Alternative names in your contacts

[Jazzy G]

Not quite the same, but my driving instructor is saved in my phone as "Khurram Acorn (driving instructor)" but the image I've chosen for him is this one of Totoro driving an acorn car. 

Edited July 31, 2025 by Jazzy G

[Sergio Mendacious]

On 7/31/2025 at 5:30 PM, Chest Rockwell said:

I have you in my phone as [firstname] Diarrhea, because that was part of your username at the time when I met you. 

I think I can beat that — when me and my wife were first dating transatlantically, she came over for a weeklong visit, and then went home with no solid plans except I had tickets for a couple of months. Then, her grandad told her "here's the money for a return flight and some spending cash" and she booked another flight.

She landed at Heathrow, and they pulled her to one side to ask why she had a return flight for a weeks time, had only flown back to the USA for a week, and only had cabin baggage.

They looked at her most recent calls, and saw Spike, which was part of my OG internet username which she'd put down as my contact name. I guess it was a toss up between "Spike is a drug dealer name" and "Spike is a vampire name," as they accused her of being a smuggler who dumped her stash in a panic. Kept her for six hours without a call, finally she convinced them to let her call Spike and I went down there and vouched for her. They let her go, with the admonishment "don't travel to the UK for three months."

[BomberPat]

On 7/31/2025 at 8:33 PM, lars85 said:

I used to know four Pauls. And rather than do something like use their surnames I had them saved as Work Paul, Gay Paul, Heroin Paul and Hamburglar Paul.

My mate had a Big Mike, Shit Mike, Work Mike, and Pub Mike in his phone, and when another Mike from his work asked him what was left for him if he couldn't be Big Mike or Work Mike, he said, "there's already a Gay Mike too", which really pissed him off. Some classic early '00s homophobia, but it was funny at the time. I think he became Judo Mike in the end. He was the same bloke who got so annoyed by The Lighthouse Family coming on that he kicked in the radio in his work van.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

I don't know about you lot but I have several different groups of contacts that came from different parts of my life. For example when I used to work on the markets I would put the first name followed by what they sold. Examples would be 

Pauline Cakes

Mark Carpets

Colin China

Leon Swag

Graham Watches. 

If Graham Watches didn't sell watches then that would be a much more sinister name. 

Then after that are people who I know through cricket. Most are just saved under the team they captain, so Alford 2s, Lindum 3s for example. The only personalised one was the number of a former England women's test player who was saved as Never Out Nora, because she complained about getting out LBW every week. 

After that is friends and family. The only names that aren't down as their actual names are my sister who is under Two Sips, because when she has any drink she only takes two sips and leaves the rest and my mate Andy who is down as Like Liquorice because his surname is Fenelley. 

[Carbomb]

"Leon Swag" is a great wrestler's name.

[SuperBacon]

1 hour ago, Lion_of_the_Midlands said:

Pauline Cakes

Mark Carpets

Colin China

Leon Swag

Graham Watches. 

These are very Bob Mortimer.

[Lion_of_the_Midlands]

35 minutes ago, Carbomb said:

"Leon Swag" is a great wrestler's name.

Leon was an old fella from Leicester. He would work the East Coast late April to the beginning of September then he would work other markets the rest of the year until he had sold all the tat he had left. Swag was a great catch all term that meant anything he could get really. You know the sort of touristy shite your nan would buy on holiday. Big pot dogs, a shire horse pulling a gypsy caravan, that sort of thing. 

[BomberPat]

one that I've just remembered, after receiving an email from someone with the same name.

I knew a bloke called "John Paul", and I had him in my contacts as "George Ringo". 

[gmoney]

Ha, there's a basketball player who used to play for the Clippers called Paul George that I call John Ringo.