the Brand Split. Tale as old as time. Circle of Fed life. This must be our fiftieth time round the block. If all else fails, create artificial freshness and excitement by mixing the Raw and Smackdown guys up a bit.

It bloody worked, though. This was probably the freshest Smackdown has felt all year. Speaks to how bad it’s been that it was improved considerably by having three Seth Rollins segments. Man’s still an absolute whopper though. Then, now, forever. Funny that they put Seth’s group on the same show as Chelsea Green’s and no-one seemed to notice the resemblance.

Secret Hervice match was at least historic for being the first match to feature Slim Jim Tables™. I don’t even know what I expected, but they looked so rubbish. Just a normal table with cheap stickers on it! Make tables out of Slim Jim meat, you cheapskates!

Another 2010 vibe from this show was the Stockholm Syndrome in full display. Even when Seth is finally interacting with new people and teasing new directions, the fans were still chanting for CM Punk. Fuck all the way off. There’s never been a feud in the history of time that’s wore thinner or needed to end sooner.

Maybe even my brain has stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and gone back to 2010, because I was doing that thing where you pick out throwaway lines and try and fantasy book some exciting stuff that likely won’t ever happen. Seth referencing Roman Reigns felt like a spark of life. It’s another cheap thrill, but I’d love it if Roman returned at Money in the Bank, pushed Seth’s ladder over, and it was Roman vs. Seth at Wrestlemania with both guys coming out to The Shield music, wearing the flack jackets. Similarly, Cena’s line about, “nobody is coming to save you,” at least suggested he’s moving on to someone other than Cody for Summerslam. Just pull the trigger. Send CM Punk to Smackdown in the draft and do Seth vs. Roman and Cena vs. Punk at Summerslam. Inject some fucking life into this product again.

I won’t hold my breath. I’m expecting Summerslam to feature another rubbish Cena vs. Cody match involving Travis Scott (maybe guest ref?), and a World Title Triple Threat match between Jey Uso, Seth Rollins and CM Punk.

[HarmonicGenerator]

15 minutes ago, Supremo said:

It bloody worked, though. This was probably the freshest Smackdown has felt all year. 

That's nice to hear - I might actually give WWE another go -

16 minutes ago, Supremo said:

three Seth Rollins segments.

- and I'm out.

[FUM]

The 15 minute highlight videos they’ve been putting up on YouTube are a god send for the current shows. 

[d-d-d-dAz]

This late-stage Triple H run is quite fun if you see it as a 'Greatest Hits' tour of all the worst bits of WWE.

We've now got top stars referencing how an angle isn't working but promising 'now? now it's going to get good!'

I reckon we're about a month away from Triple H, Cena, Nick Khan and Cody coming out with sombre suits and expressions, apologising for the quality of shows and promising to get better. 

[Supremo]

“I used CM Punk's sociopathic nature against him & backed him into a corner to the point where if CM Punk really wants to take this, then he has to admit that he’s a hypocrite." - John Cena.

"Just like old times, here's CM Punk to make your title run interesting!" - CM Punk.

I think being forced to re-hire and push a black man has broken Hunter’s brain. Rather than come out of that Money in the Bank press conference thinking, “I looked like a complete wally trying to pretend the whole thing was a work,” he’s gone the other way! He’s decided to make everything a work, saying the quiet parts loud everywhere he can, as if that somehow makes him immune from any valid criticisms.

Cena’s heel run being shit? Work, mate. Punk getting ripped to shreds online and seemingly unravelling? Work, ya mark. When the Netflix executives inevitably ask about the very obvious correlation between Seth Rollins being featured as the main character on Raw and the viewing figures nosediving, I wonder if Trips will just give them a cheeky wink. “All part of the show, baby! Enjoy the show!”

CM Punk looked a fucking mess out there. Even worse than on Monday. Eye bags like golf balls. Looked like a man who hadn’t slept in days, constantly refreshing Twitter. Losing his train of thought, forgetting his lines. One of the worst promos of his career. Trying to sell this match and dance around the massive elephant in the room was always going to be impossible. It’s borderline cruel seeing him still try to do it when they’ve made his hypocrisy canonically part of the fucking build. I bet he’d give anything right now for John Cena to be making a daft reference to Colt Cabana instead.

It’s going to be a fun few weeks. I’m not convinced the match even happens.

Spare a thought for Danhausen, watching Punk unravel weeks before he’s able to secure that WWE contract.

 

[RedTwoster]

I’m not watching until after NOC, but I’ve read the recap and I’m pretty astounded that they’ve made Punk’d hypocrisy part of the plot, as it acknowledges that there’s something to be hypocritical about - that going to Saudi Arabia is a a shitty thing to do not just for him, but the company as a whole.

What’s even more bizarre is that they’ve managed to take the prospect of one final Punk/Cena match, and make it seem less appealing than a match between Cena and R-Truth.

The show seems decent enough, but there’s something very off about everything right now, and I don’t mean from a moral perspective. There’s a lot that should be working that just isn’t - some sharp left turns are needed, including on the Cena heel run. It’s a shame that the final run of his career has been such a dud.

[FLips]

The endgame hiring Punk back was always to mug him off and they’re doing it perfectly.

Have him main event night one of the BOGOF extravaganza ✅

Send him to suck saudi blood money covered dick ✅

If you look at the discourse from Smackdown this morning on Reddit too there are accusations he’s juicing because he’s bigger than he’s ever been. Imagine they finally got him to break being straight edge? It was the only thing he had left.

He’s a staph infection away from going scorched earth.

[Supremo]

47 minutes ago, d-d-d-dAz said:

This late-stage Triple H run is quite fun if you see it as a 'Greatest Hits' tour of all the worst bits of WWE.

We've now got top stars referencing how an angle isn't working but promising 'now? now it's going to get good!'

I reckon we're about a month away from Triple H, Cena, Nick Khan and Cody coming out with sombre suits and expressions, apologising for the quality of shows and promising to get better. 

Watching Hunter’s speed run of Vince’s Shittest Hits, I was locked and loaded to make a joke about them re-botching Daniel Bryan, but with Sami Zayn.

Sami beats Gunther for the belt at Summerslam, only for Seth to immediately cash in and break our hearts. Everyone who has ever consumed any type of fiction will rightly assume this should lead to the underdog hero building himself back up and winning at Wrestlemania. Nope. It’ll lead to Braun Breakker vs. Seth. Sami will spend the Autumn and Winter getting buried, wearing a bin bag as a member of the Wyatt Sicks by January. Big Show will be re-hired to steal Sami’s schtick. Maybe he can do that funny dance Sami did last week! WELLLLLL…

It feels like Hunter’s moving too fast though. Didn’t even give me a chance. He’s skipped right to the end. We didn’t even get the five year run of boring, dog shit TV. He’s jumped straight to the, “you’ve lost your fucking mind,” Era.

Exactly what is their plan if the Saudi Prince has ejected his, “Best of Yokozuna,” VHS and is actually following the current product? When they do the inevitable weird, creepy meal with all the wrestlers, how are they going to introduce CM Punk? “This is the lad who made the Tweet about a blood-money covered dick. Yeah. We’ve since built a storyline about how hypocritical he is coming over here. Pass me the gravy.”

It’s all fun and games laughing at Hunter thinking he’s so much smarter than he is, but fucking hell. I’ll draw the line at his rubbish attempts at being cute and smart getting a man literally killed!

[LaGoosh]

29 minutes ago, Supremo said:

CM Punk looked a fucking mess out there. Even worse than on Monday. Eye bags like golf balls. Looked like a man who hadn’t slept in days, constantly refreshing Twitter. Losing his train of thought, forgetting his lines. One of the worst promos of his career.

To highlight this, I went to watch it on YouTube this morning and they appear to have cut most of it out. They usually post the full 10 minute plus segments, this time they've only posted a 3 minute clip and half of it is entrances. So I'll have to assume it's really shit.

[d-d-d-dAz]

At least we finally get a real test of whether Phil has really changed.

If he can survive this inner turmoil without trying to thump Pretty Deadly or buy book tokens for Chelsea Green, I'll say that's a good sign.

[Mr_Danger]

He’s deffo getting a little 3 month injury just after the Saudi show. Sub him out for Roman over Summer Slam and bring him back for the Survivor Series/Rumble/Mania run in.

[digforvictory]

When he was in AEW a big part of his meltdown was he would do something backstage and the majority opinion on the internet would be he was acting like a dick, so he'd leak something else to portray himself as the good guy and that would again backfire and people would think he was acting like a dick so he'd leak something else etc. This happened repeatedly. 

The whole Jack Perry stuff started because Punk insulted Hangman Page in an in ring after the show promo to the crowd and the crowd booed and Punk looked bad so he leaked a story about telling Jack Perry not to use real glass, so he'd look all professional and wise.  And then obviously we all know how that ended up.

We know CM Punk is someone who is very online so I'm sure he's seen the ton of criticism and mockery that has gone his way. Would explain why he looked so rough and rattled during his promo.  He'll absolutely hate all of this, he'll hate that he's being made fun of and criticised.  If he wasn't on his absolutely best behaviour and in the last chance saloon I could definitely see there being a good chance of a classic Punk meltdown. But as he is in the last chance saloon he'll have to just put up with it. 

[Snitsky's back acne]

A show with nothing but fatal four ways? 

Eurgh. Lazy.

What has happened to the company that was doing logical, compelling television just 2 years ago? Is that the shortest 'boom period' in wrestling history? How can things have dropped off do badly?

If they are so myopic to think 'well people are still paying for this stuff' is going to sustain them they're wrong. It won't last forever. WWF went from running a huge dome in Indianapolis for Wrestlemania 8 to the carpark of Caesars Palace for Wrestlemania 9. Crashes can happen a lot quicker than many in WWE would probably like to think. I hope it doesn't but, God, they are making it difficult to defend.