Jump to content

Your Conspiracy Theory Free Pass


Keith Houchen

Recommended Posts

Remember when conspiracy theories were fun? Just a silly belief without all the hateful bigoted bullshit that could lead you to sectioning or a seat on Bournemouth council as a Tory despite saying they’re all child raping lizards?

This is a thread for silly theories that you haven’t completely dismissed. A part of you may think there is a kernal of truth that Avril Lavigne WAS replaced by Melissa. Or that Boris Johnson didn’t have Covid and was hospitalised because he had a heart attack. 
 

Keep it light, the sillier the better. No hateful shit or wrestling related ones please.  I’ll begin

Shoebills - Part of me still thinks they aren’t real and someone in a mental bird suit to scare and befuddle me. I can’t explain why logic fails me here, I can’t 100% accept they’re real even though they clearly are. 
 

The Staircase Owl Theory. That geezer murdered his wife but a theory is she was attacked by an owl and it’s sort of believable. 
 

Richey Manic is still alive and living in Goa. 
 

Over to you. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Australia doesn't exist.

My favourite theory thing I ever read was in short lived artsy hip hop magazine, Fatboss.

It was an interview with Icke (sorry but there was a brief period when I was about 17 and into him. My Stepmum even bought me two of his books and said she was told she was evil in Waterstones for asking for them, and then nearly didn't give them to me as she thought I was being groomed 😆)

Anyway, in this interview he told an anecdote about a scientist that worked for the US government who had been asked to switch his work from drugs/pharma to creating bioweapons, and he refused and refused.

Then one morning he woke up, groggy, feeling like shit and wet. He went to the bathroom to throw up, and he noticed his chest had something on it. When he lifted his shirt, it was a large patch taped to his chest full of a translucent liquid.

He went to work the next day and was told that his body was now dependent on this translucent liquid and needed to be changed every 3 days, so if he refused to carry out their work, he would die.

As a 17yo, I popped hard at this story and it would be a go-to when we'd get stoned and talk about the "systems man, and the oppression and the government watching" and I've never thought about the actual logistics until now.

A liquid that gets absorbed through the chest? Is this even feasible? 

Just remembered the Icke books. Children Of The Matrix and Robots Rebellion. Never even finished them. Mad cunt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 minutes ago, WyattSheepMask said:

I know you said to keep it light, but “Bob Ross was a serial killer and his paintings were of where the bodies are buried” has always been my favourite just because of how ridiculous it is

That’s amazing, but do you believe it, or at least, won’t dismiss it?

@SuperBaconYeah Icke trots that one out at his lectures that a young paranoid  prick may have attended a couple of. Let’s call him Heath Kouchen. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Paid Members

I did genuinely believe that Tupac was alive for a while when I was about 13, and went so far as to print off a list of reason why I'd found on a mental website. I gave it to some people who at school who were easily won over by its sound reasoning. The one I remember being the most convincing was the fact that his life insurance had never been claimed. Very suspicious, and a sure sign that foul play was afoot. I gave it to my brother who was also into rap, hoping this would also sway him. He read it swiftly, handed it back to me and said "That's all bollocks. He's dead." But what about the life insurance?! "How the fuck do you, or they know anything about the life insurance?" Erm. Then he walked off. I still believed it for a little while, until I gradually came to see it as bollocks as well, and learned a lesson about reading things off of the internet. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators
2 hours ago, Keith Houchen said:

The Staircase Owl Theory. That geezer murdered his wife but a theory is she was attacked by an owl and it’s sort of believable. 

I really do believe this one.

I also like the "Paul is dead" theory myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...