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Michael Owen Hates Films / UKFF Loves Food


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If you thrive on being a miserable sad get who just wants to watch the rain fall, then it sounds like a good option. I bet he never goes to Chester, he just watches the smoke in Ellesmere Port.

 

I've just remembered that my mate who didn't read also lived three doors down from a Chinese takeaway, but at 18 he'd never had anything but chips from there. He was also perennially ungirlfriended, despite being a relatively good-looking multi-sports player. Well, he had a girlfriend, but she lived ten miles away, in a hamlet where none of his mates knew anyone, and where I can't imagine he'd have any way to access without a great struggle. No-one ever met her. I think her name changed at least once. 

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I hate people who are weird or fussy about food. My cousin is known for only eating burgers so when he visited me I made beautiful homemade burgers, he wouldn't eat any because they weren't the thin grey McDonald's/tesco value burgers he was used to. He wouldn't eat any Christmas dinner either the cunt. I remember a thread on here ages back where people were revealing their fussy eating habits and it made me hate them all.

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What wanker doesn't like Christmas dinner. It's one of the few good things about the day.

 

I don't like turkey so I'm not a huge Christmas dinner fan. The only thing that I really like about it is piggies in blankets which I will eat by the fucking bucket load.

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Well, I will say that the best christmas dinners I've had weren't turkey, they were big fuck off chickens (capons? Some other kind of gangster?), but I'll partake of the chicken's leathery uncle if that's what's surrounded by pigs in blankets, roast parsnips, etc. I will say that I haven't had a good bit of crackling in years — I'm tempted to order my mum to make us a second Christmas dinner next time we're there.

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I hate people who are weird or fussy about food. My cousin is known for only eating burgers so when he visited me I made beautiful homemade burgers, he wouldn't eat any because they weren't the thin grey McDonald's/tesco value burgers he was used to.

Your cousin's in the right on that one. Big disgusting spherical giant meatball things in baps -- which always seem to be what people come up with when they do "homemade burgers" -- are the worst. When making a burger, you should always be aiming to be as good as the masters at McDonalds and BK, not coming up with something that's the wrong shape and proportions entirely. Many a time I've had to refuse homemade burgers because people haven't a clue how to do them. A burger should never ever be more than 0.5cm thicker than you get in a whopper.

Edited by King Pitcos
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You don't get invited out often, do you Pitcos? ;)

 

Turkey is, if perfectly roasted, just about ok. But the traditional Xmas roast, Goose, is way way nicer. Turkey is a crap American import.

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I hate people who are weird or fussy about food. My cousin is known for only eating burgers so when he visited me I made beautiful homemade burgers, he wouldn't eat any because they weren't the thin grey McDonald's/tesco value burgers he was used to.

Your cousin's in the right on that one. Big disgusting spherical giant meatball things in baps -- which always seem to be what people come up with when they do "homemade burgers" -- are the worst. When making a burger, you should always be aiming to be as good as the masters at McDonalds and BK, not coming up with something that's the wrong shape and proportions entirely. Many a time I've had to refuse homemade burgers because people haven't a clue how to do them. A burger should never ever be more than 0.5cm thicker than you get in a whopper.

 

 

No offence, but you really are why wrestling fans are seen as weirdo asperger boys.

Edited by PowerButchi
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Loki, I get invited out at least once or twice a year by relatives who pity me!

 

 

 

 

I hate people who are weird or fussy about food. My cousin is known for only eating burgers so when he visited me I made beautiful homemade burgers, he wouldn't eat any because they weren't the thin grey McDonald's/tesco value burgers he was used to.

Your cousin's in the right on that one. Big disgusting spherical giant meatball things in baps -- which always seem to be what people come up with when they do "homemade burgers" -- are the worst. When making a burger, you should always be aiming to be as good as the masters at McDonalds and BK, not coming up with something that's the wrong shape and proportions entirely. Many a time I've had to refuse homemade burgers because people haven't a clue how to do them. A burger should never ever be more than 0.5cm thicker than you get in a whopper.

 

 

No offence, but you really are why wrestling fans are seen as weirdo asperger boys.

 

None taken. You're absolutely right. It's a miracle that I wasn't still living with my mother when I hit thirty while crying myself to sleep most nights. Good chance my mid thirties will consist of that though, and on the bright side, I won't see forty either way.

 

Also on the bright side, more disgusting thicko burgers for the rest of you troglodytes!

 

homemadebeefburger_83644_16x9.jpg

 

That should be sliced into about five fucking burgers! How are you even meant to eat the bastard, with a knife and fork or by turning your face into the Scream mask? It's higher than it is wide, akin to watching a television with a 3:6 aspect ratio. Or a video made by someone holding their iPhone the wrong way, which is every iPhone video ever.

Edited by King Pitcos
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See as someone who is an Weirdo Asperger Boy that burger does irritate the fuck out of me. That's not a burger, its an oversized meatball. Its the same as people who put onions in homemade burger, if I want onions, I'll put them on the burger itself, not in it.

Edited by Shy Dad
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Well that's because that photo is an example of a shitty looking burger. Also, it wouldn't be that big once you squashed it down anyway.

 

I am firmly of the view that a decent burger should be something that you can eat with your hands without disassembling, and that maintains its structural integrity such that you're not racing to eat it before it falls apart and you can actually put it down to have some chips and drink midway through.

 

That said, that doesn't just leave you with shitty thin grey fast food burgers; there's loads of fat nice proper burgers out there that fit the bill.

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