Sports films

[SuperBacon]

White Men Can't Jump

Still a brilliant film, and one I think I watch every year.

It's amazing how much I fancy Rosie Perez, although imagine listening to her all day. No wonder Billy sodded off so much to play basketball. A fantastic soundtrack as well. 10/10

Remember The Titans

Based on the pictures I've seen of this, the graphic on Disney + and what little I've read, I knew EXACTLY what this would be like. All sweeping scores, sentimentality and SERIOUSNESS, which it was, but I quite enjoyed it despite all that.

"Right Bacon, so you think racial inequality is a boring subject, you're a shit!" Well not quite, but I did think this story would be dry, but the cast, and Denzel especially, lift it above the usual schmaltz. 

A young Ryan Gosling (when he was a proper gosling) features as well. 7/10

[Hannibal Scorch]

I recently saw Next Goal Wins based on the documentary of the same name. Was a breezy fun watch on a Sunday afternoon.

[gmoney]

On 1/22/2024 at 12:15 PM, Mr_Danger said:

Never thought I’d see the words ‘Hoop Dreams’ and ‘Above the Rim’ mentioned on here in a purely filmic sense.

Most disappointing double bill @Scott Malbranque ever went to.

[Magnum Milano]

20 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

I recently saw Next Goal Wins based on the documentary of the same name. Was a breezy fun watch on a Sunday afternoon.

I watched this a couple of days ago, and just about enjoyed it (probably due to my fondness of the documentary), this after thinking I was going to hate it after the first few minutes. There is some creative license in the film itself for dramatic effect and on the whole the comedy wasn't to my taste.

Hoosiers was the first film that came to mind on seeing the title of the thread.

[SuperBacon]

The Football Factory

Right, let's get something out of the way. When I was late teens/early twenties I was a bit of a nob (obviously I still am), and fancied myself as a bit of a geezer.

You are all aware I went to a Krays funeral, and read all those dreadful Dan the Daggerman from Dagenham books, and there was nothing I liked better than going out and getting shitfaced, and whole weekends would be lost to blackouts and occasional fights.

But despite loving a bit of aggro, I am not a strong or powerful man, I just thought it was a laugh, but then I thought Nuts and Zoo were a laugh.

So when this film came out, of course I enjoyed it. Apart from the dreadful violence, it was quite relevant. Chatting up girls, sorry "slosh pots", in clubs soundtracked by The Streets? Facking rucks at the football? Look, there's White Hart Lane! Look, there's Valentinos! Oi ooooooiiiiiiiii saveloooooooy. For maybe 2 years, everyone got told to "jog on" 

Look, here I am in a lemon Charles Tyrwhitt polo shirt in Spain, being the big Bacon bollocks. DOYOUFACKINGWANTITCUNT? 

Anyway, this is a HILARIOUS film. Of course it's not supposed to be, but it really is. 

"What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!" Come on, that is absolute comedy!

Most of the dialogue is amazingly funny, the characters are top nobheads, and I reckon they had a right laugh making this. Soundtrack is pure Best of NME 2004 as well. 

Now, and this is is just for @PunkStepreally as he loves my name drops, through family, I've actually spent time with a lot of the cast in real life (clang clang the Football Kfoggtory) and they are quite nice people, and I'm not going to slag off their acting too much, but it's absolutely shit, Dyer aside, who is IMO a good actor (At one point he says "I can't wait to see your fanny" to Kara Tointon, which is really funny and a fair enough sentiment)

The reason I've spent a lot of time with them, is a very close family member, is/was one of these nobheads at Arsenal over the years and subsequently knows everyone in this sort of scene, so birthdays, weddings etc were full of them.

And maybe that's why I find it so funny, as he is a pure caricature of a person, but at the same time, exactly like all these "soppy bollocks" in the film. This film is deadly serious, these twats exist and they are to be taken seriously, in Nick Loves opinion.

Zeberdee in particular was atrocious, and for a "boy" in their youth firm, had a worryingly receding hairline. Maybe that's what supporting Chelsea does?

So maybe I am more fond of the film than I should be, due to all of the above. But its a bad film, don't get me wrong. I actually wouldn't have minded a whole film of the two old boys to be honest, they were good for a laugh.

Anyway, jog on you mugs.

7/10 

Oh, and I've just remembered that the first time I went to a gig at DIY Space For London, you have to get off at South Bermondsey, and was genuinely a bit thrilled to walk through the tunnel they have the final fight in. What a sad man I am.

[DavidB6937]

I like how you're nearly cupping that guy's arse.

[TheBurningRed]

I would class The Football Factory as a comedy. The ridiculousness of it and some of the lines (which me and a couple of mates still quote) is just hilarious. Billy Bright and Fred shouting insults before having a fight at their kids youth match is classic. 

See also Green Street. 

[SuperBacon]

10 minutes ago, TheBurningRed said:

Billy Bright and Fred shouting insults before having a fight at their kids youth match is classic. 

Spell it you cunt.

[wordsfromlee]

The funniest bit about The Football Factory is the fact that the sequel is called Marching Powder.

[SuperBacon]

15 minutes ago, wordsfromlee said:

The funniest bit about The Football Factory is the fact that the sequel is called Marching Powder.

Just reading about this, and it doesn't sound like it is a direct sequel.

Sounds bloody excellent though. 

"The secret’s out. I’m going back to work with The Football Factory director Nick Love. We’re gonna be bang on The Marching Powder — that’s the name of the film — which starts on January 15, and I cannot wait. There’s gonna be more crime, more drugs, some serious ultra violence, and you’re gonna love it. Merry f****** Christmas.”

[JNLister]

Bromley Boys was surprisingly fun if you too dreamt of somehow becoming the manager of a sixth tier football team in the mid-80s despite being a child. Though it did turn out three years after its release that I was its nerdiest viewer to date:

 

 

[TildeGuy~!]

“We’ll get the beers safe and then we’ll outflank em” will always get a laugh out of me.

[SuperBacon]

The Underdoggs 

Snoop plays a retired arrogant football player who because of community service has to coach a pee wee team.

I thought this was a kids film but it's not as every other word is fuck (one point early on he calls the kids a bunch of "dusty moterfuckers" which got a laugh out of me) and despite not being very good or having any plot, it's quite watchable, Snoop being charismatic enough to carry it through, and Mike Epps as his mate Kareem is pretty funny.

The film is exactly how it sounds, so if you like Snoop you'll probably like it.

Also it is always mental to be reminded of just how much Snoop looks like an actual dog. It's uncanny. 6/10 

 

[SuperBacon]

Next Goal Wins

It's fine. It's obviously a heartwarming story and it's told well, and its exactly how I thought it would be, but it's still really bland and mawkish.

The documentary is excellent, so maybe that didn't help as the story has already been told as well as it could with the actual people.

Also, all the kits were absolutely shit. All Lotto jobs. That annoyed me.

Taika Wahiti seems like a decent dude, and I've liked pretty much all his films, but I reckon he needs to take a break for a few years as his style and presentation is becoming really formulaic and boring.

6/10