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The Batshit World of Noel Edmonds


Gus Mears

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12 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

Well, I've been dragged into one giant Noel Edmonds based rabbit hole. If you want to be truly terrified this evening, check out Noel, dressed in drag, rambling on about the BBC from a few years ago:

 

What the hell have I just watched? Is Priscilla Prim one of the names he used for the blow up doll he sits in the back of his taxi in order to use bus lanes?

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28 minutes ago, Gus Mears said:

Well, I've been dragged into one giant Noel Edmonds based rabbit hole. If you want to be truly terrified this evening, check out Noel, dressed in drag, rambling on about the BBC from a few years ago:

 

Wow. So that's what "Broken" Jeff Jarrett would look like.

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If there's a Noel's House Party Youtube channel do you reckon it's a BBC side thing like the Doctor Who channel, or has Noel bought the footage and monetised it all on there?

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 "Broken" Jeff Jarrett

Yassss Brother Blobby I knew You'd come!!!!

Broken Noel staging a Final Deletion in the garden of the Noels House Party house. Blobby hitting a double twist of fate on Ant and Dec from the gunge machine and Noel chokeslamming  Simon Cowell onto a ton of broken Gotcha Oscars. 

Strictly....Delete!!!!

BGT.... Delete!!!!

X Factor....Delete!!!!

Saturday Night Takeaway....Delete!!!!

Noel simulcasts a relaunched House Party on BBC1 and ITV every Saturday night. He then starts up his own Football league to compete with the recently deleted Saturday Soccer of the Gillette made up of discarded Swop shop stuff and stages it on Subbuteto pitch the size of the Wembley pitch with the miscellany representating the traditional Subbuteto players. Gordon the Gopher puppet is such a success he is transferred to Barcelona for £500m to fund Noels new ventures his own record label, NoelTV - a network of classic Noel programming, a NoelXT developing new TV presenters who have to rock the classic Noel look. NoelFilms - his versions of Frankenstein played by the Olivier award winning Mr Blobby.

 

 

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Does he still offer the service where he'll phone your depressed pets to cheer them up? I always remember the (Most publicised) tale of the time someone had left a message on his site saying about their cats addiction to cake, forgot about it then a week or so later the phone rang and a strangers voice simply said "what type of cake?" No "hello it's Edmonds, I'm calling about the cat" just "what type of cake?"

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Was it Noel Edmonds that claimed you could overcome cancer by having a positive mental attitude or was it another lunatic celebrity?

Also I hope that everyone is aware that there's a chance he'll somehow read this thread and it'll be another thing for him to bash/slate along with Lloyds Bank and the BBC.

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8 minutes ago, The Maestro said:

Also I hope that everyone is aware that there's a chance he'll somehow read this thread and it'll be another thing for him to bash/slate along with Lloyds Bank and the BBC.

I was thinking that, he seems the type to google himself once a day to see what forums and the like are saying.

Oh and the cancer thing, he said it was caused by a negative attitude and could be cured by an EMP box thing which even the creators said was not true.

Edited by Merzbow
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