~*UKFF's Children Thread*~

[simonworden]

On 3/23/2023 at 4:26 PM, Nick James said:

Has anyone got any tips for flying long haul with young children? 

In a few months, we will be flying over 20 hours with out 5yo and 18mo and I'm absolutely dreading the flight. We are flying with Emirates and have booked the front row of seats to allow them a little bit of floor space to play, bought some colouring books etc, but I just can't get excited at all about going, because the thought of 20 hours stuck in a seat with two young kids terrifies me. 

I'm tempted to try those natural calming patches to see if they work, which are suppose to aid sleep etc. I think the 5yo will be fine watching films etc, but the 18mo is at the stage of wanting to just be everywhere. It's not only that, there's the anxiousness around other passengers being annoyed at two young kids being on the plane if they are playing up. 

Planes should have an onboard soft-play to chuck them in, never mind a first class sky lounge. 

I don't envy you there Nick. My son was a nightmare at 1 and we had such a hard time we decided not to visit the UK until mid 2024 because we don't want to deal with his active chaos on a long haul anytime soon. A few pieces of possible advice though.

Bring some activities he likes such as books, crayons, toys but you'll never have enough.

 

If he isn't addicted to a show that's downloadable get him addicted now. 

 

Don't worry about other passengers, sounds like your sat in the kid area and if they were too stupid/shit/last minute to find an area with less kids that's on them. You and your kids have every right to be there and they are children who behave as they want normally let alone a compressed tin box

Try to time naps to be on the plane

Eat well before you fly as meals will be chaos and you might not get to eat. I had the little one asleep on me and missed my big meal.

I don't know where your going but consider a 1 or 2 day stopover if you have time in Dubai, there are some reasonable hotels surprisingly! Even if it doesn't interest you, you'll body will thank you especially when you go west to east

 

[Mr_Danger]

Fuck other people complaining about noisy kids. You can cancel noise you can’t cancel kids, as hard as GB News (and me) have tried.

[Mr_Danger]

On 4/28/2023 at 7:57 PM, Mr_Danger said:

My 10 year old at the school pick up.

10 Year old: Darren, I’m going to call you barren because it means bald.

Me: No it doesn’t.

10 year old: What does it mean then?

Me: Like devoid of life or land where nothing grows.

10 year old: Like your head then so I’m going to call you barren.

10 year olds best friend: Hi Barren.

You get back what you put in…

[Wretch]

My now wife and myself tied the knot back in December 2021. Having agreed to wait until we wed to try for kids, we started pretty much straight away after the big day. Eighteen months on, and despite being at it 2 or 3 times a week, fuck all is happening. At the beginning, waiting those few minutes until we could look at the test result was dead exciting. Just a case of “ah well, maybe next time”. And you know what, I really believed it. Now, we dread herself taking the test because each negative result is a kick in the bollocks. She’s hurting every time, and while I try my best to be strong for her, I’m gutted every time too.

Last week I found out that my dole scrounging cousin and her partner are expecting their first grandchild in November. She’s 36. Continuing on the family business of knocking them out like rats (most of my Dad’s side of the family are all like this). How the fuck is that fair? I know that sounds nasty and I’ll probably edit my post when I’ve perked up, but nevertheless that’s how I’m feeling at this moment in time.

Anyone have any experience with struggling to conceive? Always just figured kids would be in my future but having to accept they might not is a tough pill to swallow.

[SuperBacon]

For our second child, my ex and I "tried" for about 18 months and it didn't happen.

As soon as we stopped "trying", BANG. Preggers.

Now there is obviously no Science behind this, but I was probably overthinking it (stress?) or putting it in the wrong hole.

Bacon's advice: Find the right hole, lower your stress, achieve your goal, wipe up your mess.

Good luck! 

Edited June 1, 2023 by SuperBacon

[waters44]

If you’re over 30 (I think) and don’t have kids already you should start the process through NHS and you will get IVF treatment for free. Not a guarantee of course but worth trying. My friend recently had a baby through IVF. 

We already had one kid but couldn’t conceive again. We looked at IVF but the cost was so high we couldn’t afford it

All the best

EDIT - I also agree with Bacon that stress won’t be helping. If I was you I would throw out all the tests, your wife will realise she’s pregnant eventually so there’s no need to go through that disappointment regularly. Also you can get vitamins and stuff which may help although I don’t know much about them. Have a little look in a pharmacy next time you’re in town

Edited June 1, 2023 by waters44

[FLips]

We’ve been “trying” in the sense that we’re not actively at it all the time but we don’t use protection in the hopes one day it’ll happen. It’s been a couple of years now and nothing’s happening and I think we’ve both resigned ourselves to the fact it probably never will. With us both being in our early 30s now and the country and economy fucked, I’m not even sure we even think it’s a good idea anyway.

 

[deathrey]

@WretchWe struggled to concieve and I can relate to everything you're saying, I stopped pregnancy testing as I found it soul crushing. I always knew we would be likely to struggle as I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) in my teens. PCOS makes getting pregnant very difficult and staying pregnant even harder.  Lots of women have it and dont know as there is not always obvious symptoms - I had periods from hell so my GP tested me.

I was told to try for a year and then if nothing happeneds to see my GP and get a specialist referral so thats what I did. We were both tested again as thats that they do. I was 35 by this point. Fell pregnant after the testing as one of the tests can temporarily increase fertility but miscarried at 12 weeks. Then fell pregnant and miscarried again 5 months later but lost it very early this time. We were put on tablets to make me ovulate, that failed and then we were eventually referred for IVF and were incredibly lucky that it worked first time and I had my little boy at 37. IVF is not available on the NHS in all areas and its success rates aren't fantastic so I know I was very lucky.  I fell pregnant with my second son by accident (I obviously ignored the dont use your infertility as contraception message) and had him at 39.  I include my age because age is the enemy of fertility but it can happen at an older age so it's not a reason to give up.

Medical advice is that if the female is under 35 and you haven't conceived after 2 years of regular sex (twice a week) see your GP for further investigation (1 year of trying for over 35's). It may be something simple like a hormone imbalance that is easily corrected and identified by a blood test so it's worth going to see your GP as a couple as the first port of call. Fertility referrals take forever though so I would recommend starting the ball rolling sooner rather than later. If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer them here or feel free to drop me a DM if you would prefer. 

[SuperBacon]

Thanks for sharing @deathrey

I also would like to add a small personal story that I've ummed and ahhed about sharing before, but it might help someone.

My ex and I have a fabulous relationship. We are really good friends, get on really well, but just didn't work as a couple. It happens, shit happens. We have two wonderful children who we love more than anything.

Anyway, about 3 years ago, she sends me an article and asks me to read it. It was about a woman who was born without a womb (can't think of the term right now) who was desperate for a child, but couldn't. My ex asked me what I thought. I say "yeah that's sad" (obviously is) and she tells me she would like to become a surrogate. I say I fully support her and I would even if we were together. 

Anyway, she has already done a ton of research and has found a charity that pair up surrogates with couples (and single people) and she's ready to meet people.

I have LOADS of questions as I, like most people, am uninformed. I ask about legalities (quite a few), will you be paid (no, its illegal in this country), will the baby have your DNA (No, she just cooks it) and so on.

She meets E & D, the loveliest couple ever (despite him being Chelsea scum) I meet them too, our kids meet them, they stay over, buy them presents. They are quite frankly the sort of couple you wish every happiness to. They go through all the legal bits, my ex goes through the psychiatric testing (how she passes I'll never know waaaaheeeeey) and here's a mad bit.

Because we are still married, even though I do obviously agree with what she's doing, I have to sign a document in front of a lawyer saying that I DON'T agree with it, otherwise I'd have legal right to go on the birth certificate. Mad and backwards. (In fact there was recently a massive bill that is going through soon to Commons, Lords etc as some of the laws surrounding surrogacy are stupid.)

The embryos are transferred and all goes well. The only concern I have is for my exes wellbeing, her health etc. She says she feels no attachment when it kicks, as she is just "doing a job" and obviously it's hard on E (the woman) when she asks questions as she doesn't want to upset her as she will never experience this.

There is one incredibly awkward moment during the pregnancy when I take my ex and kids for breakfast one morning and ask to be moved as some old Doris' perfume is making her feel sick. Before I know it the words "She's pregnant. Not with my child, it's for another couple...these are my kids with her though" come out of my mouth (the waiter didn't even ask) whilst my ex stares at me with the look that says 'this is why we're not together'

Anyway, baby E was born about 18 months ago now and is doing incredibly well. E & D are still in touch and visits have been made and its lovely for our girls as they're like extended family for them (our girls were amazing with the pregnancy, and Alexa even stayed home with Mum, with schools permission for the last couple of weeks so transmission of covid wasn't high)

She said it would only be the once, but because she is now an advocate for the charity, she found another deserving couple, so she is currently going through the initial stages of that with them with the intention to give birth for them around new years I think. 

Again, wonderful couple. Same deal, his sperm, her eggs, ex just cooks

Amazing woman, and a heart of gold (dunno what she was doing with me), and I would just like to say that not every birth journey is straight forward, but there are always options out there, which is why I'm finally posting this. 

There is so much misconception around surrogacy (I knew nothing) and I'm not saying I have the answers but if anyone would like to confidentially reach out I'm happy to help.

Will she stop at two? Will she fuck. 

She's mental*

 

 

*No one send her this. She's quite scary. 

[deathrey]

That is an absolutley amazing thing that she is doing @SuperBacon. She is having a profound impact on and changing peoples lives for the better. 

As someone who found pregnancy physically challenging, both during and afterwards (honestly, I have the back of an 80 year old now, if I roll on to my back in my sleep, I can't physically get out of bed in the morning, I feel like I'm paralyzed) she is being so incredibly selfless in doing this. God (or whatever deity you believe in) bless her.

[SuperBacon]

15 minutes ago, deathrey said:

incredibly selfless

See, she says its not as she loves the feeling of being pregnant and giving birth 🤣

Told you she was mental

[deathrey]

Well it is amazing but it takes a similar physical toll on the body to climbing Mount Everest.... but I guess some nutters enjoy that too!

Even if she enjoys it, I still think she is selfless. Contractions are no joke even if you get the most amazing euphoric rush you can ever feel afterwards.

Edit: I'm not calling her a nutter

Edited June 1, 2023 by deathrey

[Mr_Danger]

6 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

See, she says its not as she loves the feeling of being pregnant and giving birth 🤣

Told you she was mental

What are the chances we can get her to give birth to the worlds first UKFF surrogate baby and give them a UKFF username without her knowing? We can all take it in turns to have a go at raising it. Theoretically it’ll have everything  it needs, Dev for the films, Uncle Butch for advice with the love making, Carbomb to teach it about poncey stuff, Jazzy for health and safety tips etc. Just keep 90% of us away from the potty training.

[Jazzy G]

Was round my friend's yesterday and she had that Hey Duggee on for her kids. It's wacky, but highly amusing, appeals to my sense of humour. I'd never seen it before. Thoroughly entertaining. There was a bit with a huge bubble and it kept looking like it was going to land on stuff and pop? Deliciously wacky.

[Wretch]

Thanks for taking the time to reply to my rambling shite @deathrey, @waters44, @FelatioLips @SuperBacon. I do feel a bit bad now about that cunty remark about my cousin. I was just having a bit of a sulk, sorry about that. Deathrey - might PM you later on if your offer still stands.

Still, Friday night, eh? We go again.