Paid Members Gus Mears Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) This has been discussed a bit in the anecdote thread, but Noel Edmonds having some protracted Willy Loman style breakdown is the most interesting story of the year so far. On 19/01/2018 at 2:22 PM, Kaz Hayashi said: In other news, my mate has informed me that Noel Edmunds has set up a radio station purely to besmirch Lloydâs bank, due to him being fiddled out of some coin in the past. Listeners whoâve dealt with their poor customer relations and have been jipped out of coin, can tune in and listen to Noel talking about Lloydâs being a set of nasty robbing bastards, including use of the term âfinancial rapeâ in between classic hits such as Smooth Criminal and Policy of Truth. He also plays sad piano music over the top of call ins from disgruntled Lloydâs customers. He has lost the plot, heâs interviewed himself pretending to be someone else in order to tell a rip off story, but it was obviously him. He failed miserably. All it needs now is someone pranking him, pretending to be from Lloydâs and have an on air argument. He can subsequently accuse them of feeding burgers to swans. http://noel.world/noel-news/lloyds-victims-radio-station-now-52786-regular-listeners/ Seriously, tune in, its absolute gold. So, Noel Edmonds has plainly lost his absolute shit. The following barrage of lunacy is from the past fortnight:  Noel Gallagher's story on recently meeting Noel Edmonds: Quote Speaking to Dermot OâLeary on Radio 2, Gallagher said: âI went for lunch last week and in the seat next to me was Noel Edmonds. Iâve never met him and my missus was going, âNo way, thatâs Noel Edmondsâ. âAnd he said to me, âItâs great to finally meet you after all these years because of all the jokes and thatâ.â âI went, âWhat jokes? What are you talking about?â. And he goes, âBecause weâre both called Noelâ. And I went, âWhat jokes are you talking about? Are people taking the mickey out of me to you?â And he went, âWell, you knowâ. âAnd then there was an awkward silence and I was like, âWhatever, enjoy your sea bassâ.â Edmonds in the Law Society Gazette, having raised ÂŁ1.5 million to sue Lloyds Bank (this is actually happening): And today, Edmonds allegedly meeting with Jeremy Corbyn: Quote Heâs usually found in the company of Mr Blobby or The Banker from Deal or No Deal. But now TVâs Noel Edmonds can add Jeremy Corbyn to his list of House Party guests. Guido hears the eccentric comic entertainer â and Noel Edmonds â met for a tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘte in Westminster recently. Guidoâs co-conspirators in showbiz say Edmonds is keen to enter politics⊠In a newspaper interview last year Edmonds referred to Corbyn as âthe fella with the beardâ and had this advice for the Labour leader: âIf Corbyn said âIâm going to clean up the cityâ he could wipe out the Tory party.â A spokesman for Noel Edmonds said: âI can neither confirm nor deny.â He added cryptically: âNoel likes a political leader with a strong beard.â This is plainly either going to end up with a massive compensation package, or a killing spree. Bloke is wound up like a spring. Edited February 1, 2018 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick Soapdish Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 and i thought nothing would top his radio station for pets  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted February 1, 2018 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, Nick Soapdish said: and i thought nothing would top his radio station for pets That, and when he claimed a few years back that he had 'two melon-sized balls of spiritual energy following him around at all times'. Plus when he said he had a magic energy box that cured knob cancer. How the hell this bloke is allowed to roam the streets of Britain freely is a mystery to me.  Edited February 1, 2018 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 A few years back he said he was going to buy the BBC. And this is a great look at how utterly mental his radio stations were, going above and beyond the "radio station for pets" gimmick; https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2016/nov/23/noel-edmonds-positivity-radio  Quote 4:49pm Back now to Positively Noel. Heâs doing a quiz called Disastermind. The subject is Prisoner: Cell Block H but, for reasons I cannot comprehend, the answer to every question is âLord Archerâ. Like something out of TV Go Home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Lion_of_the_Midlands Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 Didn't he also say that he was putting together an international consortium to buy the BBC, and isn't he one of those Cosmic Ordering nutjobs.  Clive Anderson should be worried. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 1 minute ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said: Clive Anderson should be worried. He should indeed. Too much cake for this lad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Devon Malcolm Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said: Didn't he also say that he was putting together an international consortium to buy the BBC, and isn't he one of those Cosmic Ordering nutjobs. Yep, he claims he used it to land the Deal or No Deal gig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Jazzy G Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 Doesn't he have some more shows for Channel 4 lined up or have they been and gone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Carbomb Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 35 minutes ago, Kaz Hayashi said: He should indeed. Too much cake for this lad. This is true. The damage is clearly visible in this MRI of his brain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merzbow Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 5 minutes ago, jazzygeofferz said: Doesn't he have some more shows for Channel 4 lined up or have they been and gone? He did some weird shitty sitcom like gameshow called Cheap Cheap Cheap, I'm sure that was axed after the first series ended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoUseforaUsername Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 He Looks like he smells very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted February 1, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 24 minutes ago, Merzbow said: He did some weird shitty sitcom like gameshow called Cheap Cheap Cheap, I'm sure that was axed after the first series ended. It was terrible, and one of the most deranged things on television. Like a cross between Still Open All Hours, The Price Is Right and Mitchell & Webb's Quiz Broadcast. As if some future civilisation had attempted to reproduce the television of the past, but got all the bits in the wrong places. A while back, I suggested that The Banker was a figment of Edmonds' imagination, and the entire Deal Or No Deal premise was constructed around him to accommodate that. Now the show's finished, maybe that's why he's going after bankers in real life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Houchen Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 Didnât he have a show on Sky where one segment was dedicated to bullying receptionists and the like for being a jobsworth and called it Bonkers Britain. Iâm sure I saw it on Screenwipe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Gus Mears Posted February 1, 2018 Author Paid Members Share Posted February 1, 2018 (edited) Well, I've been dragged into one giant Noel Edmonds based rabbit hole. If you want to be truly terrified this evening, check out Noel, dressed in drag, rambling on about the BBC from a few years ago: Â Edited February 1, 2018 by Gus Mears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Astro Hollywood Posted February 1, 2018 Moderators Share Posted February 1, 2018 6 minutes ago, Keith Houchen said: Didnât he have a show on Sky where one segment was dedicated to bullying receptionists and the like for being a jobsworth and called it Bonkers Britain. Iâm sure I saw it on Screenwipe.  Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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