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The Batshit World of Noel Edmonds


Gus Mears

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On 7/21/2018 at 8:17 PM, Thunderplex said:

Am 8 the onl6 one who’s surprised that the hairy bastard was never mentioned in the Yewtree thing?

At the height of Yewtree when there seemed to be weekly arrests of suspects whose only identification was their age, I went to Noel's wiki page so many times I might as well have made it my homepage.

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I think I've mentioned before that me and a couple of friends did a 9x9 grid of 'Yewtree Bingo' which I eventually won through a combination of Dave Lee Travis, Cliff Richards and Tony Blackburn. Noel was unsurprisingly on mine.

Edited by Gus Mears
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3 hours ago, Gus Mears said:

I think I've mentioned before that me and a couple of friends did a 9x9 grid of 'Yewtree Bingo' which I eventually won through a combination of Dave Lee Travis, Cliff Richards and Tony Blackburn. Noel was unsurprisingly on mine.

Back when Fab Cafe had a different quizmaster, it was the height of Yewtree.  The Blockbuster round was name 10 celebrities who had been nicked under the operation.  I do prefer the new quiz though.  Nothing to do with the old quizmaster having me ejected from the venue on two separate occasions because he was a prick who got answers wrong, the fucking geek twat.

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17 hours ago, Gus Mears said:

me and a couple of friends did a 9x9 grid of 'Yewtree Bingo' which I eventually won through a combination of Dave Lee Travis, Cliff Richards and Tony Blackburn.

Are your friends not demanding a recount?

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On 7/25/2018 at 9:13 PM, Keith Houchen said:

Back when Fab Cafe had a different quizmaster, it was the height of Yewtree.  The Blockbuster round was name 10 celebrities who had been nicked under the operation.  I do prefer the new quiz though.  Nothing to do with the old quizmaster having me ejected from the venue on two separate occasions because he was a prick who got answers wrong, the fucking geek twat.

I hate when you have to correct the quizmaster.

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I recently wrote a really long piece unravelling Noel's persona of contrived chaos on Noel's House Party, and realised that when you broke each episode down to its component parts, of him pretending it's all going wrong, Yewtree cameos and Partridge-isms, it's so hauntologically rich, it's the 90's equivalent of those 1970's PIFs where some kid gets electrocuted getting his frisbee out of a pylon. Here's the first one.

 

Edited by Astro Hollywood
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It's the apex of the British concept of "wacky".  The most oppressively controlled pseudo-chaos designed to simulate the sensation of freedom without offering any.  Its like something a totalitarian state tv would come up with.

Edmonds always reminds me of the Fast Show character Colin Hunt.

The wackiness abounds with Colin, but as ever with The Fast Show they pull a fantastic trick when he meets someone too like himself.

 

 

You can imagine Colin Hunt working at Auschwitz.

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I recall the Leslie Garrett Gotcha, where Noel was basically torturing her mentally that there maybe a proper oddball under the lions head (it was Noel, so probably right.) At one he rests his head on her shoulder and starts poking her tit.

nn.png.295fe5cfbfa9d9ea743682c860f82728.png

There's one point where shoves him away with force, to where old Edmonds has to remove the mask and do his poncy little "it's only me act." If the screen went black and white and it started to rain, this could have been the start of some torture porn film. She looked fucking emotionally drained when it was finished, so fuck knows what they cut from the skit.

Edited by IANdrewDiceClay
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16 minutes ago, IANdrewDiceClay said:

I recall the Leslie Garrett Gotcha, where Noel was basically torturing her mentally that there maybe a proper oddball under the lions head (it was Noel, so probably right.) At one he rests his head on her shoulder and starts poking her tit.

nn.png.295fe5cfbfa9d9ea743682c860f82728.png

There's one point where shoves him away with force, to where old Edmonds has to remove the mask and do his poncy little "it's only me act." If the screen went black and white and it started to rain, this could have been the start of some torture porn film. She looked fucking emotionally drained when it was finished, so fuck knows what they cut from the skit.

Here is the video of the above mentioned Gotcha:

 

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On 9/24/2018 at 9:43 AM, Astro Hollywood said:

I recently wrote a really long piece unravelling Noel's persona of contrived chaos on Noel's House Party

Now it's clambered over the paywall, here it is.

Regarding Ian's post above, in all my recent dissecting of House Parties, I found a running 'joke', where every female celebrity on Grab a Grand gets kindly, repeated offers from Noel to help remove the money from their tracksuit top.

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55 minutes ago, Astro Hollywood said:

Now it's clambered over the paywall, here it is.

Regarding Ian's post above, in all my recent dissecting of House Parties, I found a running 'joke', where every female celebrity on Grab a Grand gets kindly, repeated offers from Noel to help remove the money from their tracksuit top.

"Outside use of rogue Blobbies"  had me doubled over. Wonderful turn of phrase.

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