Impact wrestling thread - It's a Don West tribute thread now!

[tiger_rick]

It's been seven hours and fifteen days,

and Homicide still hasn't got out of the cage.

[Jon-Carr_92]

For the Smashing Pumkins fans.

 

Despite all my rage

They had a match in an "electrified" cage

[Liam O'Rourke]

There once was a story about a man named Jesse,
A young upstart wrestler, his career would get messy.

 

For in a match with the DJ, who said what the heck,
He tucked his chin on a dive which then fractured his neck.

 

Don't worry said Boss Dixie, we take care of our own,
But poor Jesse would learn the sentiment was overblown.

 

The surgery went well, but when presented the bill,
Dixie forced young Jesse to swallow the bitter pill.

 

"Here we don't help pay for wrestlers' muscles or necks,
But we've saved this million dollars so VKM can fight DX."

 

"We spent our money wisely, like on this lovely red cage,
That no-one can climb out of, leaving fans in a rage."

 

"Or like bringing in Fairplay or Jenna Morasca,
Even if what they produced was a fucking disaster."

 

"We signed Rampage Jackson, not to bring cred to this place,
But because Kurt Angle needs someone for his Friday drag race."

 

"We even opened the wallet to let the Hulkster loose,
Though he left us feeling like we drank Bulldog's orange juice."

 

"And I hate to tell you this Jesse, but I sold your wheelchair,
To have a ride on the ferris wheel at the Jefferson County Fair."

 

Jesse was crushed, he believed she'd be loyal
But his life was turned backwards like a Russo Battle Royal

 

He couldn't understand, it just didn't make sense
Who wouldn't want the Asylum Years for just 99 cents?

 

But he pegged it as turmoil, stupidity and fan doubt
With writing so bad it made Stephen Hawking get up and walk out

 

One day the call came, McMahon was turning it all black
With a demand to the archivist, he sent the tapes TO THE BACK~!

 

And so working at Full Sail, Jesse decided to stop by and be brave
Take one look at the library, and piss on its grave

[Nick Soapdish]

Guard birds and arses that Shark-Boy had bitten.

Barbed wire trees and what Russo had written.

Bald-headed midgets, who wanked off in bins.

Impact at one point showed all of these things.

Bra fuckin o

[Benno]

5 star thread title.

[Guest]

There once was a Hulk who was orange...

 

Ah, damn. Come back to me in a bit.

[HarmonicGenerator]

Luckily Percy Shelley already did a poem about TNA.

 

I met a traveller from an Impact Zone,

Who said- "Six vast and ropeless sides of ring

Stand in Orlando…. Near them, all alone,

Half sunk a shattered logo lies, with Sting,

And Roode and Styles all gone home,

Shows that Dixie had their passions read,

And they survived, though stamped on like lifeless things,

Though Russo mocked them, and their talents bled,

And by the logo, these words appear:

'Our name is TNA, we are wrestling,

Look on our Worked Shoots, ye Marks, and despair!'

Nothing beside remains. Round the Decay

Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare

The lone and level Jarrett is far away.

Edited September 27, 2016 by HarmonicGenerator

[Nick Soapdish]

It's time to turn the lights off,

 

It's Time to put the ring down

 

It's time to face the music

 

TNA is in the ground

 

It's time to laugh at Dixie

 

And her woeful Bischoff deal

 

Should not have moved to Mondays

 

As Hogan don't know best

 

Why do we always watch it

I guess we'll never know

Except for Broke Matt Hardy

Who doesn't actually blow

 

So now its time we parted

why don't we all depart it

It's time we all look past it

 

On the unconventional, un-inspirational, Russo-tastical, Abominational

 

This is what we called a Muppet Show

[PowerButchi]

Trytan.

 

Trytan, Trytan, Trytan.

 

Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan.

 

 

 

I'll take my Ford Tippex now please.

[DJM]

If TNA end up going out of business and are brought out by WWE, do all the TNA contracts become null and every TNA wrestler becomes a free agent, or would everyone under contract become a WWE wrestler?

 

I guess what I am asking is could we see the likes of the Hardy's on Raw next week if WWE buys TNA this weekend?

 

Also, what kind of money are WWE (or the Smashing Pumpkins guy) having to pay for TNA?

[Otto Dem Wanz]

Dixie Carter

Couldn't barter

Harry Arter

Died of laughter

[Guest]

AJ Styles not worth a new deal

Find Monty Brown and turn him heel

Draw a dick on Samoa Joe's face

On the card, Shera will take his place

Lets do away with Daniels & Kaz

And push the Bro-Mans cos I'm a spaz

At times following us can just be laborious

Doesn't help when Vince takes our guy and calls him 'glorious'

We changed the industry when we were hot

But in the end it didn't mean squat

As bad storylines we did excrete

I'll fade away and classify myself as obsolete

You don't know what you got til it's gone

At least we'll always have Ron & Don

[Guest]

Trytan.

 

Trytan, Trytan, Trytan.

 

Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan, Trytan.

is this to the tune of 'Yaya Yaya Kolo Toure'?

[Tommy!]

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

 

Vince McMahon, smiling politely.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Tommy!

[PowerButchi]

Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.

 

Vince McMahon, smiling politely.

 

*****