~*UKFF's Children Thread*~

[Mr.E]

It does seem like one on its own is pretty easy to manage, and shit only really gets out of control with two or more.

 

It depends on the parent I think.

 

I have one child, who's a six year old girl who is trying to do all sorts of new things now shes getting older, but I suffer from anxiety disorder, so as you can imagine with a little madam running about trying to climb things/pick things up/generally touch everything in the super market, its hard work....at least for me and my over thinking mind.

 

But as others have pointed out, its well worth it. That being said, I currently couldn't commit to having a second child, as I think I'd legitimately lose my mind.

[wandshogun09]

We want more kids. We've been trying for ages for our second but no luck yet. My daughter's basically demanded a sister and when we asked what her name would be she said Elsa the Snow Queen from Frozen. So that's that then.

[John Matrix]

My situation is almost identical to Lamby's above.  Eldest is almost 2 and a half if you can believe that, youngest is just over 7mths.

 

I wouldn't even class our kids as hard work.  Both sleep great, neither has much in the way of tantrums, we've got a pretty good routine established, nap and bed times are consistent, the eldest is able to help with basic tasks, fetching a spare nappy etc, in that respect, we've got things pretty cushty. 

 

BUT I'M ABSOLUTELY FUCKING KNACKERED. PERMANANTELY.

 

Like Lamby, I work a relatively simple 9 to 5, it's not physically demanding and although we have a support network locally, we're a bit old fashioned in that we had kids because we wanted to have them in our lives, to spend our time with them, watching them grow up, they've never spent a night away from us other than when we both came down with a sickness bug on the same day much to the chargrin of inlaws, aunts and uncles etc.

 

As for me, I'm only really on Dad duty for an hour or so in the evenings, and all day at weekends.  Sounds a doddle but I tell you, as much as I love my kids and hate the thought of spending a second away from them, come Monday morning I can't wait to go to work...and I hate my job right now. 

 

For me, it's the feeling of being constantly relied upon I find so hard to deal with, I know that's ultimately the job description in a nutshell, but I cant move, or put something away, or get up and have a drink, because one might roll on the other, or I need to retrieve the spoon that's just been thrown under the table, or fetch Mr Potato Head's ear that's just out of reach.  I find that suffocating, which is ironic given I'm about as needy as human beings get, but after a couple of days, I'm absolutely desperate, not necessarily to interact with other adults, more to not have to interact with anyone and just give my brain the opportunity to recover.

 

What I'm saying, is that I love and cherish every single moment that I get to spend with my boys.  Undoubtedly.  But there's absolutely no way I could cope with being a stay at home parent and never having a moment to exist on my own terms. 

 

For example, on a typical, it's up at 7:30, breakfast and playtime before dinner at 11, and naptime at 11:30.  One of us is on parenting duty while the other attempts something resembling housework.  Once the boys are asleep, it's clearing up the carnage left behind in the kitchen from two mealtimes, and if we're lucky, half an hour to grab a bath or put feet up, before they wake. 

 

Then its the same routine between 2 and 6pm at which point it's bath and bedtime wind down and again, inevitably once they eventually drop off, there's an arseload of dishes to wash up, toys to put away and so on.  If I managed to get my shower earlier great, i'll get around to starting my freelance stuff around 10pm - if not, then its bathtime and I wont get on till closer to 11ish. 

 

To keep up, I work until I'm done, or the laptop battery dies, whichever sooner, and for the past two weeks, it's been an average 2am bedtime.

 

We're thinking about having a third, but childcare costs are crippling us at present, and whilst we've discussed the possibility of my wife stopping work to look after the children during the day, I honestly believe nursery is the best place for a child - not through any reflection on the parents, I know some people and I'd include my wife in that were born to parent and take to it like a duck to water, taking everything in their stride..  But it gives them the social skills you cant possibily replicate popping to the weekly toddler group or having friends round ad-hoc, and more importantly, it gives adults the separation and downtime they need to recover and cope with the mental strain of being constantly in demand.

 

I wouldn't change a thing, but I'm firmly in the 'not cut out to be a stay at home parent' camp.  That said, if I did, I'd probably just spend from now until the end of time trying to get my kids to do something like this...

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z477UBwhVuM

[Mr.E]

 

For me, it's the feeling of being constantly relied upon I find so hard to deal with

 

 

Its that, coupled with anxiety issues on my end, that end up really leaving me on edge. Mine is getting older now, so needs me on hand less and less, but that doesn't mean I'm less on edge, just in case something happens. Any time we go one of those play-barn type places, I'm forever watching her to make sure shes ok.

 

I remember about 2 weeks in, making bottles and just thinking "what the hell am I doing?", as the whole experience was new/overwhelming you just find yourself needing a mentor, when you're an adult and have to "just do it" .

[dopper]

 

It does seem like one on its own is pretty easy to manage, and shit only really gets out of control with two or more.

 

But as others have pointed out, its well worth it. That being said, I currently couldn't commit to having a second child, as I think I'd legitimately lose my mind.

 

 

This is me also.

 

My wife is part of a Facebook group of women who all fell pregnant at the same time, had kids at the same time, and all keep in touch knowing they are going through the same things. It's a pretty good idea.

But now a lot of them are pregnant with their second, and it's got her wanting another.

 

I keep thinking of the logical stuff like the financial aspects, childcare (we have retired parents and other family who each don't mind caring for our boy one day a week but don't fancy looking after two at the same time), and stuff.

My wife's sole reasoning however is "He would love a little brother or sister".

 

I have an older brother - who was the son our Dad always wanted - and he was a right arsehole to me for 14 years until he moved out.

So I'm not as in love with the idea of having to have a second kid as my wife is.

Edited July 15, 2016 by dopper

[lambyUK]

That Rocky video is brilliant Matrix. The best bit is the kid attempting the one arm push ups!

 

It's incredible their memory at such an early age though.

 

Regarding a couple of things,

 

 

 

Once the boys are asleep, it's clearing up the carnage left behind in the kitchen from two mealtimes, and if we're lucky, half an hour to grab a bath or put feet up, before they wake. 

 

This is the big thing for me. When I'm coming home from work I know what I'm walking into, an absolute disaster zone that's going to take at least 1-2 hours to sort out, and that's after the routine of actually getting them both to bed and getting yourself sorted. 

 

In regards to Mr E above, I think that's completely normal. It's what's being a parent is, always worried about what your kids are doing and making sure they are ok. 

[Mr.E]

 

 

It does seem like one on its own is pretty easy to manage, and shit only really gets out of control with two or more.

 

But as others have pointed out, its well worth it. That being said, I currently couldn't commit to having a second child, as I think I'd legitimately lose my mind.

 

 

This is me also.

 

My wife is part of a Facebook group of women who all fell pregnant at the same time, had kids at the same time, and all keep in touch knowing they are going through the same things. It's a pretty good idea.

But now a lot of them are pregnant with their second, and it's got her wanting another.

 

I keep thinking of the logical stuff like the financial aspects, childcare (we have retired parents and other family who each don't mind caring for our boy one day a week but don't fancy looking after two at the same time), and stuff.

My wife's sole reasoning however is "He would love a little brother or sister".

 

I have an older brother - who was the son our Dad always wanted - and he was a right arsehole to me for 14 years until he moved out.

So I'm not as in love with the idea of having to have a second kid as my wife is.

 

Mrs E is the same, wanted another for a little while, and dropping the line "she would love a brother/sister". I eventually find the line to reason with this though, its that (My wife at least) really like having a baby. Not a Toddler/bigger kid, but a new born baby.

 

Upon dropping that one on her, she realised that is 100% correct, (as well as stuff like we can't afford another etc). I was an only child for like 16 years, and loved having a sister once I was older. That's not to say what we'd do that, but for now 1 is enough to take up all my attention/time.

[Surf Digby]

Well, I've got one week to go. The missus is being induced next Tuesday. The cot is built, the overdraft is blown on John Lennon bedding and accessories, and I've been told in no uncertain terms that I don't get to pick the music in the delivery suite. The "overnight" bag is so equipped for every eventuality it wouldn't be allowed on an aeroplane without paying extra.

 

I can't say I'm looking forward to the noise and mess, but I still don't think it's a big deal.

 

I was a pretty young parent so I had plenty of energy

I was the first time round, whereas now I'm a broken down wreck so it's going to be very different in that respect. On one hand, am I letting him down because I won't be capable of doing all the physical things I did with my daughter. On the other hand, am I letting her down by whatever I do with him to compensate for it?

 

Chatting about it today at work with my manager, and she went into insane level of details about what feeding her son did to her breasts. She's a good looking woman, my boss. I don't need her telling me to imagine what her tits are like and then expect me to be focussing on my work.

[Surf Digby]

 

He's coming!

[PunkStep]

Your son has Shawn Michaels' chin mate.

 

Anyway good luck!

Edited July 27, 2016 by PunkStep

[Surf Digby]

Your son has Shawn Michaels' chin mate.

Seems appropriate seeing as I have his hairline.

[Surf Digby]

Ladies and Gentlemen, making his way into the world and weighing in at 6lbs and 13 ounces, Isaac Travis Digby.

 

 

Please buy some of his merch. He's only working for exes.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Nostalgia Nonce

[Onyx2]

Tremendous! Nice one.

[FLips]

Well done Diggers!

[Surf Digby]

He's surprisingly small, as he was 6lbs 5 two weeks ago. I was expecting somewhere in the region of 8lbs 2. He's a whole two pounds lighter than my daughter was.

 

Something else I learned is that Caesareans are not gentle procedures of precision scalpel work and manipulation. They were bounding around in there like someone trying to dismantle a rusted up tractor engine.