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Your Conspiracy Theory Free Pass


Keith Houchen

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1 hour ago, Keith Houchen said:

That’s amazing, but do you believe it, or at least, won’t dismiss it?

There is the tiniest bit of me that can’t shake how I’d feel if it turned out to be true. 
Like in my logical mind I know it’s total bullshit. But then again, they never did find the Zodiac Killer did they

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2 minutes ago, WyattSheepMask said:

There is the tiniest bit of me that can’t shake how I’d feel if it turned out to be true. 
Like in my logical mind I know it’s total bullshit. But then again, they never did find the Zodiac Killer did they

Plus he was in the army, perfect cover for moving around 

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I also bought in to the Tupac conspiracy @gmoney. I dont fully remember the details but it all centred around Machavelli and the number 7. There was even a date that people thought he would come back on - I think it was 7 September 2007. I quickly realised it was all bullshit but there must have been some seriously upset people on hip hop message boards come 8th September.

Edited by deathrey
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I've been to the Cryptozoology Museum in Maine, which has a statue of Bigfoot outside as their kind of mascot. I'd say their take on him has a smidgen of credibility whilst being relatively harmless (unless it's somebody's gateway drug to wilder conspiracies). 

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23 minutes ago, deathrey said:

I also bought in to the Tupac conspiracy @gmoney. I dont fully remember the details but it all centred around Machavelli and the number 7. There was even a date that people thought he would come back on - I think it was 7 September 2007. I quickly realised it was all bullshit but there must have been some seriously upset people on hip hop message boards come 8th September.

Ha, yes I dimly remember that, and quite a lot of talk of lyrics spelling out that he was going to fake his death as well. 

Edited by gmoney
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9/11 was allowed to happen in order to stir up public support for an invasion of Iraq.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I'm sure I saw something about how declassified documents showed that the FBI/NSA/similar knew in advance about the 1993 bombing of the WTC, and allowed it to happen as they felt the risk to life was justifiable in relation to the intelligence they'd continue to gain from the perpetrators. 

When 9/11 came round, they again allowed it to happen because they could use it to justify invading Iraq, under the guise of it being retaliation. They figured a plane hitting the Tower would be similar to when a plane crashed into the Empire State Building. A monumental (in the literal sense of the word) amount of damage, a few dozen deaths, and fuel for the cause.

Unfortunately, they underestimated the amount of death and destruction that occurred. This is why when George Bush was given the news at the school he was visiting, his reaction was more in line with someone thinking "What have I done?".

Maybe it was just because it wasn't as mental as the hologram planes hiding missiles, lasers from space, controlled demolition, or those that think the towers are still there and are being hidden in some way, but it's not implausible.

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Princess Diana was murdered. Look, it’s no secret that the Windsors were fine to banish people away to protect the brand Royal Family Asylum , and Di had written a controversial book, had that Panarama special episode and was in a relationship with a Muslim. They couldn’t control her anymore, which meant keeping her from speaking out more. It’s certainly plausible 

 

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Years ago I worked with someone who had wild yet intriguing theory on the bible, evolution and the missing link.

His theory was that essentially many of the events contained in the bible were real events which were unable to be comprehended by the people at the time and miscontrued as miracles/divinity.

He believed that with the story of Adam and Eve instead of God placing them on earth it was an alien species who placed males and females on earth to see whether it was habitable for their species.

The "forbidden fruit" God told them not to eat was a metaphor for not having sex with other life forms already existing on the planet (primates).

The snake who tells Adam to eat the forbidden fruit was their dicks telling them to shag away.

God leaving them on earth as punishment was the other species punishing them by not taking them home after breaking the rules.

The by-product of the alien/primate romps were humans.

He believed Jesus was not the son of God but perhaps one of the offspring from these romps who had been put back onto earth and that many of the "miracles" were just things that couldn't be explained at the time because "Jesus" was more technologically advanced/educated/knowledgeable than they had ever seen or could comprehend.

Giving someone glasses is technically making a blind man see.

Feeding the 5000 could be teaching different more efficient and prosperous techniques of fishing and baking.

Water into wine is how all wine is made.

When one of the disciples cuts off the soldiers ear and Jesus touches it and its back on that was medical techniques they'd never seen before.

He believed that modern day UFO sightings/crashes were them coming back to see how things had progressed and also that aliens were responsible for the majority of huge technological leaps throughout time.

I've always been facinated by the pyramids of similar size, shape and measurements spanning numerous diffent continents that aren't believed to have any means of communicating with each other and their astrological ties.

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5 hours ago, Hannibal Scorch said:

Princess Diana was murdered. Look, it’s no secret that the Windsors were fine to banish people away to protect the brand Royal Family Asylum , and Di had written a controversial book, had that Panarama special episode and was in a relationship with a Muslim. They couldn’t control her anymore, which meant keeping her from speaking out more. It’s certainly plausible 

 

It'll carry more weight should anything/something happen to Ginge and Whinge.... (and I don't mean Geri and Christian Horner!)

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I’m convinced Diana is still alive.
 

Around the time she died, she was appealing to the press to leave her and Dodi alone. To the point my parents regular newspaper, The Daily Mirror, were displaying a picture of them at the top of the front page, with a red circle around it with a slash through and claiming to be a Diana Free Zone. 
My Auntie and Uncle were driving home from the airport when the news broke, and claimed that initial reports of the accident said she was seen walking around alive and well. 
My theory is that the accident was staged to ‘write her out’ of public life and she’s living it up somewhere on a desert island. 
 

I spout this theory regularly, so that when she finally shows up I can smugly say I told you so. And whenever I do I’m reminded as to how ‘there’s a guy works down the chip shop swears he’s Elvis’ I sound and I feel a bit silly. 

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My free pass is definitely a certain degree of new age psychedelic gump. I don't think they're a cure all panacea, man, but I find it genuinely impossible to believe that DMT experiences are solely a chemical reaction in your brain and not a sort of peek-under-the-curtain at a sort of messy cosmic narrative that we're barely equipped to understand the orchestration of. And I've not done it, either. That ship's sailed for me. The anecdotal alone seems massively weighed to something going on there. Not god, you mind, just stuff we don't really understand yet that will one day become science. 

Terrence McKenna was off his tits and really faltered at the end by making the mistake of trying to pin his poetic extrapolation of the psychedelic experience into actual theories with purported weight, dates and times, predictions etc but I do think he's a fantastically entertaining person to listen to on this subject. 

Basically, mushrooms do actually communicate with us. I'm all in on that. 

Anyone got any spare skins? Can I crash on that couch over there for a week? Cheers, mate. 

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