Alternative names in your contacts

[air_raid]

I haven’t got any that interesting but it never fails to amuse me that Mrs raid hates her sister so much that rather than her name, she exists in her contacts as merely “Siostra” - that being Polish for “Sister.” She doesn’t merit a name.

[waters44]

It’s not on his phone but my Uncle shortens everyone’s name, to the point where eventually he will just call you by your first initial. It’s like we’re in a James Bond film at family get togethers. He shortened Tim to T. Why does he need to shorten Tim?! 

[Chico Torres]

1 hour ago, Carbomb said:

To be honest, I like using "Keffer" because there was a brief period in the 90s when, according to my cousins in Yorkshire, the word "keff" was slang for "fart" - "Who's keffed?", etc.

Could be awkward if said user is a black South African

[Chico Torres]

1 hour ago, Carbomb said:

 

Edited July 31, 2025 by Chico Torres
I learnt South African politics from Lethal Weapon 2

[Mr_Danger]

One of my kids asked me to get her a packet of Harry Bows from the shop. That’s her phone name for life.

[Onyx2]

2 hours ago, JNLister said:

I remember trying and failing to make "Keffname" the official term for how you'd refer to your UKFF user name when meeting in person

Easy for you to say, John. You're not named after oral sex or dads like half the board. 

[Cannibal Man]

all the old weed men are under the first name GARY with surnames to indicate where or how I met them, oldest one being GARY THE ORIGINATOR

Edited July 31, 2025 by Cannibal Man

[JLM]

7 minutes ago, Cannibal Man said:

all the old weed men are under the first name GARY with surnames to indicate where and how I mate them, oldest one being GARY THE ORIGINATOR

Love this. I had a guy named Callum, best weed man I’ve ever had, until impostors started to arrive. I’d call the same number but different guys would answer and turn up. They were less reliable and had a far more limited selection of wares. The original was also the most discreet, the most pleasant to deal with and had an excellent dog.

The other Callums said they were working for Callum, some of them even claimed to BE Callum when I asked for their names. So I have Callum,  Callum 2, Not Callum and Shit Callum. Shit Callum the last resort number. Then, one glorious day, I called Callum and the actual original man turned up. I told him the what had happened and he said he had some people who helped him do drops and some of them had started giving out their numbers, stealing his customers and selling them shite.  

So I got another number for him directly and saved it as “The One True Callum.” Callum the originator would have been cooler though. 

[lars85]

I used to know four Pauls. And rather than do something like use their surnames I had them saved as Work Paul, Gay Paul, Heroin Paul and Hamburglar Paul.

Edited July 31, 2025 by lars85
.

[air_raid]

18 minutes ago, JLM said:

So I got another number for him directly and saved it as “The One True Callum.” Callum the originator would have been cooler though. 

One Callum to rule them all, one Callum to find them. One Callum to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

[Devon Malcolm]

Probably not in the comedic spirit of this thread to date, but 18yo's best friend lost her stepdad and her birth dad in the space of a couple of years. I've become good friends with the family and recently found out she calls me 'DAD 3' in her phone. 

[ReturnOfTheMack]

That's actually very sweet.

[Devon Malcolm]

11 minutes ago, ReturnOfTheMack said:

That's actually very sweet.

Yeah, I had to rush 18yo out the living room when he told me that so I could have a good sob.

[Sergio Mendacious]

Not a contact, but I once picked up a call from "Judge Dredd," and after he apologized for calling (his mate used to have the number that I had now) he explained that he'd called up his service provider and had his location changed to Judge Dredd.

[Chest Rockwell]

37 minutes ago, Sergio Mendacious said:

Not a contact, but I once picked up a call from "Judge Dredd," and after he apologized for calling (his mate used to have the number that I had now) he explained that he'd called up his service provider and had his location changed to Judge Dredd.

I have you in my phone as [firstname] Diarrhea, because that was part of your username at the time when I met you.