Mr_Danger Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Definitely some prolapsed anuses on the ukff. I've got on the prune juice twice daily, cleans me out a treat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted June 15, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted June 15, 2015 It's not the size of the shit, less that I only want my faeces to make contact with the ring of my arse and no other part of my bottom area. Basically a completely clean break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I find most of my shitting satisfaction in the 'pinch off' at the end. Show that shit who's boss, that's what I say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I kind of feel robbed if I have one of those sleek bad boys that barely leaves a trail. The tried and tested dry/wet/dry wipe takes care of clinkers etc. Â The mother in law had a bidet in her old house, now that's living. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted June 15, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) Definitely some prolapsed anuses on the ukff.And its all thanks to the patented Loki-Pokey Bum Wank system. It's been described as "lovely stuff". Not my words Mr Danger, the words of Shakin Stevens. Edited June 15, 2015 by Tommy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators PowerButchi Posted June 15, 2015 Author Moderators Share Posted June 15, 2015 (edited) I find most of my shitting satisfaction in the 'pinch off' at the end. Show that shit who's boss, that's what I say.  I hate having to pinch. When I don't need to pinch and it comes out smooth and clean without any guillotine work it tends to result in no news to speak of when it comes time to read the rusty bulletin after completion.  Pinching results in residue, and when you're prone to fissures like I am (from drink, smoking, and straining before someone intimates it's from getting bummed, and bummed hard) it's super fucking painful. Especially when wiping's only going to serve to rub shit (It's the new salt) into the wound. Edited June 15, 2015 by PowerButchi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Tommy! Posted June 15, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 15, 2015 I honestly think I've never strained to take a dump, not in the last 20 or so years. The concept of forcing it out just seems really odd to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbacon85 Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 Â Â I find most of my shitting satisfaction in the 'pinch off' at the end. Show that shit who's boss, that's what I say. I hate having to pinch. When I don't need to pinch and it comes out smooth and clean without any guillotine work it tends to result in no news to speak of when it comes time to read the rusty bulletin after completion. Â Pinching results in residue, and when you're prone to fissures like I am (from drink, smoking, and straining before someone intimates it's from getting bummed, and bummed hard) it's super fucking painful. Especially when wiping's only going to serve to rub shit (It's the new salt) into the wound. Genuinely crying with laughter at this. Â It's all about stealing the kids Kandoo Kiddiwipes, they flush and everything!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Nick Soapdish Posted June 16, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 16, 2015 Andeex Moist toilet tissue FTW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted June 17, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 This once wonderful thread has turned to shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Coconut Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Has there ever been an off-topic thread that's gone to 16 pages without at least briefly covering shitting techniques? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Danger Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 It's the natural cycle, Off Topic Thread>Food> Shitting. With the odd reference to Steves reverse cowgirl style or Loki' Pokey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members PunkStep Posted June 17, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 And the odd reference to Fray Bentos pies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Sergio Mendacious Posted June 17, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 And the odd reference to Fray Bentos pies. Â Which are shit, and not pies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paid Members Thunderplex Posted June 17, 2015 Paid Members Share Posted June 17, 2015 One of the security guards at work eats Fray Bentos pies several times a week, and he's not had a shit for 10 days now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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