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Posted

Well it's happened again. Another instalment in the ongoing saga of Lion goes to a funeral with unexpected occurrences. 

I've been to a funeral today in Stoke. Not a member of my family, a friend of mines aunt. He can't drive at the minute as he's just had an operation. He asked if I would drive him as he didn't want to take his wife and kids as while he remembered his aunt fondly from when he was a kid, she had lead let's say an "Interesting" life without wishing to speak ill of the dead. 

Travel was fine a couple of hours each way, no real hassle. On the way my friend explained that the funeral might be quite tense as his aunt who had 6 children had made a will that spelled out very clearly which of her children were getting something and which weren't, but that she has died before signing it so the will was invalid and everything was to be split equally 6 ways. As you would imagine this has caused some unpleasantness. 

So when we get to the crematorium things are tense. Half of her kids are not talking to the other half, her friends who are an interesting collection of people are already a bit drunk even though it is 11am on a Monday morning and me and my friend stick out because we are suited and booted, I think a few of them thought we were the police or the benefits people there to nab someone. 

The service was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, afterwards her partner says to my friend "You will come for a drink before you go back" so of course we do. The pub we go to wasn't of the flat roofed variety but it was certainly in that spirit. Rough as a blind carpenters thumb, bars over the windows. We go in, get a drink, both of us without talking about it chose a drink that came in a bottle so we didn't have to have a manky looking glass or anything from a tap. Everyone else from the crematorium is there apart from her partner, who we then see come out from behind the small stage at the end of the pub and pick up the microphone from its stand. He then proceeds to explain that my friends aunt had wanted her wake to start with anyone who wanted to singing a karaoke song. He preceeded to sing You've Lost That Loving Feeling by The Righteous Brothers, breaking down in tears at the end and having to be helped off stage. Needless to say we didn't sing a song, just brought him a brandy to calm his nerves, made our excuses and left. I'd imagine there was a fight at some point after we'd gone but on the whole we spent most of the journey back laughing about what a bizarre time it had been. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, SuperBacon said:

What do we reckon would've been the most inappropriate song to sing?

Off the top of my head, something completely the opposite to a death, Dancing Queen or something. 

Burn Baby Burn

  • Paid Members
Posted
3 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

What do we reckon would've been the most inappropriate song to sing?

Off the top of my head, something completely the opposite to a death, Dancing Queen or something. 

Moving on Up by M-People for multiple reasons.

Posted
3 hours ago, SuperBacon said:

What do we reckon would've been the most inappropriate song to sing?

Off the top of my head, something completely the opposite to a death, Dancing Queen or something. 

I think you're asking the wrong question. It should be WHO should be  singing not what they're singing. And quite frankly I'm disappointed they didn't throw out the big bucks.

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Posted
16 minutes ago, JLM said:

Have to say that wasn't as much of a rib-tickler as Lion-O's story. 

Sorry, realise it brought the mood down a touch! It seemed relevant though as it's definitely the oddest funeral I've been to. 

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Posted
36 minutes ago, Devon Malcolm said:

Like the last 15 minutes of Shaun of the Dead.

That'd be quite funny at a funeral, as the curtains close and the coffin goes....

 

"......gay"

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