simonworden Posted September 27, 2017 Share Posted September 27, 2017 5 hours ago, legendsof british wrestlin said: A friend of mine was bragging about owing a newsagent a small fortune for weeks worth of papers delivered, that he was about to pay until he found out the shop had changed hands & the debt had long since been forgotten about because the original owner had not passed on the relevant information. One day when passing his house i decided it would be funny to put a paper through his door with "Please pay your outstanding bill ASAP" written in magic marker at the very top of the front of his "free" paper. TBH I had long forgot about it until one day my mate reminded me by stating his wife went ape shit on him, on picking up the delivery & went straight around to the bemused newsagent, paying roughly what she thought was owed because the new owner had no idea of any debt, but was happy to accept the payment as it was all "part of the goodwill he had inherited". Reminds me of a prank that was done on me a long time ago. A friend of mine works in the village newsagents, back when I was a student if I was at home and bored I would basically turn up and hang out there on Sundays when it was dead and use the counter as a makeshift soft drink bar. At some point the shop installed a computerised system that allowed for tabs. This was mostly used for newspaper orders and the odd time someone local didn't have the right change. Being friends who take fairly liberal jabs with each other he decided to joke and start adding up a tab for random items on the system something like 10 quid an insult. The thing was he actually put this in and left it there or so I thought. About 2 years later he decided to give me a ring and basically say that the 500 quid tab on the system had been flagged by his boss during some accounting and he was really angry that my friend had let someone off paying anything for so long. My friend continued essentially saying I had a week to pay up or the boss was going to take me through small claims and also fire my mate. Being a student I panicked and after a day or two thinking about it popped in when the boss was there Of course he'd been told about the joke as he was actually a very decent guy so when I came in he was all smiles and went down the road of "Do you have some money for me young man". After neverously stumbling on my words for a second he said something on the lines of "well i'll let you off but you should probably talk to Craig to find out the details". After laughing his head of my mate can't believe I fell for it and explains he always wiped the account off the system after I left because otherwise it would be tallied up week by week. Looking back I should have known that but being a dumb 18 year old student it completely went over my head. Never got any type of decent revenge until this year when I started sending mystery birthday cards to people with the face of blasts from the past on the front. People like creepy kids in school, ex girlfriends or the local weirdos in the pub that I could find on Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 So I was de-icing my van in work last week when I decided to so this on the van next to me...... I chuckled to myself and went about my day. I come in the next morning to a full on investigation where the manager is handing that picture around asking if anyone had seen in and getting people to draw penises to compare likeness to the original image. Turns out one of my colleagues thought she had been deliberately targeted and it was some kind of vile dig at her. I'l be honest with you I was pretty tempted to carry it on, penis snow sculptures, paper mache breasts etc. Go the full on work place Banksy or Wanksy if you like, but I bottled it in the end and just had a quiet word with the lady and she laughed it off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 3, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Mr_Danger said: Turns out one of my colleagues thought she had been deliberately targeted and it was some kind of vile dig at her. I might sound mean here but unless there's a recent spate of cocks drawn on her stuff in work isn't this a bit melodramatic? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted March 3, 2018 Share Posted March 3, 2018 Oh no not at all. Her and her fella are mega anti authoriy and because the manager basically laughed in her face she pushed him to take it more seriously hence the penis investigation. They're also not particularly well liked so took it personally. It's not like I shit in her mail bag like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted March 3, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 3, 2018 1 hour ago, Mr_Danger said: I come in the next morning to a full on investigation where the manager is handing that picture around asking if anyone had seen in and getting people to draw penises to compare likeness to the original image. That's outstanding, very Brent-esque. "You don't even have email, Joan" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Your Fight Site Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 On 03/03/2018 at 11:02 AM, Mr_Danger said: So I was de-icing my van in work last week when I decided to so this on the van next to me...... I chuckled to myself and went about my day. I come in the next morning to a full on investigation where the manager is handing that picture around asking if anyone had seen in and getting people to draw penises to compare likeness to the original image. Turns out one of my colleagues thought she had been deliberately targeted and it was some kind of vile dig at her. I'l be honest with you I was pretty tempted to carry it on, penis snow sculptures, paper mache breasts etc. Go the full on work place Banksy or Wanksy if you like, but I bottled it in the end and just had a quiet word with the lady and she laughed it off. "Who drew the dick?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members tiger_rick Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 I came out of a footy match recently. Jumped in my car and was half way down the road when I looked in the mirror to see a big cock and a pair of tits on my rear window. Most of it was just outside the range of my wiper too. Got the police involved. Just need to match those fingerprints now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members BomberPat Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 "Getting people to draw penises to compare likeness" had me howling at work. That is delightful. Surely everyone just draws the same cock and three bits of jizz? World's oldest tag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 33 minutes ago, BomberPat said: "Getting people to draw penises to compare likeness" had me howling at work. That is delightful. Surely everyone just draws the same cock and three bits of jizz? World's oldest tag. You’d Think. I’m sure everyone attempts the same age old classic, but I’ve seen a couple of horrific variations in fairness. It’s almost MS paint challenge worthy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 Obviously the manager isn't dense enough to assume the culprit would draw it the same way when knowingly under investigation, so I'm dying to know under which pretence all staff were requested to do this. "Hey team, we've got an idea for a new company logo and we need your artistic touch to bring it to life. Who fancies winning a Creme Egg?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 1 hour ago, Kaz Hayashi said: I’m sure everyone attempts the same age old classic, but I’ve seen a couple of horrific variations in fairness. It tapers at the end, it looks like a mouse’s head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 When went through a similar trial when somebody went 6 pages deep on a flip chart that had been placed in the conference room ready for a meeting of local councillors and tenants the next day, and drew a veiny phallus. One local councillor was that distressed by the picture that she had to go home. We were dragged in one by one while HR and a team of managers blasted us and the asked us to draw a cock and bollocks. They didn’t take it well when I asked if I could pop to the bathroom to get a point of reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Kaz Hayashi Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 26 minutes ago, Thunderplex said: When went through a similar trial when somebody went 6 pages deep on a flip chart that had been placed in the conference room ready for a meeting of local councillors and tenants the next day, and drew a veiny phallus. One local councillor was that distressed by the picture that she had to go home. We were dragged in one by one while HR and a team of managers blasted us and the asked us to draw a cock and bollocks. They didn’t take it well when I asked if I could pop to the bathroom to get a point of reference. Brilliant. The only cock and balls picture to ever interfere with my working day is a note that was left on my colleagues windscreen. For about a week, she was enthusiastically smiled/whistled at by 3 lads in a van who were doing some maintenance work on the building. On day 3 they left a note saying along the lines of.. “hi, sorry if we keep smiling at you every morning, you’re gorgeous, love from the builders”. She was fine with it, she’s got a cracking personality, saw the funny side completely, wasn’t interested but was highly amused. On the morning of the last day the builders were working, they put another/final note under her windscreen wiper saying along the lines of, “It’s our last day, we all think you’re really fit, and any one of us would be over the moon if you fancied a drink” They put a mobile number on, and then went and fucking signed it by name, and drew a picture of a cock and balls under each name in order of size, Tyrone being massive... yeah. It’s as stereotypical as a Jim Davidson skit... 3 tradesmen in a white van, wolf whistle at an attractive woman.. Tyrone has the biggest cock. Ridiculous. She laughed her arse off for the rest of the day and thought it was funny as fuck. It could easily have backfired. Firm logo on the van, a mobile number, names, and obviously drawings of their cocks, just in case the rest wasn’t sufficient enough to track them down. She took a pic of the note. I need to find out if she still has it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord-Mountevans Posted March 5, 2018 Share Posted March 5, 2018 On a similar note. Years ago on the works bog door i described the factory bully as "The Son of Satin" but meant to put "Son of Satan". The bully got everyone to write out the sentence to catch out the perpetrator by reproduction of the mistake, luckily for me one of the apprentices made the same mistake before i had my turn. I felt guilt as i watched him take a mild beating, but could not confess in time so kept quiet, as i could see no point in both of us getting punished. Years later, that same apprentice is now my boss & a bit of a cock! I take great pleasure in relating this story back to his enemies as "The day i accidently got him beat up" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted March 5, 2018 Paid Members Share Posted March 5, 2018 I was so bored on a video conference end of last year I started drawing a massive flopping cock on my notepad. It was a real good piece, realistic helmet with a slight vain from the head, a little hair on the wrinkled scrotum. It was after about 15 minutes when I moved on to a drawing a fanny with a little inna labia on show that I realised I had no idea where my laptop was facing. After a quick switch to show my camera it was safely out of shot. I have to say I was really disappointed as it was an amazing bit of work. I spent the next 10 minutes thinking 'my career is fucked anyway, good drawing of a willy might be the only praise you're going to get'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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