Paid Members IANdrewDiceClay Posted March 30, 2017 Paid Members Share Posted March 30, 2017 I was watching that XFL documentary the other night, and did a bit of a lol at Vince throughout the whole thing. The man is just mental. But, it put me into the thought process if I suddenly became a billionaire after suspiciously winning the lottery for 6 months on the trot. I'd start my own Football Association. Like the XFL. But with real footy, because I'm sick of cunts like Michael Oliver and sacking of managers, that I'd jack in watching Premier League and start my own up. The start of the journey: I'd do a press conference first. Outside Wembley. In front of the Bobby Moore statue to disrespect the game even more than I plan on doing. I'd announce that there's a new game in town, and proclaim "some have called the NFA the 'No Fun Asssociation', well we're going to be the 'Xtra Fun Association'." To which a journalist then rightly points out "but it's the FA, not the NFA, that doesnt quite work as a pun." He'd be ejected immediately. I then outline the plan that. The ball: The ball will be provided by Mitre. It will have a big X on it. The ball will be white, because you done mess with tradition, unlike those cunts at the Football Association. Unless it snows, and a orange ball will be permited. Also, underground heating wont be turned on during the night, so if it snows you get on with it and play. The show must go on, and there is little reason to cancel any games. Television coverage: This is what I'm looking at. ITV have got fuck all now. The old international friendly, but that's it. They've lost the Champions League to BT, no Premiership coverage, no league cup, BBC has the FA Cup, Channel 5 has the Championship. There's nothing on there regularly. We get ITV on board. Big channel, reach is massive, everyone will know who the XFA is. We'll have Eric Cantona as the face of it. He's all over the commericals, being cool and hilarious as he usually is. He's so convincing that when he buries the fuck out of the Premiership people will believe the XFA is the place to be. The Players: There's millions of players out there. We'll get a few lads off here. I'll have a game. Paul Diamond used to play football, he needs a payday. Get some old lads in there, raid the academy sides across the country who look to be failing at life. My logic is that, if everyone is at the same level, the games will look better than they are. The Kit: No big time sponsors. All local shit, like Frank's Factory Flooring or a picture of a badger holding a toothbrush. No big time kit makers either. Its Gola, Hi-Tec, two-stripe etc. The shorts dont come down past the upper thigh. I want arguments in the press whether they are hot pants or not. Proper John Barnes style sausage roll packets. No shin pads. The Rules: The kickoff is basically a drop ball, dropped from the XFA blimp that is circling the stadium. And each team picks a player to make the 25 yard dash to get the dropped ball. If a manager decides to employ 5 across the midfield, a player is immediately sent off by the official. A set rule of referees: players can call them "cunts" only twice, "fucking wanker" 3 times and "die in a car accident" 4 times. Anymore than this and he is able to show the yellow card. Each manager has to wear a tracksuit or jumper. No suits. Its not the kind of image we want to portray. At least one of the backroom staff is smoking a fag throughout the game. There are mesh fences around the seating, so the fans are in there like caged animals and cant throw things or invade the pitch. The trophy is a championship belt with Cantona's face on the side plates, and the XFA logo on the main plate. Only the winning side gets paid. It makes for better stories, if you read in the paper that the team at the bottom have some players doing fiddle work just pay for the kids presents at Christmas. When that team finally wins, and they can get the electric turned back on you will really connect with that side. If you have anymore ideas on how to improve my proposal, throw them in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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